When an expo booth has the big squishy floormats >>>

My Mayor Muslim, My Bagel Jewish… …And I’M in THERAPY!

Do people know when I post “Kalshi sounds like a frickin breakfast cereal” I’m doing a Kashi ad or has that truth bomb not yet hit Bluesky

Los Angeles has spoken, and their message is “stay out of it, Nick Lachey.”

Graham Platner is a rotten man and God willing I will never have to vote for him.

“Nick Bilton” is like a character name in a thinly fictionalized roman à clef about the history of Gawker.

Sliwa is a mascot for people who hate New York City, those who think the Pelham 123 remake was a documentary and that the Times Square Red Lobster is worth eulogizing.

No worries, they’ve just announced another wave of music acts for the 250th: * one of the girls who was in Seduction but not Michelle Visage or Idalis * Jordy, the rapping French baby * Another Another Bad Creation, the Another Bad Creation tribute band

Every local business is using AI-generated posters online and they all look the same (bad)

If Wendys’ junior sandwiches get any smaller White Castle will sue them

A real man doesn’t eat salads or talk to their children about their feelings; a real man eats raw meat, gets $100k in plastic surgery to look like their childhood action figures and make their testicles the size of ripe peaches, and then keeps women safe by being a terrifying and volatile person.

May 4, 1976: We’ve spent the last 2 years preparing to celebrate the bicentennial. We put up stars & stripes wallpaper in Troy’s bedroom. USA USA USA May 4, 2026: Meh.

I personally know several unremarkable Twitch streamers who have larger paid audiences than Tuckley Carlsbad.

Better a Democrat Nazi in the Senate than a Republican Nazi I guess

Anyway. I’m glad nobody was hurt and I’m sure the journalists who attended the WHCD will not center themselves and their personal experiences and instead remain focused on holding the powerful accountable and informing the people about their government.

Streamers are going to start speedrunning the Hinckley Hilton like it’s a Scientology office

Real journalism is done by people whose names and faces you do not know.

If someone tried to shoot up the party I was at I would go home

The empty Pep Boys warehouse that was to have become an ICE detention camp is now serving as an unsanctioned rest area for truckers. Highest best use

He doesn’t know any exploitable facts about the Catholic Church except the covering up sex abuse stuff, which he happens to agree with

I don’t care who’s posting what on TSocial, just send me a news alert if It Happens to any of them

"This is not who we are" should always be understood as an aspirational statement that carries forward the legacy of countless Americans who fought and died to make it as true as possible, to create the space for you and I to take up the rallying cry.

Going through a list in my mind of the strategic targets I might be within the blast radius of

The man loves a sneak attack, usually when he threatens in advance to do something it’s a bluff. Usually.

Any mention of Byron Allen makes me hear in my head Kim Wayans shouting “BYRON ALLEN?!”, from a 35-year-old In Living Color sketch that I’ve forgotten every other detail of

Keep the oil, you filthy animal!

In an era where it’s considered worse to be “mid” than bad, maybe Silicon Valley rent seekers shouldn’t have pushed to replace all creative work with arithmetically average pabulum

What Bryon Noem did is inexcusable. NO ONE should ever be married to Kristi Noem

Haven’t followed the arguments closely but I’d be sympathetic to a rationale that “government can legally ban conversion therapy” opens the door for “government can legally ban all gender affirming medical treatment”.

Disney characters being on Sora? Yeah, it’s called my Kingdom Hearts erotic fan fiction

If I saw ICE agents aimlessly milling about at the airport I’d ask them “Are you lost?” Then I’d tell them to get lost.

When I go to Montreal and eat too much potatoes the result is Angine de Poutine

My son, Saxon, is so based that he would just order milk when we went to dinner in Big City. This would always stun the staff, as they had never heard anyone actually order milk!

If you’ve been to Sloatsburg, NY… you know

I mean if I’m a diplomatic representative of a NATO country my opening bid for getting involved in resolving Hormuz is “Trump must resign”

For sale: oversized Florsheim shoes, well-worn

I know one thing for sure: before this week I had never heard the term “dignified transfer” for this ceremony in my life

The Website told you to reject non-essential cookies. It was their final, most essential command.

take her out to the gravel pit

Nibblemaxxing McD’s exec gets SAVAGELY BURGERMOGGED by BK Chad, falls below Col. Sanders in Global Fastfoid Rankings

I would be happy if the gambit pays off and this leads to a new era of peace and prosperity in the Middle East with no anti-U.S. backlash. Unfortunately, I’m not stupid

Going through a list in my mind of the strategic targets I might be within the blast radius of

Computer, show me feel-good stories of Kansans driving their trans neighbors to where they want to go

Remember in Faces Of Death when those diners looksmaxxed that little monkey

A cross-cultural breakfast scramble made of eggs and scraps of South Indian crepe, call it dosamigas

Trump was a big Olde English comedy fan in the 2000s and thought he was hiring Mr. Bob-Waksberg

Doompoasters: killing the tariffs just guaranteed GOP wins the midterms. oh god oh fuck The President: I am going to do more unpopular tariffs now. 9 months of illegal taxes like you’ve never seen.

Will you commit to voting for Donald Trump if he wins the Democratic primary?

What if it happens on Presidents Day

The best/only reason to fund DHS is so they can pay out the hundreds of thousands of civil claims they will be found liable for