I don’t care if the clock moved forward one hour I’m still charging you for that hour!

I don’t care if the clock moved forward one hour I’m still charging you for that hour!

My friend custom made me this Quark t-shirt for my birthday and it's one of the best things I've ever owned 💖 This is why you should have friends who listen to you talk about your blorbos and vice-versa.

So what if I committed more crimes in order to distract Odo from my previous crimes?

Feel free to send me gifts Preferably latinum

I mean how many people are gonna waste their time protesting Gul Dukat? Like 10?..

Don’t be Ridiculous! I’m not taking away your health insurance.. I’m just not gonna pay for it

I’m thinking it’s time to sell out

Well I’m shutting down the bar And it’s all your fault. With all your unreasonable demands like, “health care”, and “fair wages”

Proposed Rule of Acquisition number 285: No good can come of Private Equity

So uhh.. did Gul Dukat ever come to your private moon? .. just between you and me

Are you sure it wasn’t the Tylenol?

It’s almost Prime day again .. Prime day for me to make some Latinum

I’ll miss you big guy #RIP Morn

I have to be honest.. This is more disappointing than the time I visited a Vulcan ‘Sex Dungeon’

I’m sorry Damar but I’m cutting you off before you add me to another one of your little “group chats”

Think about it. Just one, maybe two runabouts is all I need Then every time someone wants hot fresh food and a cold beverage fast, all they need to do is hail “QuarkDash”

Live Laugh Latinum

No, I don’t think he is.. I mean he lies like a Ferengi But that RFK jr, his ears are much too small..

All I’m saying is when I had to work for the Cardassians I didn’t put on their uniform. And I damned sure didn’t salute them

What if, instead of getting paid more, I just take over the Klingon restaurant right next door?

Would you take those stupid glasses off already!?

Come to Quarks Bar and Holosuite Arcade Ring in the New Year with old friends! ..And new debts

Odoooo!! Odo!! There are three ghosts in my quarters! I demand you get rid of them!

I convinced the hoo-mons that what they saw was just “drones”

..And at Quarks Bar and Holosuite Arcade we promise never to snitch on you to the constable. So always remember, when you’re at Quarks, no you aren’t.

Ah. You must be one of my healthcare customers..

I have a permit!

Of course I marked up the price of turkey by 200% It’s not a crime. It’s capitalism

You hear that Odo? Every time someone says “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” it brings a smile to my face ..And latinum to my pocket

Don’t think of it as a “gross misuse of Federation resources” Think of it as.. an Opportunity

I’m telling you Morn it just doesn’t make sense! There is just no way the Tooth Fairy’s operation would be fiscally sustainable! What is a tooth worth on the open market anyway?

Whoever voted for “Grand Nagus” Brunt can get the hell out of my bar

In my defense, you were on an away mission at the time..

I’m sensing that perhaps we should have some sort of dialogue regarding the removal of the Block button?

Remember, if you are helping someone and expecting something in return, that is not kindness, that’s good business

Got a case of the “mondays” Come on down to Quarks for Free Chips* with every drink order * ᶜʰᶦᵖˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶦⁿᶜˡᵘᵈᵉᵈ

I told him not to use too much Beetle Snuff before the debate But does he listen to me??

That’s right, it’s called “Labor” day So get back to work.

This says here I owe 250 strips in late fees?? What for.. "The Joys of Self Oo-Mox"!? This is clearly a, uh, mistake, I would never borrow such a book. It must be someone else..

I've sold the rights to your likeness to Morn

I told you, this is now the VIP seating area So you can either buy into the VIP program or sit in "General Admission". It's just outside of the waste extraction unit

Today's lesson is called "Why corruption is good.. as long as it benefits me"

I can't tell you what number it is because "I Hate Mondays" is not a Rule of Acquisition

Yes I'd like to register a complaint! That Commander Riker took my latinum bound copy of the Rules of Acquisition and wrote "in my pants" on the end of every rule

Why did I leave that other station? Rule of Acquisition number 16 "A deal is a deal ..Until a better one comes along"