who are the salvation army?

how to block ?

don’t beat a dead gift horse after leading it to water… or however the saying goes

believe it or not, a bowl of fruity pebbles is a meal

who is dewey decimal?

we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we’ve got to romanticize it

one man’s cringe is another man’s content

John 3:16 When you’re in the church, do you praise what you see He’s everywhere He is the I am oh-ohh-oh-oh-oh (praisin’ that)

me: i wonder if frankenmuth has a christkindlmarkt. they’d HAVE to, right? i’m pretty sure they’d have to tony: i’m pretty sure frankenmuth IS a christkindlmarkt

the lions coach gives strong “math teacher who also teaches sex ed” vibes

it’s so funny that part of the president’s job is every year on thanksgiving he gets a live bird sent to his house, and he has to make a speech about how he’s not going to eat that bird specifically. i could do that shit. put me in there

going on linkedin and just posting “does anyone here smoke weed”

she corning on my beef until i hash

yeah sorry i can’t come in today, i’m pretty colicky and need to be gently rocked :/

sending this to my friends when they can’t hang out

boiled 2 cups of water to get lied to in the vaguest way possible

The Way I Are is a beautiful song about love in the face of adversity

you might see me at the bar and think “wow she’s so beautiful and mysterious” but i’m playing zoombinis on my phone

me when This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) comes on at the function

holding space for a raclette from the christkindlmarkt

these are my tools, my confidants… meanwhile tony creates culinary marvels with practiced knife skills and tomato paste alone

there is a precise science to mozzarella sticks

hire a cheap ghostwriter off fiverr to write your smut novel, call that a bad romance

The idea that you *must* coexist with and listen to people who are cruel, unjust, and just plain unpleasant to be around is the logic of abusers, by the way

i have been taking methylphenidate since i was five years old and SSRIs since i was sixteen. if this actually happens, there is no tangible way i would be able to function like i do now. this is an actual nightmare

smokin on that shit that made mary oliver’s geese wild

who is Dean Transportation

ok im back

classically trained mezzo vocalist to daily weed smoker contralto pipeline

i am very invested in the politics of the neighborhood stray cats and if i had to, i could make a web of who is aligned with who and which tomcats are enemies

my first celebrity crush was flick from a bug’s life

finally joined. i’m so excited for the opportunity to overshare on another platform