Have taken the child on a play date at an indoor play space and it is loud AF. Usually D handles these outings and I am overstimulated AF 😳 I really like the kids mom tho, so that helps!

A much needed haircut and mood boost.

My eyes ache from crying last night and I didn’t get enough sleep and I don’t wanna work 😔

The kind of day where you have to add 3 Advil to your nightly allergy & heartburn medicine handful 🥱

When I don’t want to be spanked and have no interest in it, I feel so off kilter and broken 😕

Bluesky was a mess yesterday. Hopefully it's in better shape today. I posted my March Book Round Up today! And curious to hear from folks: how do I encourage people to comment on my blog instead of just replying here or wherever I share the link? notaspankingblog.net/2026/04/07/m...

Can finally run all my errands - the 12V battery in my car is dead but I finally jumped it myself for the first time today 🤪

I posted this and I am anxious AF about it, but it felt time. Ugh. notaspankingblog.net/2026/04/03/w...

I procured a manual for myself!

I have a completed blog post on the "what happened" topic of the last year and a half. It's over 5000 words. Do I post it publicly? Subscribers only? Not at all? Hm...

I think I forgot to share this yesterday, but I wrote a blog about preparing for a spanking party - the packing portion! notaspankingblog.net/2026/03/31/p...

The best post I’ve seen today: “Everyday is April Fool’s Day when you’re attracted to men.”

I'm alive! I've posted my February book round up - and I am working on another post a bit more...on topic! notaspankingblog.net/2026/03/30/f...

Was gifted this belt at GASP by a friend and it’s given me…ideas.

Just 4 of the ebony hairbrushes I currently have for sale!

Also: the joy of TTWD

How I feel about belts, a story:

I think I was the only person in the world to have no line in the Atlanta airport this weekend…this was 7:30 pm last night at the South TSA PreCheck check point…

Doesn’t @ohaijustalex.bsky.social find just the BEST hairbrushes? Everyone should envy her personal collection! 😍 this vintage satinwood ebony by Crabtree & Evelyn is such a vibe with its clear label and all. Can’t wait to feel it sometime.

Woke up at 2:30 to get ready and leave for my flight. Got stuck in the bathroom (damn Crohn’s disease), left late, garage I booked was closed, but got uncovered parking and right onto shuttle. Flight boards at 5:05 and it’s 4am now. I’m fine. I’m fine. It’ll be fine. But the anxiety 😰

Said no to a spanking for the first time probably ever, today. That was really hard. But also really necessary 😔

The ache I have to be seen by someone in *that way* - someone looking out for me. Holding me accountable - in small ways, not big life responsibilities - just…a little structure…

No need to be called out like this 😭

So much for putting myself to bed early. I’m useless at bossing myself around 🥱

Been a really long time since I posted one of these…

Surely I need *something* in between these…

Booked flights for our 5 month Scotland adventure 🥳

Exhausted. Have a sick kiddo (Flu B) home the last two days, a work crisis, and my house is a mess 🥴

Having completed the parent forms for the intake for kiddo play therapy, I think I’ve sufficiently beat myself up tonight. So much for sleep.

Nothing like having a pity cry for yourself because no one wants to spank you 🥲

I think I’m on an indefinite hiatus from play. I’m not in a good mental state. I mean, not that people are knocking down my door to play anyway 😂 but I feel like I need to make it official for myself and my wellbeing. A conscious choice for now.

And to top it all off - costar chose violence today 😭

Two years ago (Mar 1) I wore my uniform in person for the first time. It’s been a rough week, being reminded that I’ll never wear them again 😔😢 I want to be grateful for the memories but it still hurts too much.

I spent literal hours today, crying. Regret to inform that I don’t feel any better for it, either.

Poignant as I’m sitting in my car, sobbing, in a parking lot.

Trying to remember that this first spanking from someone special was important and worth remembering, even if thinking about him now is painful. So many firsts in one moment. I wish they hadn’t been so close to “only”.

@enagoski.bsky.social I just finished “Come as You Are” and I consider myself a fairly sexually open and informed person, and I learned a TON. It’s been a long time since I cried while reading a book. It was so good.

I wish people would stop even casually referencing their childhood spankings on Fetlife. It’s creepy and gross and weird.

Been a long time since a book made me cry.

I started a Fetlife profile about my ebony brushes! If you’ve bought from me, I’d love some photos and permission to tag you on Fetlife. fetlife.com/therightbrus...

Ok but I want it. Which one? Yes 😂 especially the Crabtree & Evelyn. It’s the perfect size! Love the screws!

The irony of someone mentally unstable and incapable of being safe in kink spaces, espousing the importance of safewords 😅

We had enough snow and excitement yesterday - no more snow necessary, thanks!!

Can someone else go yell at what I am SURE is a white man, in my AMA? fetlife.com/ThatGirlMari...

There’s this completely irrational feeling, when you don’t get spanked by people you care about, that you’re unloved and unlovable. It’s quite unfair.

Has the school considered my ability to remain sane and send this child back to school whole after yet another Monday snow day, when they could just clear the roads properly instead???

Sometimes the ache of the rejection of the last year just becomes overwhelming 😕

This week has been…a week 🥴

The big feelings are big feelings-ing.

If you’re cute & new & popular, everyone cares when your consent is violated. Not so much when you’re older and fatter and have less friends. If you’re attending GASP, you should know I raised concerns about the serial predator who assaulted me attending, and he will be allowed to attend.