Household chores done just because. Like he just gets up and knocks out a few dishes or suddenly starts vacuuming. Or planning, being in charge of a trip, leading. To the bone man, until my dangly thang is bruised. Im gonna devour him like a starving man on Thanksgiving Respectfully

Can this be a job? Like can I get hired to be lifted and bench pressed. Asking for me.

Can I do a keg stand? I did a 4 year bid in Iowa for college. My friends had farm and cornfield parties. Yes, I can tap a keg and do a keg stand....now with a little help 😂

I thought today was Thursday

The only suit I'm wearing on a plane. The Swuit! The government and airlines turned air travel into Greyhound travel but want us to act like their planes are 1957 Pan Am luxury...gtfo

You're lactose intolerant.

Remember my quasi thread about the right wanting us to think everything is miserable and AI will make it all better? Yeah

Live footage of "Why that baby aint got no coat on?"

If I send you this know, I'm not playing, I indeed have time, and I am the definition of "pull up"

Got HR working overtime.

In 2020 my therapist made me take a selfie every damn day til I could admit I was pretty w/out making a joke. It took until May of 21🫠.I still struggle, but when I randomly come across it, I say "Hey pretty girl" clamping my self deprecating mouth shut. #growth Just a reminder to be kind to yourself

I have thoughts. This may be a thread. You know how socialist wish to have a basic universal income and other basic universal things (housing, Healthcare etc.). I think the right is trying their own ghoulish AI version. The goal is to diminish us as consumers, it gives us power...

That's a Monday, lemme tell the husband hes not going in that day because we have S1 marathon and S2E1 to gorge on.

What is your favorite movie from before 1970? #RandomMovieGIF Singing in the Rain Gene was a certified asshole dick to Debbie off screen but dammit these 3 made gold.

And one more thing, you need to understand the word consent. Do you think a woman's rape is just sex? Just bc a penis goes into a vagina doesnt make it consensual. The same way my ppl being dragged here doesnt make us immigrants P.S. I have 0 issues w/ immigrants just this person erasing my history

I am not a descendant of immigrants, my people didnt come over willingly with suitcases to Ellis Island. My people did not WILLINGLY come over on a boat. I am not a descendant of Native or Immigrants I am the descendant of the American Transatlantic Slave Trade.

I'own even like this man but as a fellow July Cancer. I get it. I get it on a cellular soul level. Our petty, diabolical, never letting shit go King!

Parents, 1 siblings, kids, husband. I have theirs too. They not about to pass Wendy's and not get me a Frosty and Fry.

That's that Studio 54 pure

2 degrees outside. Dont ask me to do shit outside these covers today.

Yeah I called my kids school with the quickness this morning. We not outside today

I LOVE finding the original of songs I adore. Dilla will forever be the goat for this.

Oldest wants to go to the show Me:

Mos Def Rakim Jay Lupe Twista

I was a Christina girly, she was just hootin and hollering to everything

Because they way White people went crazy over Pippa's butt was comical. They thought it was "so big" she must be wearing padding.

Burn it down with EVERYONE who failed this child. Locked inside with 15 inch dildos shoved up their ass.

Random but I will always call this woman Lasagna Vanzant. I dont know why but when I see her name by brain sees Lasagna

Awwww I found one that's light up 🥹

Introduce yourself as a Black TV character

You wanna get shot by cops or deranged MAGA? This is how you get shot by cops or deranged MAGA.

Spotify said I'm 45. And is!

For my Bob's Burger/Linda Belcher stans

Closed!!!

Ive always known the human species sucks but I had some hope. I no longer have that hope. Not as individuals but human has a whole are horrible creations.

Story of my life. I'm free now but left very scarred.

I despise 2 hour delays for school. Just call it off and let me stay in bed.

Naw because Rudolph is better than me. You roast my nose and now you want my help?? Fuck them kids, blame Santa for not raising them goofass reindeer right.

My husband's been watching me make it for 15 years and this Thanksgiving he officially made his first cheesecake, with my oldest making the crust and it was 100% perfect, no notes.

Dinner consumed, kitchen spotless, playlist jamming throughout the house, everyone in their respective spaces waiting for someone to yell "cheesecake time!" Its so peaceful and I love it

Dinner consumed, kitchen spotless, playlist jamming throughout the house, everyone in their respective spaces waiting for someone to yell "cheesecake time!" Its so peaceful and I love it

My Rick James voice: Im not gonna splash a touch of Sir Davis in my ham glaze Also Rick James: Yeah I splashed Sir Davis in my ham glaze

Chicago Dark Shrimp Fried Rice or Arroz Con Gandules. I have to be pulled off of it.

I dont even want to lose a ton of weight, I just want to be able to hit that Lil Kim album cover pose every now and again.

Donuts and coffee for breakfast today and tomorrow. They better forage for lunch.

18 I was cool but 19??? "He ain't it!"

Chanel #5. Been smelling like a classy old broad since 1997

Hit delivery real quick when I saw that wind, rain and snow advisory. Dont worry, I tipped well. Plug dropped off my green Making my grandpa's ham glaze No one goes to school or work today. Its a good day! Alexa: Play Cap Keep Coming by Luke

4 Christmas movies to know me: