oh

me and boyfriend heheheheh

walking around like this LMFAO

IM WITH BOYFRIEND AGAIN YAYAYYAYAY

middle seat should be illegal i csntvsleep for shit

someone def pissed in the airplane bathroom sink

im so tired

im so anxious i just wanna get on my flight so i can ask if i can change seats closer to the front for my layover

side quest im escorting a lady through tsa who only speaks spanish

i forgot my apple pencil im gonna sob

leaving for the airport in the next 20 min send help im so nervous

my moms flight was canceled. she didnt think to tell me till i asked when she was coming home. shes not gonna drive me to the airport after she promised she would months im advance. fml

flight to see bf is tuesday im so excited and so nervous especially for my layover ugh

all i do is cry and feel bad because im not important. because im easily forgotten. because im not enough.

made dinner for my grandma and brother and set some laundry to wash/dry. im tired already good lord im so weak lol. i spent the day watching the cats cuz they kept getting into fights with eachother.

oh... ive been awake this whole time

i've only had like 600 cals today but i feel huge ugh

my resting heart rate has gone down significantly to the point im almost in the 50s when last month i was in the high 70s

my parents left the country with like 12 hours notice LMFAOOO guess whos alone taking care of her grandma!!!

the whiplash i just got going through those pics like "i need this back" then swiping to this 😭😭😭 i forgor i was literally dying for a sec

im gonna be sick i was so skinny early last year

bf got me a binder and its the first time ive seen my chest so flat omg i look like a boy im so happy

will it ever be the same

i dont think i was ready for a relationship and i dont think he was ready for one with someone who isn't ready

does your heart ever just give out emotionally and all of a sudden everything makes sense and you know exactly what your meant to be

its only 1pm i hate everything

im trying to get better at makeup

im so hungry its killing me

omad. i hate myself

todays (yes just todays) journaling. i have more to write too my hand hurts tho

i cant fucking do this anymore

kill me kill me oh my god i cant eat anything else today fuck fuck fuck

come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back

forgot that bf was joining vc with his friends today and not me as part of me getting used to not relying on him until i was all happy waiting to get home so i could talk to him and i open my phone to the message that hes with his friends. im gonna cry but i deserve it.

did my makeup

i happy with that

walking in merica

on a walk and oh

i wanna go on a walk

im not me whats wrong im not me

i wanna put a gvn to my head

im gonna throw up why am i such a horrible person

i hate everything i wish i was d34d

we are all gamblers, betting on tomorrow with no real way of knowing things will be better. well im not a betting man

the amnt of pages ive filled in this journal is insane for starting it less than 2 weeks ago

somethings wrong with me rn

lunch

i want my boyfriend to hold me i wanna be safe in his arms again

my heartrate is going crazy when i stand up again ik just being paranoid but i want my boyfriend i want his comfort but i cant cuz hell just get upset i dont wanna eat more but im scared idk

im scared i dont feel well i feel weird