No matter how many times I watch Lord of the Rings, I cannot remember wtf happened in it.

He looks like something you unexpectedly sneeze

I’m trying to break out of the habit of eating because my mouth is lonely

I knew kids dropping acid and snorting cocaine before I even got to high school

May is Mental Health Awareness Month?

I didn’t realize until now that I don’t like documentaries with a lot of reenactment

Nope! And I set my back up alarm without my glasses on and set it for 8:45 instead of 6:45.

They closed his wound with paper clips

Ear pulled in like a corset my goodness. They did his surgery with kiddie scissors.

If you don’t get this reference you’re too young to be dating any cougars or uncs.

Book club this afternoon at 3pm ET! www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljCI...

Why the hell would I want this

There’s something like 23,000 homeless children in NYC and rich people are crying, shaking, throwing up because they’re gonna be taxed for their SECOND $5M+ home.

This is incredibly sad

This actually pissed me off. I hate Carrie.

Scrolling through nail colors as if I’m not trying to decide which shade of white

I feel like gin drinkers openly like fist fights and vodka drinkers like open hand slaps

I’m hit! (Manhattan with extra cherries, please.)

I just suddenly missed Jamaica so bad. I need to pay my daddy a visit. It’s been almost 3 years.

Anaconda (2025) is really fun

The people who try to get around stopped school buses make me want to actually start shooting a gun

I thought it was a French braid but this makes sense

(Derogatory) 😂😂😂

I’ve only fed one of my children… maybe the other one will fall asleep before he notices…

Might drink a Cutwater tiki rum thing and go read in bed

like it is 2002 and BIA BIAAAA just came on in the club

Mya’s new album is something I’d throw on for a Costco run (complimentary)

Girl breakfast but it’s just 3 antidepressants

Why is everybody talking about Drake

Every time!

I’m watching this Punisher special and this chaos and violence in “Little Sicily” is what conservatives think NYC is really like

Join us!

😂😂😂 I grew up calling one grandmother Aunty and the other Mommy (Last Name) lol I only called my great-grandmother Grandma

Meth comes in pill form???

Gnocchi for breakfast because I do what I want

This part! Target should’ve taken a survey or something!

Stay online and take it easy, unless I’m the kind of sick where I need to sleep all day. I never really get sick though, beyond an occasional cold.

I forgot the Punisher special was tonight. I’ll watch tomorrow after my 9:30am nap 😂

Without a doubt.

Yup. I’m waiting too.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

Depends on the habit. If I hate it, I’m out.

Jesus on the third day:

Looking back on FB memories, whenever I posted updates about my babies’ likes and dislikes, I was documenting their autism the whole time 😂 I just didn’t know!

I know, because I tried!

Hope you all had a great Mother’s Day! Join us tonight at 9PM ET to talk about bad ass kids! www.youtube.com/watch?v=--7s...

Cash please

I just imagined this being on the itinerary and screamed.

The thing about these rich people crying about the pied-a-terre tax in NYC is that you literally don’t need a $5m second home, so I’m never gonna feel bad for you lol. Having a 2nd home at all is a luxury, especially here. Yours is $5m+ shut up and pay.