I care enough to want to acknowledge it, but not enough to make big plans.

I wear tights with open toe shoes

lol I mix brands constantly. I couldn’t care less.

I’m having a cutwater espresso martini with lunch today because it’s a holiday and I have to work

Whan an embarrassing government we have.

Every time I see this, I can’t believe it’s a real thing that happened.

Omg am I ableist??? 😭

Gotta put AirTags on them things or you’ll never remember where you left them

Omggggg! Its like they knew each other before they both made it to earth 🥹😂😭

Potatoes are more versatile but I think I’d miss rice more

When you have to do all that, just delete his number and move on.

I just don’t get it

I can’t stop thinking about the cranberry Wensleydale cheese I had over Christmas break

My 4 year old sometimes gives off evil genius vibes and I gotta make sure I guide him to lean more Tony Stark than Victor von Doom.

I ordered a martini at my son’s play restaurant and he substituted it with an omelette.

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨

This is HILARIOUS 😭

I just got even angrier because my coworker just told me about these

Kinda thought my hometown would be on there, and it wasn’t, but the neighboring towns are.

See? Why do we need protein Doritos!

I’m a little tired of extra protein in everything. I was buying Lactaid milk, and I saw protein Lactaid milk. Do we really need to do that?

Today in: You Don’t Want That To Show Up In Discovery Please stop texting personal and/or offensive things from your work phones. One day, a team of attorneys will read those texts. It will be embarrassing for you.

Me to my fupa:

I haven’t had a microwave since Sunday, and I gotta say it’s been pretty trash.

Oh hey! 👋🏾

Subscribed! Been looking for a good podcast to break down the show. #DemKnights

I’m nearing the end of recording my first romance novel and I had a lot of fun with it. I loved the mess. I might actually start reading romance after this.

My aunt’s repast had a DJ and my husband told me that’s not normal 🤣🇯🇲

There was an ICE ad???

I yelled “RICKYYYYYYY!!!”

I’m so glad A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms dropped Friday. I’m going to bed. I’m probably not gonna watch the last two eps live. It’s just too late for me lol.

Benito Bowl!

See you soon! 👇🏾

Whoa whoa whoa ✋🏾🤚🏾 I gotta back in!

Me too! And I still haven’t tried it. I want to eat it off of fine china 🤣

I made a s’more pie with my son today 🤗 Graham cracker crust Brownie mix Marshmallows Got to break out my torch that I haven’t used in ages

Tomorrow! Watch here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATrY...

My son keeps unplugging his iPad and then crying because it’s dead 😑

I want a Medusa tattoo and I wonder if I should just cover some of my current back tattoo with a Medusa instead of tattooing another spot.

120 minutes of penetration, I’m just gonna take my pussy off and let you have at it while I go do something else.

My son is really upset that we’re not going to the Met today, because he’s been looking forward to it all week. But it’s like -10° and we’re not standing at a bus stop in that.

After three failing glitchy ass bummy ass fire sticks, I’ve gotten my kids a Roku.

Lmao

My husband refused. I think he should’ve looked.

I haven’t eaten breakfast yet and I just made Dino nuggets for my son for lunch, and they’re smelling kinda good…

My god that is a horrible way to go

Republicans trying hard to embrace Kid Rock because their favorite musicians keep rejecting them

Why does he have a career

See also: “but I digress”

“In lieu of Black History Month…” Y’all don’t look up words before you use them?