Nothing puts the fire under me to work harder and faster like a message from daycare that includes "he had a bit of a temperature this morning..."

If you don't give me the four-finger steering wheel wave after I have done something kind for you in traffic then I will think you are a serial killer

Don’t mind me just busy sending dozens of friends and family a video of my toddler saying “I love you” for the first time 🥹

I clearly have been spending too much time with toddlers because I just said “say bye bye” to the cat when leaving the vet

“The corpse flower has started blooming” actually means that a parent of young children has managed a shower

Normalize yelling “DRAW DRAW DRAW!” like “CHUG CHUG CHUG!” to get your toddler hype about doing art

Me: I will not impulse buy Christmas stuff for the toddler Also me: HELLO ONE PLEASE

RIP to GrabOne, the last of the big NZ daily deal sites. I worked for rival company TreatMe years ago before it fell over, and was basically just paid to come up with terrible puns in ads for hairdressing and WOF deals. Soooo easy compared to TV. Take me back 😂

Share a cartoon from the past that kids today probably never heard of.

Books should have a detailed description of how the author also managed to pay rent, buy food etc, + how many additional hours they wrote per week on top of their day job, so everyone can see how often it's a minor miracle when something is completed let alone published.

Good Charlotte are coming to NZ and all my friends are realising we saw their same tour around the country aged 13/14. Rubicon opened for them 😂

In honour of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand. “Corrupt Final Draft file”

I am proud that: - We got a cat named Zola - Toddler quickly learned her name - Now according to him, every single cat is called Zola - Including the cat from the 1977 Japanese horror film HAUSU 😂

It amuses me that when daycare calls to report an accident the toddler has had, they always just say "with another child", so I can never tell if he has a tiny enemy 😂

Pleased that Toppa ice-creams are back but when do we get this one again

I’m very impressed with my cat’s camouflaging skills

Fun fact: when you have Long Covid but can’t work you have to go on the Jobseeker benefit because GPs can’t say whether you’ll still have Long Covid in two years - so teens with chronic conditions are now conceivably navigating absolutely debilitating symptoms while also getting zero govt support 👍🫠

I keep seeing ads for H.R. The Musical and getting a little sad it’s not H.R. Giger The Musical :(

I just saw someone use the abbreviation “AI;DR” and I’ll be laughing for a while.

Robin Williams' daughter has some quality thoughts on AI slop

Normalize trying to convince your partner that a 90s Pokédex does not count as screen time for the toddler

Thank goodness my toddler ate some* vegetables tonight for once! * three (3) singular kernels of corn

They are called “Pom poms” because when you give some to a toddler the surface area they occupy suddenly doubles again and again and then your entire house is just pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom

Just remembered that the dessert restaurant Strawberry Fare existed in Wellington, and the one time I went happened to be the same night a kid had overindulged and done a big vomit nearby 🤮😂

Millennials thinking about what type of “first bed” to get their toddler after the cot

Eating a capsicum like an apple because they finally cheaper in NZ supermarkets 😂

I’ve discovered a flaw in being an adult with a ton of collectible, fragile toys on the shelf, and that flaw is having a toddler.

Age yourself with a film you saw as a kid: (This is my first “in cinema” memory…)

I am really enjoying having most parts of having a cat again, but not ALL parts of having a cat again.

If every single person in NZ's South Island (1.2 mill) was displaced by war that would still be less people than this has happened to in Gaza (roughly 1.9 mill). But Luxon's PROUD of govt stance 🙃

Nice of the govt to raise chance of a Labour win I guess

Be the cringe you wish to see in the world

“The muffin wrapper has some substance to it” I say hopefully as the toddler refuses to eat all his breakfast except that 💀

Notable day: First shorts of the season

Gave our 18 month old a teeeeeny bit of Whittakers chocolate and it was less than 1 second before his little voice said “…more?!” 🥰 🍫

As the mama of a teething child: God I love paracetamol

Having a toddler in daycare = Doing mental math on whether to remove them for a week before Christmas to lower the chances of us all being sick for the holidays 😅

Would it be weird to go to Laneway simply to hear Pink Pony Club and then leave? It is my 2025 banger

Me trying to provide a healthy and varied diet for my toddler

Should we maybe just delete the whole internet?

Some days I’m a “pick up all the toys after the kid is asleep” parent, some days I’m a “literally kick a path in the toys to the couch” parent 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sometimes just built around a good title 🤷‍♀️

“I can’t let my child see me using my phone too much!” I think, before realising the child watching right now is my new cat

I follow my hometown’s Facebook page for the classic graphic design

A family effort

Congratulations to my toddler’s 18 month sleep regression - we’re 3 weeks deep and it has won my ‘Worst Sleep Since Newborn’ award. ☕️ ☕️ 💀 💀 ☕️ ☕️

I would like a plush toy of the Alien Earth sheep. ✨ manifesting merch ✨

Why are zip-up sweaters out of fashion for toddlers too?! They all have ginormous heads and require a good 10 minutes of wrestling for something to go over them. I’m begging you gives me zips

[screams, but to the tune of This Year]

Every daycare: “Another infectious disease has been confirmed among the children…” Also every daycare: “Here’s some biscuits the children made together for the parents to eat!”