Pretending to be dedd so I don’t have to talk to anyone

@bluenial.bsky.social fank you so much for our AMAZING crispmouse parcel! We are so excited to have proper passports & to be Geordies! Everyone loved the ginger biscuits including us & we did lots of cronching of goose treats & I hogged the toys but then Blossie stole the lion. Best frens 4 lyfe!

Yeah I’m not posing for your stupid crispmouse photo without treats

Every day I dance with death!

It’s a great day for martyrdom

Ahahahahha Derek DISGRACED himself this morning! We had a random greyhound encounter and Derek engaged in some highly inappropriate non consensual behaviour with the other hound. Who, to be fair did not seem to mind, but even so! It wasn’t me!

I have developed a condition called My Legs Fall Off In Sand. It’s very scary but somehow mum always manages to glue them back on and then I’m super excited to be not a helpless sandworm anymore

“Why is your horse upside down?” so rude

Hello our mum has been very slack. She feels bad! However she says she has been “going through some stuff”. Unacceptable. Hello to all our friends we have missed you!

One of us is making very bad smells

Double storey sulking

Erm help. There was a double murder. Apparently the squeaky toy was a live possum. And while its baby was pre-dedd even so one is not meant to saunter in wiv it between your jaws and dump it on your bed, says mum.

Very bad

Not getting up until she turns the rain off.

There is nothing more satisfying than chewing noisily while Blossie has to sit and seethe

Bit of a traffic jam on Scarborough Rd

I was absolutely not trying to steal another dog’s toy.

I was inspecting the greyt hole I dug on last nights walk and Derek peed in it!

I had a very important stick to dig up! Derek wishes he could.

New street mattress stack! No I’m not getting down!

We do not share your eagerness to get home mother

HELLO WE WOULD LIKE TO COME AND INSPECT YOUR PREMISES

Me being escorted away from Derek’s breakfast bowl

It’s fine! Derek: it is not fine

Mum got us our own street mattress stack!

I care not for your glorious sunrise

She KNOWS my legs don’t work if I’m wearing pyjamas I don’t know why she bothers to try to tell me they do.

Note to the local tradies: do not think you can hop out of your ute to admire Blossie’s pyjamas without me assuming you’re making room for me

Find your own stack of street mattresses Derek

The teens have found a new way to give mum a heart attack! One tomato sauce bottle left where Blossie could reach it later…

Taking hide n seek to a new l

When you see another two local dogs exchange some strong words wiv each other during their walkies and mum says “congrats guys! For once we aren’t the problem!” as the three of us walk smugly by #ProudEars

Happy #FlapsOutFriday from the future! Mum just had to pull a dangler out of my bum in full view of the public so I am preparing to be dedd from the mortification. Update: TWO danglers!

We are back and it’s winter! What did we miss frens? Mum says she’s been too busy to attend to our social media. Also, please send help, we have a couch demarcation dispute.

Reunited with my best fren

Smile if you dedded your teddy!

Your walk was boring. I’m out

Hugely exciting night last night - the Shit Fairy came! Mum says the Shit Fairy treads in poo and then comes to bed in the middle of the night to give his mummy a kiss and leaves little shitty footprints all over the bed as a present! Mum was so thrilled when she woke up in shit in the morning!

It’s my birthday ! Mum says I’m a big free-nager now yet I am still shackled on walks. Bit confusing but I got a cheeseburger!

Our paws are touching it’s a crisis send mergency help!

I got losted!

I am in SHACKLES due to an incident yesterday where me & my fren Ayla ripped our leads out of our mum’s hands & started doing zoomies & then Derek escaped too & we thundered down the main road & into the national park & got captured by joggers & perpwalked back to our mums & yeh Im in shackles now.

Best new tv show!

Things I don’t like: early starts. Walks in the dark. Walks in the rain. Walks in the dark in the rain. Shadows. Things I do like: making mum and Derek turn around and go home. Early breakfast.

New collar, same flaps. Happy #FlapsOutFriday to all who observe

Talk to the paw cos the flaps aren’t listening

Good morrow kind innkeeper. Do you have a spare room for two bedraggled travellers who have been cast out in the rain, all alone?

Sunday afternoon Cat Inspection = No Cats ✅

No conclusions are to be drawn from this

Someone got bitten by a shark at the beach down the road, Elder Teen is waiting for the cyclone to hit her but just got evacuated from her building due to a fire. Lucky for some, but for us the grind never ends. #FlapsOutFriday