before travelling back to LDN I feel its anxious arm lurch towards me

I associate purple plums with la rentrée

keep in mind: ocean at eyeline

Everything after Fanny

the transformation of sadness and depression into courage, letting go, and right action

distant thunder in early morning, heard in half-awake state as the beginnings of air strikes in response to the depravity of Merz within Europe

high potential for transference with movement instructors because of endorphins released via class

the home language of illness (a slip for ‘English’) needs to leave my body, too

falling peony petals reading each a copy of Recognition by Andrea Brady given by Lizzie

the chef is beginning his preparations

Maxis, ”Berlin hört nicht auf, zu Ende zu gehen.” (2025) @weakanalogy.bsky.social // me on Berlin’s perpetual over-ness (2019)

surround-sound hum of May Day Berlin from fifth-floor desk: circling helicopter, live trumpet, raucous kids, ripples of laughter-chatter, chirping birds, bass speakers, siren swirl

fine fingernail moon to coincide with my rejuvenation

the way in which the receptionist – witnessing me mid-panic attack, short on air – kept repeating: Gesundheitskarte. Gesundheitskarte.

editing Hilton Als on a Friday

meteopatica returns to northern europe

At our stop, in giddying contrast to northern europe, rushing to kiss everyone in the group on at least one cheek before the doors would close

reading stack at Asa’s: Chris Kraus’s Aliens & Anorexia (unbelievably, have never dared to read); Maxi’s snacks; Gary Indiana on sumo wrestling – ‘Deep Fat’

Man City vs. PSG: my roots vs. my finishing school (cannot now support either)

notes + dreams

Don Cherry’s New Researches’ Ganesh cycling in my head since the beginning of 2025: “they don’t smile so much in the north”

winter = death

It often feels like world’s end at the year’s end in Berlin, amid the firework warfare and its collateral detritus; this year, with us and other residents asking at the café-bar if they still have running water – cut in many central districts over dinnertime – more than most

lost a lens during Nick Cave‘s The Weeping Song in the soundtrack to Nan Goldin‘s Sisters, Saints, and Sibyls – naturellement

the holiday dislodging of days

chilling that the German tax return form has a date of death (in case of death) line.

everyone’s breath was so soft and rhythmic in yoga class this morning it was like access to the ocean

On Sunday, the constant din was of celebratory car horns rather than sirens. Today, the Syrian driver told me he will soon (inshallah) return to Damascus to see his parents for the first time in almost a decade.

In Gaza City a single banana cost $30. A family of 12 ate the contents of a bag they found assuming it was cheese. It was C4 explosives. Causing convulsions, hospital admittance. The levels of hunger.

“Have you,, crossed the picket line with that grapefruit in the fruit bowl?”

she multi-tasks: face mask – receipt sort – hip stretch – Thawra podcast

good day to get sedated

[[[when the managing ed. is dyslexic]]]

Oct 9th: the wasps and the buskers are both 1–2 months off their usual season

back to siphoning off money paid by german institutions to gazan/lebanese gofundmes, and other minor actions

writing’s requisite: luxurious discipline

Turiya and Ramakrishna to enter the substitute chapel

south indian weather oiled me for half bound lotus forward fold

you can write it in a letter babe

this summer has had a feeling of compacted intensity – no let up

@akren.bsky.social great avatar on here 🐜

parsley seed face oil, greek mountain honey, balearic olive oil going some way to lift the cheap, soleless hotel room; still needed: peaty scotch.

In my dream, we are trying to help an old lady catch her bus – it’s the REM1 route, which, though infrequent, opens up so many possibilities when it comes! Then, it’s as if she could ride it for 900 hours

every early-hours wake a repetition of childhood jetlag time between precious solitude and sadness

translation of birth certificate into the language of my lover as re-registering of existence as a person