Gotta check out them assets. www.newsweek.com/irs-onlyfans...

Today on "What's Stuck in Matt's Headspace?": youtu.be/cm_cFzVAoo8?...

"Cranberry Wensleydale" is my stripper name.

Millie Bobby Browngiovi.

Sigh. We used to have stuff.

I know these are still brand spankin' new but they're already the best jerseys the Caps have and I hope we keep 'em around.

"Strong Floor, No Ceiling" isn't a political message, it's a fucking parking lot.

"How can we let people know that this is a show about selling stuff but really about a bunch of dicks?" "We could sell DVD sets but make each season a different size and slightly alter the color so they won't match at all." "Perfect."

Lots of cars with trees on their roofs today. Why don't any other holidays get a plant?

Today on "What's Stuck in Matt's Headspace?": Gillian Welch's music evokes cold gray mornings and timeless days. Her voice pristine, hovering above and between Dave Rawlings' crystalline guitar lines. It's a second cup of coffee and stare out the window kind of song. youtu.be/65FttBZ9pVU?...

True friends are the people you feel happy for when something good happens to them and endlessly make fun of when something bad happens to them.

Please remember that all the companies offering you stuff this weekend at 40-50% off the usual price are just telling you much they usually gouge you for their shit.

There's an article going around on the post-Me-Too comeback of Louis C.K. I haven't read it. Louis had the easiest path possible to forgiveness. He bowed out with some acceptance of responsibility for his abuses. But he came back with none, just new grievances. There are many other funny people.

Hey peoples: This here is one of my favorite accounts on Bluesky and sometimes the main reason I stick around social media (I do also love bouncing shit with the online jamily). We just completed the Best Album of '91 tourney; there will soon be a 2001 edition. Follow now and get in from the start.

It appears that Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are truly dead. You can count the number of modern playwrights who achieved what Tom Stoppard has on one finger. Few have ever combined erudition with such humanity and a sense for the absurdity of it all. R.I.P. Tom Stoppard. www.bbc.com/news/article...

One of those days where almost every interaction with my 8-year-old son is me having to tell him that the thing he is emphatically pronouncing as truth is so factually wrong that I have a hard time even beginning to unwind it. #TinyMansplaining

Today on "What's Stuck in Matt's Headspace?": I'm not sure Angel Olsen's indie rock fans were expecting an album of lush classic country soul searching when she released Big Time in '22, but the songwriting was as incredible as ever and the soul searching even deeper. youtu.be/C7cAafpRlbw?...

We have put on a football game that is airing on Amazon Prime and there are on-screen links to purchase items that pop up with the commercials and it is the worst and most annoying TV development I can think of after all the gambling crap.

Black Friday special: Today my skeets will be 50% off-putting.

Wow, I hated the ending of season 2 of Poker Face (...and therefore, I guess, of the series, as it's been cancelled). What a lousy note to go out on. Boooooooooo.

Ravens unis got me all... youtu.be/SkkIwO_X4i4?...

Introduce yourself with 10 ways you'd introduce yourself: Hey! Hi! Hiya! Hello! 'Sup? What's happening? Hey there Yo. Nice to meet ya. Hello my fellow kids

Just making sure I have this right: Post Malone was a hefty rapper who's now a skinny pop country singer?

I have recovered from chipmunk races. Time to get it on. youtu.be/ki3zzZ-GsGI?...

Well I just spent an hour chasing this guy back out of my house. How's your Thanksgiving going?

The time-honored tradition of watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and saying, "What the hell was that?"

Wow, Oscar the Grouch hasn't aged a day.

I didn't think 4 Non Blondes What's Up? could be any worse, but apparently all it needed was a techno beat to achieve new levels of badness.

Tough scene at the Macy's Day Parade where the Mario balloon and Bluey have just been hauled off by ICE agents.

I'm legitimately impressed that the White House turkey came up with enough Bitcoin to get pardoned by this president.

Hot Ones guy working the Macy's Day Parade. Look how far our boy has gone.

When life closes a CeeLo Green, it opens a Teddy Swims.

I am once again asking for a modern version of the Rampage video game where I can be a giant lizard in first person perspective tearing apart photorealistic and 3-dimensional versions of San Francisco, New York, Paris, Tokyo, and other recognizable cities. Thank you.

If I could do this retroactively, Mike Myers' Sprockets movie in 1998, and a follow-up film to The Kids in the Hall's Brain Candy, preferably also around 1998.

I've seen a play about this.

I think Impressionism still resonates so much because the subject matter and style are in perfect balance: pastoral lives captured in simple brushstrokes. What once seemed modern is now quaintly past, a dreamlike and beautiful view of a simpler world to modern eyes in post-industrial landscapes.

Everything about this movie says it should be terrible. A teen rip-off/riff on Pulp Fiction? With Scott Wolf, Jay Mohr, and Katie Holmes? Yeah, but there's Sarah Polley killing it, a young Timothy Olyphant, and tons of style thanks to Doug Liman's sure direction. It shouldn't work, but it does.

I try not to wade into the Goose wars, but that song "Madalena" is really good. Sounds Elton John or Bruce Hornsby-y.

My unpopular Star Wars/franchise movie take is that there are more good Rocky movies than there are good Star Wars movies.

Despite being Jewish and a Washingtonian, I'd never been to the Holocaust museum. Finally did it today. It's good to remind ourselves of humanity's capacity for inhumanity and what can happen when we grant the worst of us the power to blame, punish, and dehumanize people they've chosen to hate.

I'm at a Fresh Baguette and everything has two prices: regular and member. "How does one become a member?" I ask. Well, you can sign up through an app for $9.90 a month you can become a member and get 15% off the price of everything. At a chain bakery. What fresh fucking hell is this?

ah man, R.I.P. Jimmy Cliff. A true original and a legit musical pioneer, one of the very few people who can stake a claim to having helped bring reggae to the masses. youtu.be/fjW5f7i5EwE?...

Today on "What's Stuck in Matt's Headspace?": What happens when the Godfather of the Punk comes together with the most ethereal voice of The B-52's? You get this bit of magnificence. youtu.be/6bLOjmY--TA?...

The uncomfortable feeling when your mom plays "Jizz" in your Words with Friends game.

The passage of time has only made the first two Smashing Pumpkins sound better.

Listening to '90s rock radio is rough. It's like... dead, dead, dead, Pearl Jam, dead...

Now I've had the time of my life No, I never felt like this before Yes, I swear it's the truth And I owe it all to you

Ah man, Michael Hutchence passed away 28 years ago today. There were so many crazy rumors around his death; I feel like they dimmed our collective memory of just how big and good INXS were at the height of their powers. I mean, come on - this song's perfection. youtu.be/oOPBh2nHauk?...

A quick survey of beach clothing stores suggests the current aesthetic is "look thrift for lots of money."