Secretary Real World is doing damage control after Dear Leader threatened all the overworked air traffic controllers who’ve been working without pay with a motivational video. I’ve seen happier people in proof of life clips.

“Have them ask my houseman about Donald almost walking through a door and leaving his nose print on the glass as young women were swimming in the pool and he was so focused he walked straight into the door” - Epstein email to a NYTimes reporter 12/8/2015

As bits of the Epstein files come out it’s important to note that Trump gave Ghislaine new digs and special privileges including: -personalized catered meals -private workout time -unmonitored access to electronic communications -a puppy!

There is no such mall in Chicago. Obama, nor any other president, receive royalties for legislation they pass. Grocery prices are up. He’s totally lost his grip on reality.

In what comes as a shock to no one, newly released emails repeatedly mention Trump and indicate he had knowledge and was alone with multiple victims.

This regime isn’t interested in making decisions based on merit, only in rolling things back to the days of the boys club.

To show how much they care about those who serve, members of Dear Leader’s regime are evicting military brass from their homes to take up residence there themselves. Or to hide from the people, especially Cosplay Noem and her extramarital paramour, BoyToy Cory.

The Dutch government has filed a protest with the US ambassador after plaques honoring black soldiers were removed from an American cemetery in that nation, calling it “indecent and unacceptable.” Happy Veterans Day!

“We’re goin to be hitting 1.5% inflation soon. Food prices are way down. You’re gunna see $2 gasoline. Very soon.” None of that is true. Unless the economy crashes…

“Is there more that can be done by republicans to address the issue of inflation?” “More money anything else, it’s a con job by the Democrats. Are you ready? Costs are way down!”

“Is a 50 year mortgage even a good idea?” “It’s not a big deal. You go from 40 years to 50.” “30”

“401k’s are double what they were a year ago.” *checks balance* No, they’re not.

“You can’t imitate gold, this isn’t Home Depot stuff.” Narrator: it was Home Depot stuff.

“Nobody knows what a magnet is.” -Deep Thoughts with Dear Leader

Lil’ Jonny Braun, a buddy of Jared’s, had his money laundering and drug trafficking convictions commuted by Dear Leader. This week he was sentenced for sexually assaulting his nanny, physically attacking a nurse and a congregant at his synagogue. 🤷‍♂️

Right Wing media is abuzz about NYFD Commissioner Tucker’s resignation after Mamdani’s victory. Tucker had been on the job barely a year and had zero firefighting experience but eight of his business partners did make contributions to Mayor Adams just before he was appointed…

“They say Republicans are weaponizing hunger.” “Absolutely absurd. Remember, don’t get lost in the facts.” umm, ok… 🧐

Dear Leader is resorting to threatening air traffic controllers. Because purging and driving away highly skilled professionals never has negative consequences… 🙄

“The $2k dividend could come in lots of forms. It could be just the tax decreases the we are seeing in the President’s agenda.” -Secretary of Oligarchs Bessent Translation: no one is getting anything.

A Blaze reporter* made a huge splash claiming to have uncovered the identity of the J6 pipe bomber and pointed to a plot led by law enforcement. Then his lawyers explained libel. *failed musician turned conspiracy grifter.

Right wing media is spinning off into high pearl clutching mode, claiming Mamdani’s election will lead to sharia law and women wearing burkas. Meanwhile, Mamdani’s wife…

If you’re going to start an affair with a newly widowed lady, it’s best not to use the same makeup artist.

Several states are taking action to help feed their people. The USDA just threatened any state that funds SNAP with retribution. Meanwhile, this is what Dear Leader is posting.

To ensure our nation is safe, this week Dear Leader has: - pardoned a former NYPD officer convicted of working as a Chinese espionage operative. - released a Russian agent who plead guilty to providing false information to the FBI.

I’m sure those tariff refunds will be in the mail right after everyone gets those doge rebates. 🤪🤪🤪

Cosplay Noem tried to purchase 10 737’s from perennially bankrupt Spirit to deport immigrants despite experts warning it would be more expensive. Except Spirit didn’t actually own the planes. And didn’t have engines.

“People say that they’re struggling with the cost of living, what could you do about that?” “Well, let me just say that cashless bail is a disaster. It’s gotta be changed.”

This sounds like the intro for an informercial for all the junk policies that existed before Obamacare and left so many broke and without effective coverage.

“You sound very frustrated by last night’s election.” “Thank you very much.”

Proving yet again what a demure and humble man he is, Dear Leader is demanding the new stadium in DC be named after him. And why doesn’t he know how to blend?

“What happens is there is hysteria over some of these things. Folks are overreacting to these things -a reaction that isn’t justified.” -Temu Wilson Fisk attempting to amplify Dear Leader’s claim that there is no inflation and everyone needs to stop whining. 🙄

Dear Leader is demanding SCOTUS block the lower courts from forcing him to feed starving kids by 9:30 est

“But who pays the tariffs?” - Chief Justice Roberts “*mumble, mumble* americans *dissembles*” -Trump Solicitor Sauer, who then proceeds to invoke a letter by Madison to support his case but overlooks the passage defining them as taxes on consumers.

The FBI is warning of kidnappings and thefts by people posing as ICE-stapo. Because who wouldn’t have seen that coming when you unleash an untrained hoard of masked mercenaries in unmarked cars to terrorize the people.

“Our estimate is that Americans will lose 135 billion pounds by the midterms.” “Dr” Oz claiming glp-1’s will lead to every American losing… *checks calculator* …394 pounds by next fall.

Days after Keystone Krash was caught red handed using FBI planes for personal use, and firing the official responsible for the fleet because reasons, he has been caught yet again jetting around to see his much younger, and definitely not a mossad agent, girlfriend in Nashville.

Remember My Lai? The Challenger explosion? W reading The Pet Goat? Chamberlain waving a piece of paper? Now we have, President in Standby Mode.

After gutting various cybersecurity offices and firing experienced employees, Dear Leader restarted the programs from scratch, staffed with his usual level of competence. As evidenced by the CBO getting hacked by foreign agents today.

After failing to get a felony indictment, Judge Pinot Grigio charged the DC Sandwich Guy with a misdemeanor. A jury just acquitted him. So, she’s been defeated by a ham sandwich.

Did the pharma exec pass out from contemplating lower profits or did he stand too close to Dear Leader and caught too much of a whiff? Depends.

“For generations, Miami has been a haven for those fleeing communist tyranny in South Africa.” Dear Leader is glitching again.

Pelosi retires! No, she doesn’t drink. Yes, her husband was wealthy long before she was in Congress. No, Newsom is not her nephew. Yes, that’s how a drag queen claps condescendingly. Thanks for your service.

Sounds too good to be true? That’s because they dropped the number of items from 21 to 15 and switched many from name brand to store. But you know who will fall for it…

I wonder if they shared makeup tips in the girl’s bathroom? 🫣

We had to start labeling things when my grandmother got lost wandering around the house. And if it looks like a paper sign stuck on the wall that’s because it is. 😆

Oh, the caucasity! *clutches pearls*

Narrator: SNAP surged under Trump with it peaking under his last budget during pandemic. SNAP spending dropped every year Joe was in office due to a growing economy and were never just “handed out.”

The nice maga lady who tried to derail Jay Jones’s campaign for VA attorney general with a highly edited leak of their intimate texts lost her race for re-election as Delegate. Jay won. 🤷‍♂️

Governor Hot Wheels is threatening to seize all the property of New Yorkers moving to Texas. Ignoring the performative ridiculousness and questionable legality, wouldn’t it be maga voters moving? 😆

America’s Mayor! 🇺🇸