this Greenland shit is fucking insane. it’s fucking insane. the fact that anyone is humoring him is fucking insane. the biggest problem in the world today is that nobody is taking the president seriously for the fucking psychopath he is. this isn’t all some fucking joke

everyone needs to get more bisexual immediately

@newyorker.com hire me

Massachusetts Excellence

The cognitive dissonance required of some people in LA excitedly signing up for Olympics ticket opportunities must be staggering. For an event that may not but absolutely should not happen.

feeling down, going to watch the Boston Cop Slide video a few times before bed to feel better

I’ve never lived anywhere that wasn’t by a river, but my first was the Merrimack:

the democrats are right we should focus on kitchen table issues. for example there is a guy at my kitchen table who wants to shoot me in the face with a gun

surely not an original thought but why wasn’t it called Zoo2pia

Some friends are at the Golden Globes and I was just sent a selfie that immediately made me get up from my sofa and pace around the room for three minutes

I understand that it’s annoying for people from other nations to see posts from some Americans that say “please save/invade us!! 🥺” But we actually do need your help in a key area, economic sanctions. The first of which is permanently banning twitter.

floored by this shot

Protester: I like your MELT ICE sign Me: thanks… I’ve gotten a lot of use out of it…

This “journalist” keeps posting AI images without context and just assuming everyone will instinctively know they’re fake. Or just does not care.

The LA Metro Board agendas have been posted for next week’s committees and I have some fantastic news for everyone who wants to get from the Valley to the Westside in about ten minutes:

imagine watching this and not thinking that this is the whole goddamn reason to even *have* America

Feeling extremely bad this morning and assume that a lot of folks feel the same. Going to try to put as much kindness into the world as I can. And we’ll go from there.

abolish and prosecute ICE

I get the impulse to mark the anniversary, but I’m finding posts from neighbors and the city marking the one year anniversary of the fires rougher than expected. And I wasn’t even directly affected. Take care of yourself today, LA.

January should be illegal

I’m doing a friend’s makeup for the Golden Globes on Sunday and I have to make sure my face doesn’t betray me

I have been waiting for someone to so perfectly encapsulate why I hate self-censoring/euphemistic speech like “unaliving” and here it is:

A friend convinced me to get Finch and I immediately dressed that bird up like an extra on the cartoon version of Our Flag Means Death

4pm is too early to get sad about the weekend ending, but in fairness this might be the most Sunday-scarable day in years

Hey what the fuck is going on

My mom, recounting watching the Rose Parade on tv: and your mayor was there Me: Victor Gordo? Mom: yes, I was surprised he wasn’t wearing any rain gear Me: Victor Mojado

I love LA because we will be like “we have Times Square at home” and it’s just hundreds of people watching a billboard of smoking deaths reset to zero

here’s hoping 2026 is just one year

2025 is ending with the kind of rain that would have prevented the fires that 2025 started with.

not sure about this crossover

I got this lovely book for Christmas this year and it has a whole section on Gals Being Pals!

During the 2012 NH presidential primary RuPaul visited my hometown with little notice. The reason he gave the small crowd gathered semi-spontaneously outside the Red Arrow Diner was to say that “I am NOT Ron Paul.”

I had to go refill a prescription in person during my lunch break and the number of people maskless at the PHARMACY during FLU SEASON makes me lose what little hope I had that we learned even one thing from the pandemic.

Putting the finishing touches on an email with a proposal for my third tattoo 👀

Was just shown an ad for Gemini where the entire premise was two parents going back and forth generating videos about how to best gaslight their child after their teddy bear was left on a plane. Just straight up brainstorming lies while burning down the rainforest

not to be dramatic but I literally don’t think I’m the same person I was five weeks ago. #heatedrivalry #thankyoucanada

If you’re only getting one day off, Thursday is the worst one. I’m already in weekend mode 😔

they look like they just saw you from across the piano bar and like your vibe

Christmas Eve is the best time to discover which of my friends are Italian

When I was a kid at Christmas we used to get in the mail hallacas y pasteles from my great aunt in Puerto Rico. The next generation didn’t pick up the tradition and now I don’t know how to make them either. It’s a weird kind of grief to be more and more removed from your culture with age.

Beautiful art is actually quite common and that’s good. But to be able to make beautiful art on the scale and scope of a show like Pluribus is rare and I’m so happy my friends have been able to achieve that. I will be counting down the days to season 2!!

Year 1 data on congestion pricing in Manhattan… * Vehicle traffic: -11% * Foot traffic: +3.4% * Storefront vacancy: -0.9% * Pollution: -22% * Revenue for mass transit: $548M So YES this has been a huge success.

I love whatever is wrong with everyone on Taskmaster CoC4.

2025 has given us the worst of humanity and also sometimes the best

when you’re mad at me this is who you’re mad at

Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.

Last ten minutes of last week’s Heated Rivalry 🤝 Last ten minutes of this week’s Heated Rivalry me experiencing the entire spectrum of human emotion