Looks like the face sag is back, baby!

I know! Lil’ JD is the creepy kid in school who used to eat paste and spent way too much time hanging around the bathrooms all grown up!

And Iran… Iran so far away…

“Women on base, you better be careful. Port calls, women in Asia, you better be careful. Because these guys are going to be wild animals.” That’s a bold move, Jesse, coming out as pro SA…

It’s a cult…

Lil’ JD is under scrutiny after trying use a Marine helicopter to ferry his preteen child to… …a golf lesson.

To the surprise of no one… …expert review of the damaged reflecting pool has determined the application process to have been flawed. 🤣

“Most people don’t know that dumb has a B.” No, it’s just you and it’s wild that you’re trying this feats of mediocrity yet again.

Ladies and gentlemen, Plastered Pete Hagueseth. 🍸

“Democrat administrations believe they are above the law.” Senator Skeletor, Medicare Fraudster

Less than 24 hours after threatening to impose a 20% tariff, Dear Leader is proposing a needlessly complex blockade on a Strait that someone else controls. It’s all like the plot of a poorly written movie. 🍿

Dear Leader has officially and finally paid E Jean Carroll $5.8m for his assault on her. We love this for him. 🥰

Keystone Krash was reportedly about to hop on the FBI jet to go see his girlfriend in Chicago when he was suddenly summoned to the White House over concerns about his very visible jet set lifestyle. He’s crying fake news claiming he wasn’t even on the tarmac yet. We love this for him. 🥰

As the reflecting pool is drained yet again there is some damage visible and we have video of a suspect.

“Iran declared the Strait of Hormuz closed, is that true?” “It’s open as far as we’re concerned. Don’t talk about it!” It’s closed.

“The hole that Lindsey Graham left in the senate cannot be filled.” I can’t think of a better way to phrase that. 🤣🤣🤣

The “proof of life” complete with a current newspaper seems a little staged and he looks way too spry for his “condition”….

This place looks like it serves really mid Pad Thai.

Straws, grasping at. He had an aortic dissection.

Because her 5th place finish for the gubernatorial nomination didn’t humiliate her quite enough… Nancy Mace is expressing her interest in Lady Lindsey’s still warm seat…

Never fear, Jennings is putting together a conference call with Lindsey and Mitch! 🐢💀🐞💀

Someone is raging about accurately reporting on his myriad of failures and shortcomings. We love this for him. 🥰

I guess Ladybug Lindsey really needed to talk to Mitch. 🐞🐢

So, his annual physical is now a six month physical that seems to occur every five or six weeks and the only time anyone gets a cognitive test is when there’s reason to suspect a decline…

The image he posted is photoshopped. His fragile ego and empty posturing are real. He truly lives in constant fear of powerful women.

“One thing I know about republicans is when we had a very bad candidate, we didn’t vote for that person… we walked away.” Hahahahaha! Say something else that’s demonstrably untrue. 🤣🤣🤣

Faced with a nationwide explosive diarrhea outbreak caused by cyclospora, Taco Bell is temporarily removing ingredients that might be spreading the parasite. 🦠 Which is weird for a fast food chain to be more proactive about our health than Dear Leader’s cabal of clowns. 🤡

Funny how everything that ICE is claiming is falling apart. Again. It’s like they’re poorly trained goons who are grossly incompetent.

Take one guess who she voted for… 🤣

The latest edition of Trump Regime Workout Demonstrations brings you… “Dr” Oz demonstrates squats.

Congratulations to lil’ Eric for living up to all expectations and losing $600m in bad crypto trades. We love this for him. 🥰

“Family Values” Noem is divorcing her husband due to his predilections and not because she’s been shacking up with Corey for nearly two years…

Ignore all the evidence, Dear Leader is the picture of health and robustly masculine!

Quite possibly the most blatant attempt by Dear Leader and his oligarch backers to influence the coming election. How long before the scheme to sell fuel at a loss in a swing state (Pennsylvania) implodes?

Dear Leader was forced to return home using a he old Air Force One after it was deemed that his shiny, new “free” Air Qatari One didn’t possess the required minimum requirements, like inflight refueling. He’s claiming it was because he was feeling nostalgic. 🤪

“Should Democrats regain power, it’s game over. 12 more justices on SCOTUS. 2 new Democratic states. They’re going to get rid of ICE.” Sold! Let’s get started!

“Like, Helen Keller, if I’m being honest… did she even exist? I can’t wrap my mind around it. You’re telling me there’s a women who can’t see or hear but she wrote a book? I don’t know, it just doesn’t sit right with me.” *scrambles to find Helen Keller truther on my bingo cards*

And now he’s paving over the South Lawn to put in a helipad. Likely for a quick escape and to keep those bloated ankles from sinking into the grass…

Can you feel the love? 🫣

“We had 11 missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan.” Great, now we’re going to war with Japan… 🍣🍱

Everywhere, maga pundits are in high pearl clutching mode over Mamdani’s wife spending the 4th in Spain for a wellness retreat. Oddly, they are completely quiet about Ken Paxton skipping the celebrations to go to London with someone other than his wife…

Is it just me or are these disappointed soccer fans giving off big Freddie Mercury vibes? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 🫣

The Belgian team doing the “Trump Dance” after winning against the US is truly delightful.

I guess we should be happy he didn’t bomb the school…

“Affordability? What are you talking about? I’m gunna get me a couple big lobster tails, some nice ribeyes… maybe 60% of Americans don’t work as hard as I do.” - Rep Nehls (maga-TX) having a Marie Antoinette moment.

“Americans have won the most Olympic medals of any country in the world and, by far, the most Nobel Prizes. Well, they haven’t given me one. I settled 8 wars and I still haven’t gotten it.” And never will. And if you look at how many American Nobels were won by immigrants…

Hot on the heels of the revelation that Dear Leader made nearly $2b from his crypto schemes it has now been revealed that… …nearly 1m investors in his meme coin lost over $3.7b We love this for them. 🥰

In these dark times… Hunter is the shining light we didn’t know we needed. 🥰

Someone is waxing nostalgic about their immigrant past…

“Pope Leo is a Chinese communist agent!” - some guy who just fled to Argentina for reasons…