I can’t wait to be back to normal, I’ve been exhausted, fuzzy headed and nauseated for what feels like forever.

I’m a bit nervous because I used The Google to read about women’s experiences with medical abortion and of course got every horror story of labour pains from hell. I have Many Painkillers, a heating pad and the Heavy Pads of Doom so hopefully it’ll just be the heavier period I’ve been promised.

Part 1 of The Abortion is going well— mifepristone just blocks the effects of progesterone on the reproductive system, so it doesn’t have terribly dramatic effects to start. Tomorrow morning I take Part 2, misoprostol, which induces contractions and promises to be more exciting.

Unvagueing- I’m pregnant, very much not on purpose. Mr B and I spent the weekend deliberating and I am pleased to announce my abortion (well, pill 1 of 2) is scheduled for Friday.

Lolololol turns out it wasn’t PMS…

I STG I didn’t know when I posted this. Damn you, sexy Aeryn Sun!

Turns out even 10+ years of infertility can fuck you over eventually. Use contraception! Even if the fertility doctors laugh at you! 6 weeks pregnant in my forties. I’d never, ever have guessed.

Unvagueing- I’m pregnant, very much not on purpose. Mr B and I spent the weekend deliberating and I am pleased to announce my abortion (well, pill 1 of 2) is scheduled for Friday.

We have blep, repeat, we have sighted blep! #catsky

Pardon me while I vaguepost: Shit damn goddamn fuck fuck fucking shitting hell.

Aeryn Sun is shooting a gunsword and I think she just got me pregnant. #FarscapeRewatch

Wore heels for the first time in years (2.5 inches! No that much!) and was forcibly reminded both why I used to wear them (I looked so good!) and why I stopped (owwww + slow).

One of my BiLs referred to me as a “sugar momma” and Mr B and I just laughed and high-fived each other. BiL was nonplussed.

When I dream a bout sewing my own clothes, this is what I dream about.

So excited to go to the launch event in Dublin on Wednesday!!

Watched Cell tonight, a super mid movie (criminally wastes Jackson plus Cusak’s wig is a crime) but Mr B having a blockage has upset me enough that I am turning on some Farscape to cope with the ending.

I was seeing a new dr, with an observing student. Mid-discussion of my itchy rash, he goes “Have you thought about going off your SSRI? You seem to be doing really well.” I bared my teeth and replied, “Yeah, my bloodwork has been solid too, maybe I should stop taking my thyroid meds.”

Long ago when I was a new mom, I promised my social media that I would keep all poop-related stories to myself. That’s a promise I intend to keep… no matter whether the poop is human or feline. 😭😭😭

Also I have had a persistent headache dancing juuust on the line between “distracting” and “active hindrance” for four days now. On the plus side, pretty sure the sleep issues have been resolved with some temperature regulation in the bedroom and a new stretch.

Ughhhhh my boob hurts. PMS in my forties goes a lot harder than it used to. 😭

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW (2014) is 80 minutes of creepiness in the Paris catacombs and academic hubris leading to DOOM… followed by 13 minutes of stupid. Those 80 minutes are choice tho.

Dissociation Birthday Cake

“What do you get if you multiply six by nine?”

Tired beyond all reason. Piercing headache. Irritability like a burning sun. Soon, blood will flow.

Also I am getting smart and temp muting “Mother’s Day” this year. Miss me with that shit.

Chat, is it normal to mentally reply “Fuck off” to every single message from your boss?

I’m so extremely excited to be launching ALL HAIL CHAOS on the evil date of May 13 on the MAIN STREET of Dublin’s fair city hosted by @dubray-books.bsky.social and in the company of @griffski.bsky.social! It couldn’t be better. My behaviour couldn’t be worse. Hope to see you there!

I’m so pissed they killed Pike in Into Darkness. Paralyze him you fucking cowards! Put him in a beepy chair!

I enjoy drawing the same photo or object repeatedly. By “enjoy” I mean that I learn a lot every time and it is very humbling.

Mr B, audibly Not Judging as the Star Trek Reboot theme plays: “Which one is it this time?” Me: “The worst one.” Mr B: “That doesn’t help!”

Embluening the hair once again. It’s now long enough for a real ponytail! Considering refringenating as well.

The best Ghostbuster and I will fight you about it

Drew two of my favourite things tonight- a shaded attempt at a poppy from today’s walk, and a quick sketch of my daughter. Neither is any /good/ but I really enjoyed both and I know with every sketch I get a little closer.

Baby’s first open skylight, with birbs.

No thoughts, just MURDER.

Me this week:

Woohoo!

Jesus god obviously I meant Buffy, fucking autocorrect.

Marriage is funny. I just watched Cabin in the Woods, a movie my Buddy-poisoned mind quite likes and Mr B violently hates. After the ensuing hour long “discussion” (ranging from “why that movie’s ending is/is not morally and artistically bankrupt” to culturally acceptable ways of expressing anger)

Learning to draw. Petey edition!

Petey only agreed to let me stop scritching him with my off hand to take this photo if I offered him a continuous stream of praise: “Pretty boy, beautiful boy, best boy ever…”. The purrs were enthusiastic and unending.

When Myka left I got Petey, who is always 100% up for snuggling. He’s a slim short haired tuxedo boi but acts like he’s got ragdoll genes. Though the only ragdoll cat I ever knew clearly hated all humans and resented our ability to make him go limp. It was very creepy.

I think miss kitty can tell I’m sad— she’s been pressed up against my side and purring for the past 20 minutes. Sweetie Myka.

Fuck. I was going to be naturalised as an Irish citizen this week, but the ceremony was cancelled because of disruptions caused by the fuel protests. Next ceremony isn’t until June. V disappointed…

Myka is very loved, and by god does she know it.

Eeeeeee!!!

My undergrad alma mater has always had this amazing way of making me feel like an afterthought. Got an email invite today to our 20th class reunion… on the last possible day for early registration and less than two months to the reunion. First I’ve heard about it. 😡