a service wide outage a week keeps the legally binding SLA away

ai generated code and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

i had to explain to my cishetnormal coworker today why i can’t eat grapefruit

don’t shy away from a 4 year PhD. these 5 years will be the best 9 years of your life

>at work summit >doing hackerthon for work >my github account is suspended for forking the repo thanks, github.

yeah so apparently i meow in my sleep. kittymoded too hard 😭

hey guys quick pro tip: when you send an invoice, make sure to include where to send the payment!

i hate having dissociative amnesia 😭 someone just waved to me and started a convo w me and stuff and we had a good convo but i have absolutely no fucking idea who they are so uh, if that person that just stopped me by the elevators sees this: sorry i was quiet i was trying to figure who you are 😭

dear university professors, can we stop the trend of using random programming languages with minimal online documentation outside of academic research papers and barely supported compilers to teach basic logical propositions? like be fucking fr rn, why??

i love testing in prod, nothing ever goes wrong. unrelated, i would like to both apologise to my partner for making 5 new playlists appear on their tidal account, as well as thank them for letting me do random shit like this :D (sorry)

who woulda thought that reverse engineering the spotify blend algorithm and then reimplementing it in tidal wouldn't be a straight forward process.................. anyway i am 90% done with this yes it'll be open source and also hosted on my website.

ya girlie has a proper job now as a scientific researcher at an ai lab in amsterdam :3

chat, we’re gonna nuke an asteroid NE2024YR4 has a 4% chance to hit the moon, which would surround earth in a debris field and thus fuck up future space flight for potentially decades, so they are gonna fucking nuke it 2029-2031 ish (probably). i love science lol ntrs.nasa.gov/api/citation...

idea: subscription bed service. if you cancel your subscription it has a 1/10 chance to just fucking crush and kill you in the night

IEEE WHY ARE U RETURNING 418 GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lecturer is screensharing his computer screen rn desktop contains: "[]\'dfsz .tar.gz", "\c vbx", and "Old Firefox Data", his taskbar contains literally over 50 icons, 40 open programs, including but not limited to, skype and roblox he has vscode open but is programming using nano in a terminal

i would like to make it *fucking illegal* for developers to not count "/api/path/thing" and "/api/path/thing/" as the same. that took way too long to figure out why i was 404ing

found out spotify runs ICE recruitment ads and is defending it amid backlash. moved to tidal and cancelled my subscription. only issue is that a load of jpop are songs missing, which is basically the main genre i listen to 😭 is this an importing issue or does tidal just not have that much jpop?

>has paid apple tv account >tires to pirate apple tv show on two different websites before i remember i can watch it legally i did this yesterday with disney too 💀

outlook is such a shit piece of software. i just received a notification on my phone for an email - i open outlook to read it, the email is no where to be found. it’s just straight up not there. thanks, i didn’t want to read my emails anyway.

i'm so glad that for my masters degree we are learning a theoretical modelling language that literally only has documentation in lecture slides and research papers focused on that language, rather than, literally fucking anything else.

>in lecture for database course lecturer: "hmmm... we need an example... lets say gender... it's a very old school example... it doesn't work today.... but lets just assume we are old school... we're boomers.... so for gender we have male and female, yes i know that's wrong" i love him

i’m having a magic attack

if money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

>first day in office at new job >sushi is ordered in for everyone >yummy >weird cucumber thing i haven't seen before >i try it >it was all fucking wasabi >literally everything, pure wasabi >i nearly fucking throw up yeah my first day is going great incase anyone was wondering

i fucking hate you. if you open an issue on github you better give the solution on github. don't tell me to go to ur discord. give me the answer on your issues page. and IF you tell me the answer is on discord, PROVIDE A MESSAGE LINK AND SERVER INVITE!!

dear past me: fuck you!! this code is awful

studying theoretical computer science will result in one of the following situations, in all cases: 1. here's 5 pages of complex math notation for what can be described in 1 written word sentence very easily. OR 2. here's 5 pages of written words for what can be described in 1 line of math notation

HOW IS AWS DOWN AS WELL LMFAO WHAT

hey microsoft, buddy, how's 30% of your code being written by AI going? oh? you took down prod? >_< all of azure is dead ?? >_< uh oh!!! the latest windows 11 update also broke recovery mode :O ? oh no........ if only you hadn't laid off thousands of your engineers........ 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

the step between a bachelors degree and a masters degree is so fucking funny because what do you mean this is such a niche and specalised concept that the only help on the entire fucking internet for this was written by my lecturers 😭😭😭

my exam revision literally involves modelling girls kissing i can't make this shit up this is my actual, university provided, exam revision.

i love advanced theoretical mathematics i am so glad this is what my degree is in i have absolutely zero regrets about choosing this path i was born to deploy kubernetes clusters...............

epsilon frequent this, epsilon frequent that, streaming algorithm this, streaming algorithm that............... computers were a fucking mistake.

it should be illegal to run university modules that are 90% closed-book exam. especially when that module is about computer algorithms. like sorry but in what world am i *ever* going to need to recite this off the top of my head with zero access to the internet, or at the very least documentation?!

i'm out here completing side quests (this is my apartment housing chat)

i will be spending one of my pay cheques on a full size battle ready scythe with appropriate decals to match my freak

time is a myth made up by big clocks to sell you more hands

it has just dawned on me that me having my xm4 headphones either covering my ears or around my neck is a large part of how people perceive me as i constantly have them 😭

update : the ceo responded to my email saying “oops, should work now”. i have lost a couple days of data, but i managed to get an export onto my new selfhosted wakapi instance no explanation on how it happened, just “oops, should work now” and an email signature.

WARNING TO DEVELOPERS: Do not use Wakatime! They just deleted my account with over 700h+ logged that I have been using for *years*. Entirely gone. API keys gone, data gone, email deregistered, everything. hey have a bug that deleted my entire account. I used this for invoicing and getting paid.

applications should not have the ability to block my pc from shutting down or rebooting while they are open

nooooooo 😭 safari just deleted all of my open tabs on my phone 😭 i had a shit tonne of things i was saving for like the past year 😭 man. i hate computers.

EXCLUSIVE: An inside look into how Canvas (by Instructure) developers work to deliever the worst user interface humanly possible, used by millions of students worldwide.

after enlisting the help of others, and together spending 40 minutes to find out how to enable the "New Message" button on *MY EMAIL CLIENT* (which was hidden behind four very poorly labeled sub menus) i have come to the conclusion that *ALL* developers should have to take a mandatory UI/UX course.

dpd, are you fucking kidding me? what part of "DO NOT BEND" label means "bend and shove into small letterbox, rather than the designated parcel delievery area that every other parcel, including another you delievered on the same day, is left at"? don't fucking bother delievering next time.

i have been listening to all of my lecturers videos on 1.5x speed and hearing him talk normally jump scares me as it sounds like he's incredibly drunk and slurring his words

pleased to announce that while updating my pc's bluetooth drivers to fix bt connectivity, that i did it in such a wrong way that the dongle i am using now fucks with my pc's boot due to usb reader errors, my kde taskbar and background are *gone*, and that bluetooth is still broken. i use arch btw

mfw i'm bored rn and want to watch that one tv show that i have been obsessively watching for the past few weeks but i have completely forgotten the name, what it's about, where i was watching it, etc and so now i'm just 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ idek if it was an anime or a tv show i'm going insane

found a way to increase my SAT solvers performance by ~500x by adding 3 lines of code. it now takes seconds instead of hours. those 3 lines of code are reassigning a const's value. thank you for coming to my ted talk. i will be taking no questions