It’s the language warning that makes me laugh the most.

Oscar nominations? Wicked FG doesn’t even deserve to be in the same multiplex as One Battle After Another and Sinners. Editing it in my mind as I watch. I’ve always found the made-up words too precious by half. A word like “discoverates” takes me right out of a scene meant to be serious.

Gwen Verdon would have been a great Carrie Pipperidge.

If I had my London semester to do over, I’d absolutely make it a priority to fuck Ian McKellen.

There’s been more written about the fact that Julie Taymor’s assistant arranged Lion King house seats for Jeffrey Epstein than the fact that the President of the United States raped children.

This should have been the film version of Seesaw.

Without Catherine O’Hara as Vera, is Mame even worth reviving?

Richard Burton and Julie Andrews in Pacific Overtures

The outpouring of love for Catherine O’Hara is proof of a life well-lived.

Theatres screening Melania should give out one Epstein file with each full-price ticket purchased.

One can protest without being a savage.

“It is possible, dear - fer someone to hit you - hit you hard - and not hurt at all.” from Kiss Me, Carousel

If there are an Broadway shows that need a star for their evening performance, I’m in Times Square and off-book for all currently running shows. I can also provide my own costumes.

Perhaps not the point, but if seven agents can’t subdue one man without gunfire, they’re not very good at their job.

I’ve never wanted someone not to get a Tony nomination as much as I want Danny Stong not to get a Tony nomination for Chess. *I don’t know him, but I’m sure he’s a lovely person

ANNIE, a hit so big that the show title replaced the name of the theatre.

It feels good to call. Don’t be afraid. You’ll probably get an answering machine, and you can write out your message beforehand if it makes you feel more comfortable. Do it. It’s important.

If Jonas Gahr Støre, prime minister of Norway, is responsible for who wins the Nobel Peace Prize, was Nixon responsible for Follies losing Best Musical?

Two people with a dream.

I wasn’t there in 1984, but this is a great season.

Jonathan Bailey is going to be absolutely adorable singing that damn dog song. *The Day Off

Congress could end it all today. Call your representatives. Call again, and call again. Keep calling.

Happy New Year TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE! 🎉

Happy 98th Birthday to Show Boat!

Merry Christmas TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE! 🎄

Today marks the 17th anniversary of Me at Liza’s at the Palace (front row $25). What a special moment this was:

Gang, we are not watching the Kennedy Center Honors tonight. Watch a Rob Reiner movie instead.

Everyone’s still going to call it the Kennedy Center just like we still call the Emerson Colonial Theatre the Colonial even though we can safely assume Charles Wesley Emerson was nowhere near as big of an asshole as the other guy.

I hate that it’s always “Happy Hanukkah to all who celebrate” but simply “Merry Christmas.”

“Twelve days to Christmas, Twelve days to Christmas, Plenty of time to do your Christmas shopping…”

The problem with Jennifer Holliday in Dreamgirls is that once you’ve been fucked like that artistically no one else can satisfy.

I’m so glad he made it. I was terrified we’d have another Betty White situation.

Sending love and best wishes to Dick Van Dyke because tomorrow he’ll be 100 years old! 🥳

I feel like I’m going to be the first disappointing casting for Oh, Mary!

“It’s over now, the music of the night.”

Imagine young Ann Miller as A Star To Be, ripping off her skirt and belting NYC.

With David Corenswet as Billy Bigelow, imagine Jonathan Bailey as Jule Jordan.

If the RSC needs to close the gap "between the costs of running the organisation and its current ability to generate revenue,” shouldn’t they start with having only one artistic director?

What if Nunsense were Nunnsense? An order of nuns putting on a Trevor Nunn revue to raise money.

I’m glad the Arthur Miller estate is allowing the upcoming production of Death of a Salesmen to explore earlier drafts of the text because Arthur Miller only lived 56 years after the opening of the original production so didn’t get an opportunity to explore all his options.

The Winter Garden is large, but commercial questions aside, Joe Mantello is the best play director working today so wait and see.

On World AIDS Day, if Michael Bennett had lived to complete his work on Chess, we wouldn’t have to “fix” the book with an RFK Jr. joke.

I was probably the only kid on my college campus who had Tom Stoppard’s The Real Thing in his Walkman.

People are combining the public domain Peter Pan and the public domain Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, but when will the public domain Show Boat pick them up?

What did you get on Record Store Day? I got Goddard Lieberson’s two-record set of Follies. Also, the three record set of the Original Broadway Cast of Dreamgirls recorded live and complete.

The front row is a great place to sit if you want to see all of Patti LuPone in Working.

It’s a Christmas song.

I wish Florence Henderson were still around to do a Wicked/Wesson tie-in because everyone deserves the chance to fry.

I spend a lot of time thinking about 98-year-old Bernadette Peters playing Marie in a 2046 revival of Sunday in the Park with George.