My Brazilian surgeon could not even respond to my last message thanking them for my care, telling them I was going back to the states.

Brazils institutions failed me deeply

It feels rushed but I always end up acting on breaking point in this relationship because he just asks me to push through when I’m depleted.

I’m going back on my own because I’m done waiting for every last date being about his PhD.

I’m leaving today. He couldn’t even hold me. He just gave vague reassurances of it’s gonna be okay and went about his day. Yet he acts clueless when I say we both need different kinds of people for a healthy relationship. I know I need someone older, stable, emotionally available, w stable career.

Rudinn Floradinn #art #digitalart #deltarune

You know I’ve said so much and I feel lonely and stuck.

My feelings don’t matter enough to anyone

Just realized can’t do a go fund me until I back in the USA

Guys I had to sell my house as a trans woman because I was constantly harassed and had to move to Brazil to hope find freedom. It did it work out. I had to get emergency surgery and lost savings. Would this community support me if I made a go fund me ? I need help.

I’m sick of everyone talking about Trump. At some point yall enjoy the bread and circuses. Every boomer is just either spreading hate online or virtue signaling online. Get up and do something for the younger generations if you really care. I know I’m posting myself but I’ve had to fight 4 my life.

Calling all Canadians in BC area

Applying to research labs in BC. Amgen specifically, looking for people in the Burnaby and Vancouver area.

Guys my husband and I are moving back to Seattle. Capitol Hill area but are looking for connections in British Columbia Canada and hoping applying to research scientist jobs in the area. After a hard year abroad we want to make this painful year feel like it was not a complete loss.

I love sahi g monöä uyööpi

Mirropå biomop åjoör lettiä irvistyortun!

Äälköin feraädte ghöltja mjoruö.

Kärsääni Molepaä burrnots bullilnöö faarnisar.

Tulo yupo kaari ääreen pan låtooan tukiopånoma loöliny bummå noer äöbö Biöök.

Tiimoo loostaa forin tuur?

Guruma Tuka nut. Dela kong nehk tur lotta kell fang. Joramit tol fua naahkk.

It’s hard I had a house but it just sucked were we lived. Terrible neighbors and neighborhood. Maybe better things will come from renting.

😜😜😜🤣 😈😈

I don’t know if we’ll ever buy a home again. What our future will look like. It feels like we had to loose so much. The USA hurts its citizens. It does not help them succeed unless they are rich. I believed everyone deserved a home. I truly did. Now I lost the first house I ever owned.

He hugs me but can’t tolerate that I talk about how I’m grieving the house sale. What was I supposed to do when I was trans and Puerto Rican born. When I had lived so isolated and scared. Yet so many straight couples are now living their dreams and buying houses. Yet it was at our expense and pain.

I’m going back but my art room is gone. The library. His office. The big country kitchen. The huge living room that gave view to the back yard. The dogs room. Our big bed room. It’s all somone else’s now. We sold it and it didn’t materialize into something better. just got a year of pain in Brazil.

Hitler kitty. 😱

It’s official I’m going home. Tickets are bought. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop in Argentina tho before I leave this southern continent.

Legit had people from the ClinLab Solutions call to make interviews just to cancel when we are waiting to interview. Also we have to let them know we are waiting, and then they cancel. Definition of last minute cancellation. It’s happened to times already. Why waist people’s time?

I hope I can drift peacefully to sleep and never wake up 🫂🏳️‍⚧️🫂

This hit like a ton of bricks. 💔

I thought we’d buy a big house in Brazil. One better than our first home. How quickly that reality changed. We realized this was never a place we would want to buy a home. Maybe we won’t own a home again until we’re old and tired. The dream was taken. Brazil you’re so proud, yet pride is not a home.

Take care of that house. It was my home. The Tori gate was where I promised my love to the man I hold. The fences were built as castle walls, to fortify and protect our loving little fur babies and the fruits in our garden. The coop kept the chickens safe and warm. Each room told a story of its own.

When violence against trans women happens the world is silent. That’s why we are killed and nothing barely happens to the people responsible.

Wanting support from your spouse is not abuse. Panicking and needing reassurance is not abuse. Being hurt, scared, lonely, and desperate to leave is not abuse.

I literally have packed all on my own. Have contacted car sales people, figured out the dog transport, have told him hey we need to sell the furniture and all he does is stares at his phone and focuses on going to the lab. If I could realistically leave by myself at this point I would.

I held so much in private before. It feels good letting it out. Not caring what others think. Some of the worst things happen when you isolate yourself in pain. For a long time I could not even write about this. That’s how bad the pain was.

This is the diary of an angry trans woman.

Out of everything that hurts from selling the house, it was the Tori gate that we had gotten married under in that hurts the most to me. There was history in that wood. A symbol of the love in our marriage.

I’ve worked hard to get all the things I had. I didn’t have it because I came from a supported family. I had it because I fought for it. And left scared because those same people who were my relatives voted in a predator to destroy my life. I hope you all eventually get the pain and hate you vote 4

I was here. I existed in this world. I came out of that bjtches womb kicking & screaming. The woman who later abused me and let so many do the same to my body. Giving birth does not make you a mother. It’s not a miracle. It’s loving the child and supporting them unconditionally what makes a mom.

I’m glad I’m not bottling up any of this anymore. That it’s out there in the world. There’s evidence of what was done to me. Of what I went through and felt. The world just chose to ignore it. The algorithm chose to suppress the pain. The heavy realty in this post did not invite comments or likes.

I want to leave. But also I’m sad that we went through all this and lost so much.

So many bad things happened in the this Serrano desert. So many people treated us like utter crap. We felt isolated here. I’m grateful for the few locals who were kind and considerate enough to help us, and ask how we were doing. But they were not many. We came here hoping it would be different.

This year has been incredibly hard. Brazil turned out to be a nightmare.

I sometimes wish it would have been the case that my spouse would have gotten into school in Argentina. Maybe things would have been a bit more easier. Smoother. But it did not happen that way. At the same time. Going back home is the only thing that makes sense now.

On top of that the level of pride and dismissiveness I’ve felt here, how they discriminate foreigners specially those coming from the Caribbean. How I had to fight to get medical care, basic medical care, and eventually need emergency surgery. It left me disappointed. Isolated. Afraid.