Had dr appointment today. I have vertigo from all the sepsis. I've lost my bipap and have to try to get a sleep study to get it back. Insurance took it away. Will be getting treatment for lymphedema. It was a good visit. I practically live at various dr offices for now.

$1400 RENT DUE JUNE 1 URGENT Indigenous. Artist (lovely work, check out their shop links). Disabled. In & out of hospital. Any combo ppl x $ = $1400 keeps them/their family safely housed. Pls RS/QS. Pls do what you can. #HelpFolksLive2026

I think I'm in a depression. Everything that's happened this year has finally sent me over the edge. I just feel sad and angry. I just want to sleep. I can barely do anything on my own and it's frustrating.

Have rent due on 1st. Any sales or donations go towards that. 0/1400 needed. ❤️🤞🏾

Well I just decided to disappear from my socials and take a much needed break. Graduation really was so awful that I had to disassociate and recuperate. It's Wednesday already holy crap.

Graduation was a mess. The weather made them herd us all into the school. It was chaos. Fights broke out between parents, like physical fights, people were hurt, little kids were scared, some students didn't even get to walk.

My son graduates today. I would like to get him a nice dinner if I could. I just want to be able to do something for him today. If I made a few sales or got a donation that would be amazing.

My youngest is graduating high school tomorrow. My last baby. I'm so proud of him.

So many dr appointments to do now. Been on the phone all day just making appointments. Occupational and physical therapy, wound care, and trying to get in and see my primary care too. I'm tired already just thinking about it.

May Mutual Aid. Goes towards bills, medical, personal care, and June rent. If you want to just support a disabled Native artist share or donate. Also have my kofi where I sell my art. PayPal.me/kiagbear Cashapp $kiagbear Venmo kiagbear ko-fi.com/mahtheyzhawe...

Happy mothers day mom. I miss you.

I will block you if you hijack my posts.

All I want for mother's day is my electric paid and some extra to get me some new bookshelfs for my bead supplies. The one I've had is falling apart now and was one of those cloth ones. It was supposed to be temporary but it's been 4 years now 😂

My wheelchair got here today. It's a lot easier to manage than the one they sent me home with.

Was in the middle of redrawing designs for a custom order when I went to the hospital. Come back & I'm so lost on what I was doing I figured it out. Took me a good hour of staring at it. Also got orders lined up to get packed and shipped but that's going to be done tomorrow because I'm wiped out.

I made it to my work table today! Dont know how long I can stay at I but I was able to wheel my way in there somehow lol it's getting easier. Just wait, if I'm able to get a detachable motor for this thing I will be a menace.

Rent paid! Just need to get rest of electric bill and medical supplies.

Boosting need rent and bill money

Boosting need bill money

Boosting need rent and bill money

Boosting need bill money

I come home and I have a disconnect notice for my water. 48 hours from April 29th so that's probably tomorrow. Rent is due. Electric is due. Gas is past due too. I want to cry. They really should give grace to you if you've been in the hospital.

Going home tomorrow. Will have a lot of outpatient therapy and wound care to do. It's a lot to adjust to but necessary otherwise I'll end up losing my foot. So far its healing really good. The blood infection is gone, at least my labs say it's clear. They have taken really good care of me.

Got my ramp but now need rent. I'm still in hospital. Doing what I can while in treatment.

So starting week 2 being in hospital. Looks like I'll be able to get the wheelchair and some other things through insurance. However I need a ramp to even get into my house and that is not covered. They aren't cheap either.

First day of PT and OT done. I'm exhausted.

I'm gonna be in hospital probably until May. Any orders will be shipped when I get back home. I appreciate the support so much! Things have been a big crazy mess since yesterday afternoon but I think they figured out a way to get me some help. I do need usual help to get the rent done by first.

Oh yeah they expect me to pay all that tomorrow. Needless to say my dr was upset and was like no he'll keep me in the hospital for the next 2 weeks if he has to so I get my meds. It's all ridiculous right now. All I know is I don't want to die because my insurance didn't feel like paying something.

I can't afford to be in the hospital and I can't afford to go home. They want to send me home on an IV but they want me to pay almost $400 to do that. I need the meds or I'll probably die because I have an infection in my blood.

I'm doing better. However I've been told I'm not allowed to walk anymore and need a wheelchair until my wound heals. Still in hospital and need to rethink my whole life again.

I'm back in the hospital. Yay. 😭

For some reason beading these tiny soot sprite eyes is very relaxing.

Thank you! Got it taken care of. Now hopefully I get paid for that piece I made.

🎨🎨SHOP UPDATE🎨🎨 Just added 4 paintings to my shop. As always please share and help boost a disabled Native artist ❤️ ko-fi.com/mahtheyzhawe...

🎨🎨SHOP UPDATE🎨🎨 Just added 4 paintings to my shop. As always please share and help boost a disabled Native artist ❤️ ko-fi.com/mahtheyzhawe...

I have been painting for days. I got lost in the sauce. Literally have just been painting. I'll share what I've done tomorrow. Today I am resting or else I'm going to get sick and send myself into a flare up.

It's been 3 years today since my mom passed. Just trying to get through the day.

This is what I wrecked my shoulders over.

I think I went too hard yesterday. I got so hyperfocused on my painting that today I can't move my shoulders. It hurts 😭 totally worth it though.

I think I may paint today. One of my friends got me some good paint I had in my wishlist and I'm so excited! Haven't had good paint in so long 🎨🎨

All taken care of will delete posts and make a new one for next month later. Thank you all!!

Every time I make a sale, even small ones, it helps me stay motivated. I get really depressed when I think I'm doing all this and no one sees it. So the 3 sales I got this week really made me smile.

is it burnout... - if I'm regularly exhausted? - if I don't have time to fully finish a project in one sitting? - if I need to meet some sort of expectation beyond my current potential? - if I worry about exactly what time and day I post? or am I just tired?

💖💖SHOP UPDATE💖💖 Just added some beaded pins and bag charms to my shop. If you want to buy direct just message me. As always please share and help support a disabled Indigenous artist 🤞🏾🥰 ko-fi.com/mahtheyzhawe... #beadwork #NativeArtist #DisabledArtist #KoFiCreatives 1/3

I just posted some aceo cards in my shop. Here are a few of them. I have 10 all together. Go check them out in my ko-fi shop ko-fi.com/mahtheyzhawe...

I just posted some aceo cards in my shop. Here are a few of them. I have 10 all together. Go check them out in my ko-fi shop ko-fi.com/mahtheyzhawe...

I get so tired of scammers who try to prey on you just because you need help. I'm not stupid. I'm just disabled and poor. Fuck them.