ive cried like 4 times today i feel so horrible

feeling bad but slaying hard (not)

decorated my cd player finally

someone showed up to my little spot while i was outside to calm down and is taking a call i say down anyways lmfao

sitting in below freezing weather cuz otherwise ill have a panic attack core

oh shit wave of anxiety ok the verge of panic attack help

fit check

i have to oee so bad hep

wearing a bunch if layers of tights is funn and games until its all pushing ur stomach in

i miss my apple watch

i forgot my ring thag tracks my steps fuck fuck fuck

im wearing like 3 pairs of tights ad 2 socks i either look rlly cool or shit idk

in english class send help nervy

slaying

im so fat now good lord i need to lose weight

got complimented and stared at already first day back lmfao

fit check but i weigh more than i have in years cuz recovery (send help i look so fat)

im back in school again i don't think i said i was lmao im in class

i have a gray hair at 19 save me

i wanna cuddle with bf so baddd

cant sleep so i wake up early and get ready but my brother has to leave early so im not allowed to shower until he does but hes not even awake yet and its annoying me

was doing things (spicy) with bf when my mom knocked on my door with the cats food. someone kill me i think she knows

we got synced yk whats... its arriving in a few days... lord have merthy

stye on my eye send help

he somehow says IM out of his league like what

is this guy pretty ?

this pic of me looks like the dead wife in the movie flashbacks with the like nostalgic sad music in the background saying shit like "i wanna be together forever love"

been dealing with ana insomnia despite not restricting cuz im just not eating enough havent slept well in almost two weeks now ig my "reserves" ran out again 😭

the side eye is crazy if it stinks that bad dont follow me into the bathroom

i thrrw up a lil trying to practice a bj on my stand in... "boyfriend" on call wiyh him what if i sob. tbf bf was the one who insisted i try wven tho i told him purging ruined my gag reflex

sorry im not so interactive anymore guys ive been trying to recover from p much all my bad behavioursn so i dont scroll here often anymore

muhahahah i got my bf onto ouran

the amnt of time i had to soend stickintmy lashes together with my fingers to achieve this is insane

body tea

last night was so hard. lots of crying, im still so anxious even now. i feel like im going to have a panic attack. does he really think i'm doing nothing? that i sit around all day? that my inaction means i don't want him?

a broken calm eroded by time your words scraped raw as you begged me too, "claw" gently, however, i shook my head. soft as a birds first song, i hummed for peace, like a wilting flower begging the sun for mercy thanking the shade as its petals brown when all it really needed was rain

i cant do this anymore. I wanna commit one final selfish act.

duality of man

i wish life could just end sometimes

kitty

my mom went to sleep early instead of celebrating. i hatebit here

"i just need to stop eating so i can be loved again" i was journaling and that shit just spewed out of me... like straight from my heart to the page. im not doing well tonight.

It's so hollow. Watching through the glass.

for the first time in a month or two, im having urges. im trying so hard not to ruin his fun but being stuck behind a phone while he has fun across the world im holding back tears. i miss you.

i didnt get to spend new years and christmas and wont get new years with the one person who loves me unconditionally all because of my mom.

gettung clean from sh is genuinely thr best thing that ever hapened to me tho do i miss it sometimes? yes, but lord have mercy the way i was going i was gonna lose mobility in my arms 😭😭😭

i went insane when i was still shing and i sliced my stomach like on the lower curve of my stomach like 4 different times... now im fucked cuz the scars make my stomach look like its sticking outwhen its nottttt

my bf rlly got 200% returns on his investment in my tiddy (left before, right after/now)

"never let em know ur next move" sends unsolicited completely unrelated tiddy pic to bf in the middle of a normal conversation

writing a story about magical girls and super powers as a metaphor for addiction and unhealthy escapism and my bf was asking "what r u writing" so i told him and he said "oh so madoka magica" and i almost killed him right then and there