Dr Harold News
@drharoldnews.bsky.social
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Fake news and topical satire from Dr Harold. Quoted by Reuters. FOLLOW for the latest Breaking News
BREAKING: Alan Shatter has spontaneously combusted after learning that Kneecapâs âFenianâ has gone straight to Number 1 in the Irish charts.
about 1 month ago
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Jennifer Carroll MacNeill says criticism of the National Childrenâs Hospital cost ignores the fact that it will feature a world-class bike shed.
about 1 month ago
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Shoppers urged to beware of online scams after one woman paid âŹ127K for a bike shed.
about 1 month ago
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MicheĂĄl Martin says early estimates suggest that constructing a nuclear power plant in Ireland would cost roughly the same as building two bike sheds.
about 1 month ago
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EXCLUSIVE: Sneak Peek at the Programme for Government
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: Clare Hotel Owner Announces Plan To Invade Greenland
over 1 year ago
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The face you make when Simon Harris asks if preparing to play The Penguin involved spending time with real penguins.
over 1 year ago
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Bono says the name 'Bono' is of Hebrew origin and means 'man who ignores injustice'.
over 1 year ago
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An Apology. Earlier today we caused some upset by claiming that Bono's US Presidential Medal of Freedom is for services to Israel and Tax Avoidance. We apologise to those affected. There was of course no excuse for failing to mention that the medal is also for being a Tory.
over 1 year ago
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Bono Awarded US Presidential Medal of Freedom for Services to Israel and Tax Avoidance
over 1 year ago
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FOR SALE: One Brennans Sliced Bread Loaf. Willing to swap for a 3-bedroom-apartment in Dublin.
over 1 year ago
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Bertie Ahern says his New Yearâs resolution is to support the environment by encouraging people to send him money via Revolut instead of giving him brown envelopes.
over 1 year ago
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Happy New Year to everyone from Cork! Thank you for laughing along and supporting this page over the past year. Hereâs to a more equal, caring, and peaceful world in 2025 â¤ď¸
over 1 year ago
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Bono says his New Year's resolution is to spend more time pretending to care about injustice.
over 1 year ago
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Ford's entire car stock in Ireland will be sold out by this time tomorrow.
over 1 year ago
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Eamon Ryan says if aliens visit Earth in 2025, he would not rule out the Green Party going into coalition with them.
over 1 year ago
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Great news - Star Trek wasn't wrong! I've just rewatched the episode and found the full quote.
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: RTĂ News Wins Israeli News Station of the Year
over 1 year ago
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"As a boy growing up in Finglas, I was beaten up every day by the local Orangemen, Your Majesty."
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: Newly surfaced photo of Queen Elizabeth with Kneecap threatens to cause uproar in Orange Order.
over 1 year ago
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Live scenes on Grafton Street as people wait for Bono to arrive:
over 1 year ago
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Bertie Ahern says when he was a child, instead of presents, Santa used leave brown envelopes under the Christmas tree.
over 1 year ago
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Many people are wondering about the exact time Bono will start his Christmas Eve busking on Grafton Street. While 8pm is the usual time, thereâs a chance he could begin earlier, so the safest option to avoid upset is to leave Dublin City Centre by 6pm.
over 1 year ago
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Dublin Airport confirms the queue outside Terminal 1 is actually for Dunnes Blanchardstown.
over 1 year ago
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Live scenes as Zionists react to Irish people proudly adopting 'Paddystinian' as a badge of honour:
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over 1 year ago
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Irish people react to Israelis calling us Paddystinians:
over 1 year ago
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This fake Dr Harold News picture has spread worldwide, with Reuters among the many whoâve made contact. For future reference, itâs easy to tell the photo isnât real. Just examine the picture closely, and youâll notice Robbie Keane is missing.
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: Israel Accuses Bosco Of Being Antisemitic
over 1 year ago
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STATEMENT: Sometimes in comedy you put a foot wrong. Earlier today we joked about Israel's embassy closing, which has upset many Israel supporters. Upon careful reflection, we fully stand by our tweets and will continue calling out Israel until they stop killing Palestinians.
over 1 year ago
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Bono Apologises To Netanyahu For Ireland's Actions Leading To Embassy Closure
over 1 year ago
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LIVE PICTURES of Irish people gathering in Dublin to mourn Israel closing their embassy.
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: Alan Shatter has spontaneously combusted after hearing that Israel are closing their Irish embassy.
over 1 year ago
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Irish People React To Israel Closing Dublin Embassy:
over 1 year ago
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Simon Harris receives plenty of criticism, and while I don't support him personally, I think it's important to acknowledge and recognise the significant contribution he has made over the last month to damage Fine Gael. For that, he deserves our thanks.
over 1 year ago
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Simon Harris says a red line for Fine Gael in any government formation talks is that FionnĂĄn Sheahan retains his position as Propaganda Minister
over 1 year ago
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"What do you mean it's too late to rejoin, Holly?"
over 1 year ago
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Iâm not a Green Party supporter, but their electoral wipeout should not be a cause for celebration. Remember, it's not just TDs who face losing their jobs. Thousands of Aer Lingus employees are sick with worry tonight that their airline might go bankrupt as a result.
over 1 year ago
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Incredible to think that after he's eliminated, Stephen Donnelly will be able to wake up tomorrow morning and wonât need to take responsibility for anything. So no change there.
over 1 year ago
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Very sad to see Alan Farrell lose his seat today. Despite suffering severe injuries in a 2015 car crash, for which he was suing for compensation, he displayed remarkable strength and resolve by climbing a ladder to personally hang his own posters - a true inspiration.
over 1 year ago
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Bertie Ahern says the mistake The Monk made was not telling CAB he won his money on the horses.
over 1 year ago
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When The Monk has been speaking for six hours straight, but you value your life too much to interrupt him:
over 1 year ago
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The Monk on his first day in the DĂĄil:
over 1 year ago
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Jennifer Carroll MacNeill says now that she's been elected, she will work hard to reduce energy costs. "Many of my constituents have been forced to lower the water temperature of their indoor swimming pools", she told reporters.
over 1 year ago
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Hundreds queue outside Easons to buy brown envelopes following projections Fianna FĂĄil will win most seats.
over 1 year ago
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Fianna FĂĄil will be hugely relieved to see GrĂĄinne Seoige not win a seat. She was one of their harshest critics.
over 1 year ago
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National Children's Hospital Builder Watching Reports That Stephen Donnelly Could Lose His Seat
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over 1 year ago
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Every Fine Gael and Fianna FĂĄil voter today:
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: Stephen Donnelly Quits Fianna FĂĄil To Establish New Political Party With Gerard Hutch
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: Ireland Loses General Election
over 1 year ago
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BREAKING: John McGahon Removed From Louth Polling Station For Punching Returning Officer
over 1 year ago
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