*recommitment to signing off internet and working thwarted by checking email.* KILL ME NOW I AM DEAD.

I think I am a nervous pee-er.

i am afraid of my 3 lb cat.

i am a: 🐈 cat mom 🖥️ writer 🔪 horror author 👻 ya author 💘 romance author 🔮 woo woo spiritualist 💙 human-first leftist 🧣 unapologetic swiftie 🙄 sometimes funny, often snarky single childless cat lady if you can relate, let’s be friends. #amwriting #horrorwriters #writingcommunity

I am once again bribing myself with food to up my word count. there is no way this can backfire. #doom #wip #amwriting

OK, writers, let's do this. One thousand words in one hour. #1k1h

My goal for the day is to not have to pee every 15 minutes. So far, I am failing. #thinkdrythoughts

sometimes i think i am too introverted and try to make friends but then quickly realize humanity sucks and i'm better off with cats instead.

editing a sexy romance to the playlist of my ya sci-fi thriller. I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

If you're looking for a cat, pls consider adopting one with cerebellar hypoplasia. CH cats need a bit more help, but they're wonderful.

writer: yay! book is done! reader: yay! let me read it! writer: OMG NO IT NEEDS ANOTHER EDIT SHUT UP I HATE YOU OMG.

We have hit the drooling part of our snuggle For clarity, Henry the cat is drooling, not me. Ours is a decidedly one-sided relationship in that respect.

omg time for nap zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Please excuse me while I make fetch happen.

well hot damn. bananas really do open more easily from the bottom.

well i've heard enough of the new taylor swift album to know it's not for me. i'm going to bed now.

OK, writers, let's do this. One thousand words in one hour. #1k1h

Dear cat, You didn't have to steal my sandwich. I would have shared anyway.

i am going to give a feral cat a pill. wish me luck. #goodbyetypingfingers

Ugh. I think i has a sick.

new rule. for every 500 words i write, i get to eat a bowl of cereal. that's fair, right? #amwriting

My writing career (such that it is) summed up in one image:

One. Thousand. More. Words. Come on, self. It won't be that bad. And when it's over, you can have another bowl of cereal.

The problem w/Maggie is that she's no Cristina & she's no Lexi, but she's a half-gelled version of both of them. #seenitdonebetter #greysanatomy

today I learned: in addition to being a nervous pee-er, i am also a nervous flosser. my dentist will be so proud.

"how do you work with that sound?" "what sound?" "you don't hear that? it sounds like a cricket is being electrocuted." "oh. that. eh.

HOW I EDIT: 1) re-read book 2) what asshole wrote this? 3) ugh no 4) light cleanup 5) fuck it 6) dynamite and hammers 7) rewrite everything

growing up, bedtime was whenever tv programming gave way to infomercials. now it is whenever my feed fills up w/ pre-scheduled promo

I'm at that stage in editing where I either need to hit send or scrap everything and start all over. #amediting

what am i but a walking flaming elmo meme

"*opens the internet* *has immediate regret* *goes back to writing*"

ICYMI: If you're a #spoonie writer or know a spoonie writer, check out this podcast by Sophia Chang in conversation with Chatham Greenfield: youtu.be/P0FgIYj7eng?... #amwriting #amediting #writingcommunity

How does one write a Christmas novella? What is the novella to Christmas ratio?

the thing about having a deaf cat is that he thinks he's farting oh so quietly. and let me tell you, he is not. #notsosilentbutdeadly #cats

OK, writers, let's do this. One thousand words in one hour. #1k1h

so at some point tonight i lost my pants. #oops

i am having a straight up writer panic right now.

love is…letting your cat stand on your head so he can catch the firefly climbing on the ceiling.

OK, self. Write now, procrastinate later. #amwriting

all these doctors want to talk about is george, my giant ovarian cyst who causes no trouble outside of the fact that he may have bloodflow and therefore may 👻 me if he pops one day but all i want to know is WHERE THE HELL IS MY COCCYX AND WHY IS IT NOT WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE

reminder for querying authors that you owe it to yourself and to your work to be choosy. you do not have to query everyone. and you probably shouldn't. if someone is behaving unprofessionally on Twitter, they're probably not behaving much different in private negotiations. #amwriting #querying

the pathetically real moment of my agent call was melanie mentioning my social media/twitter and me going back and looking at it as an observer and realizing, 'oh dear. i think i'm a psychopath. i'm genuinely terrifying if you don't know me. and probably if you do. 🙃’. #amwriting #amquerying

Welcome to Tennessee, where it’s your right to use a gun but a felony to use your voice

i am a: 🐈 cat mom 🖥️ writer 🔪 horror author 👻 ya author 💘 romance author 🔮 woo woo spiritualist 💙 human-first leftist 🧣 unapologetic swiftie 🙄 sometimes funny, often snarky single childless cat lady if you can relate, let’s be friends. #amwriting #horrorwriters #writingcommunity

adopt me as your writer in virtual residence. i'll drink your coffee and write things. we'll both be happy

Fwiw, I’m happy to flush a billionaire to the bottom of the sea for free

brb gotta put someone's name in a lemon real quick..

rAiSe YoUr HANTT iF yOu WANTT bUfFaLo ChIcHeN wEeNgS rItE nOw

there is a cat butt in my face. #catpeopleproblems

#Hygge is when you buy a heated weighted blanket and it becomes your entire personality.