Eleven years ago, CPA and I took a stroll through the park, went on the swings and even jumped in with a softball team that was practicing. It was lovely.

Magistrate J’Oeshoes needs a booking.

The tanking Pens! #LetsGoPens

The finger thing means the taxes!

Woke up thinking about the crippling social anxiety I would get at 10 years old if I needed to get up during class to grab a tissue from the community box. #ShoesClues

Orlando Bloom looks like he’s had a very hard life in these cruise commercials.

I like my sex how I like my basketball: 1 on 1 with as little dribbling as possible.

Another season of #Jets football is the best excuse to stay green with some Lime @drinkgaragebeer.bsky.social! May all your wagers provide a wonderful bounty today! #MajorGarageBeer

“Nice catch, Hayes, don’t ever fucking do it again.”

“Well, do you know what I think? I think in the next four games you’ll probably put enough money in these guys’ pockets to cover this. So fuck this bullshit!” With that, Johnson ripped the bill in half, crumpled it up, and threw it into a nearby garbage can. The room exploded. RIP Davey. #Mets

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I was swimming in raw sewage. I love it.

If he’s dead on a holiday weekend, there’s gonna be a population boom 9 months from now.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so prepared for anything as I was when I got a text asking, “was there an episode of Saved By The Bell with a blind girl?” There sure was.

Mets All Time #21 Power Rankings: 1. Cleon Jones 2 Carlos Delgado 3.JONAH TONG 4. Lucas Duda 5. Kevin Elster 6. Max Scherzer 7. Masato Yoshii 8. Bill Pulsipher 9. Warren Spahn 10. Rich Hill

Anatomy of a Mets game. Starring me and Brian Myers.

Me (all year): Get rid of Marte, he’s completely washed. Me (just now): I will die for Starling Marte.

Celebrate the people you miss with something they would love. Today, that means @whitecastle1921.bsky.social.

I just really wish I could call my mom and bribe her with a visit if she agrees to make me chicken cutlets. Which would then lead to hearing my dad screaming in the background that she never makes chicken cutlets for him and he hates having to depend on me to get them.

Haven’t used this one in a while.

If we’re going to question age, we should really be focused on the fact that Nolan McLean is a rookie who looks like your dad’s friend who comes over to change the timing belt in your family car while crushing a few beers and smoking a dart. #Mets

I absolutely disdain religion, but I have zero issue with compromising personal beliefs to try anything to help the Mets.

I think we’re all old enough to admit that Chex is an incredibly underrated cereal.

I’m in a foreign country, relaxing with the Mets on during vacation and I want to stab someone with this dessert churro that came with dinner.

Traditional Colombian cuisine. 🇨🇴

Bienvenidos a Panama 🇵🇦

Going out tonight. Gonna wear loose clothes so they don’t restrict my diaphragm. #ShoesClues

We’re posting Roger Rabbit so here’s a pic from MGM Studios in 1990. For years it was the only pic of me my parents kept up in their house while there was a dozen of my brother. My mom claims that wasn’t on purpose and it was just pictures she liked. My mom was full of shit.

Get wet with me and Shotzi and stay cool all summer with some ice cold Garage Beer!

Gare: The Mets have now been no-hit for 9 consecutive innings. Me: 💀 🔫

His name in GONE IN 60 SECONDS is Memphis Raines. Fucking Memphis Raines. That’s how you do movies, man.

I love Manaea, but this is a real Montas inning.

This came on and it’s a bop. Get your week moving. youtu.be/Yq2jJLswL8I?...

Sent the daughter I just found out about a gift card to Panera for all the birthdays I’ve missed and today, she sent me a photo of her enjoying a panini. Dad stuff is easy when your kid is a self-sustaining adult and knows to wear headphones in public spaces. #ShoesClues

Big day for @pixeldan.bsky.social! Please @ him for every comment you have about whether or not you want to fund the Snake Lair today!

Hey #Twins fans,

I’ve spent the past 20 mins sitting here reminiscing over these hotel waffles Kanik and I had a few months back. God, those were incredible waffles. #ShoesClues

No matter what does or does not happen today at least we can’t say it’s because the office wasn’t trying. It’s Stearns Season. #LGM

Christmas 1990: my dad bought my brother and I our first real baseball gloves. Mine was a Wilson Kirk Gibson model, my brother had a Rawlings Ryne Sandberg. I kept both those gloves in my bag until my mom sold the house in Queens & finally got rid of them. RIP Ryno.

All hail Pablo Sanchez, this year’s winning streak overlord and pagan deity! #LGM

It is very fair to call a racist a racist even if he was super cool when you were a child multiple decades ago.

Matt and Trey must be feeling REALLY secure that the new contract is airtight! #SouthPark

Here’s my Ozzy story: I’ve known my friend Eric from as far back as I can remember. Our moms were best friends and our families always did stuff together. We bonded mostly over music and movies. I first heard of Ozzy because of him in the early 90s.

🦇👑🦇

Nothing says “postseason or bust” like 3 innings from your ace before handing the ball to whoever the fuck Kevin Herget is. #Mets

Theo just wanted to be regular people. RIP.

I would argue that we’ve already retired 4-5 numbers too many and that, if we’re being honest, Carlos Beltran is the most deserving of those who haven’t been. #Mets

Muppets From Space is so removed from where society was in 1999 that I’m shocked it got made in the first place, but completely understand why it flopped at the box office. Such an interesting flick for the time. boxd.it/8dvy3

Da-vid Wright! When there’s trouble, you call DW!

I understand my built-in bias, but SNY’s The Wright Way doc is absolutely fantastic and may be the best single-player retrospective I’ve ever seen. Perfect start to finish. Five star rating for #5. boxd.it/8dvy3