Imagine half your schtick is making predictions and you end up ducking under a table.

Dress rehearsal for the Correspondents’ Dinner is going well.

HELP ME TURN DUST INTO HONEY-- Call this number, choose an option, and leave a message: 1-800-399-0159

HELP ME TURN DUST INTO HONEY-- Call this number, choose an option, and leave a message: 1-800-399-0159

Oh fun. I recently learned my name appears in the Epstein files because, in 2013, David Blaine requested house seats to my first Off-Broadway show for Woody Allen and a guest who turned out to be Jeffrey Epstein. Deeply ironic considering the name of that show: NOTHING TO HIDE.

Stephen Colbert announced that his last show airs May 21st. What a coincidence, that's National Cancel Paramount+ Day.

Neutrality in the face of fascism is fascist.

I never expected to write about my time rigging card games. Then I watched him get elected in 2016. I hinted at it with a post. When Kavanaugh was sworn in, I’d had enough. The book is set in the world of crooked poker, but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about what’s happening to all of us now.

I never expected to write about my time rigging card games. Then I watched him get elected in 2016. I hinted at it with a post. When Kavanaugh was sworn in, I’d had enough. The book is set in the world of crooked poker, but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about what’s happening to all of us now.

If you have MAX, you should watch this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRNN...

"Art means nothing if it simply decorates the dinner table of power which holds it hostage." --Adrienne Rich

Chuck Schumer knows what everyone else seems to have forgotten: the only way to beat fascism is to wear your glasses in the center of your nose. Not so low they fall off, not so high you actually see through them. That way, regardless of what happens, you’re ready to claim you did or didn’t see it.

Every Poll: “50% of Americans Support Nationwide Human Centipede Integration; Other 50% Deeply Concerned About Their Position in Line.”

Democrats lack both a story and a teller. “The fascists are coming” is not a North Star. Without a clear and emotional vision, and a leader to embody it, they will remain lost. Politics is storytelling. The best story wins.

Not my most eloquent letter, but utterly sincere....

At least the people who first allowed the Nazis to rise to power could honestly claim they didn’t know how bad things would get.

Weird to live behind enemy lines.

Man with Gun: Get on the train. Democrat: Technically it’s *in* the train.

These men are cowards. All of them. Never forget that.

If you haven’t seen In & Of Itself, and don’t have Hulu, you can watch it here: youtu.be/OR4NNuNE3Yg?...

Guess we're allowed to punch people doing that "My Heart Goes out" salute, too.

If you can’t hide the secret, feature it. Need to steal a coin from your pocket? Dipping in looks suspicious. So make it deliberate. Reach in openly, emerge holding a handkerchief. All eyes are on the cloth; no one sees the coin now in your palm. You can steal anything this way. Even a government.

A hearty preemptive *fuck you* to those just following orders.

They will absolutely put people on trains and send them to camps. We all get that? Right?

The real horror is seeing no one do anything.

Updated list of political leaders that seized control of artistic institutions: Adolf Hitler Joseph Stalin Benito Mussolini Francisco Franco Mao Zedong Pol Pot Kim Il-sung Nicolae Ceaușescu Saddam Hussein Muammar Gaddafi Idi Amin Donald Trump www.washingtonpost.com/entertainmen...

Our shrugs will be the end of us.

A coup can seize half the government before the resistance can put on its boots.

Nazis will always try to make it okay to be a nazi. It’s our job to make sure they know it’s not.

The subjectivity of truth is the crisis of our time.

None of this seems better than just letting a woman be President.

All the people who could stop it work for the people doing it. So now what?

Mood.

My barber grew up in Moscow, immigrated to NYC legally three years ago. He said ICE agents are knocking on his friends doors, lying about why they are there, then hauling people away. He said “The way the police are acting… it’s starting to feel like Russia.”

The feelings evoked by this place are real, but the place itself is not.

Uhhh, hi! It's me, Bookshop.org, a place to buy books online where every purchase financially supports indie bookstores instead of some billionaire.

AI is fracking. We are the wells.

Was once asked to perform for billionaires at a black tie event. After dinner we led the group down a canyon to chairs arranged in an old horse stable. Once all were seated, I got into a car that had been waiting with my friend and left. Was later told, guests were confused and host was not pleased.

Beware straight lines. Smiles are curved for a reason.

When robbing the bank of attention, wise thieves stand in line with the other customers. They move with the rhythm of the room, shifting smiles to neutral, coasting with a foot over the break. Learn from them. Bury your sins in the cadence of everyday life. Travel at the speed of innocence.

Surround yourself with people who know things you can’t google.