seeing how many people show up in jeffery epstein's emails makes me happy i never reply to anyone's email

Money's not important, career's not important, committing to the bit is important

if they were going to cave anyway they should’ve done it a week ago to spare SNAP recipients the agony.

People have lost their jobs, have been forced to work for pay they’ll likely never receive, or gone hungry for this fucking shit outcome

"shocked pikachu"? not gonna be very effective. pikachus are resistant to electricity. lol.

Writing a manuscript for publication about my serious biomedical research while listening to a Rammstein song where she doesn’t have to be smart or good looking as long as she got them big ol tits is exactly where I thought I’d be in my 30s

If you aren't seeing skeets from some of your fave people, they might have been labeled "Rude" by bsky mods. Idk what they are thinking, I don't need a mommy to tell me who to be buddies with. Anyway, go into Settings > moderation > bluesky moderation (advanced) and turn Rude off.

What we’re seeing in NYC right now

Big day for those of us with legal names beginning with Z that bigots will pretend are not pronounced exactly like they’re spelled

A dog just ran up to me in public and sat at my feet expectantly. I asked the owner if I could pet their dog, and the owner responded, “do you have treats?” And I was like, “….what?” “Do you have treats?” And I didn’t even finish saying no before the owner said, “well, she thinks you do” and turned

I genuinely could not care less about what people buy with food stamps. I wouldn't even give a shit if they used them to buy cigarettes and vodka

The wizard works on a research paper.

In keeping with this, here are some things I have recently enjoyed: - our outdoor pepper plants we brought indoors to over winter have started producing peppers - my cats have been super snuggly with the changing weather - new dishwasher - made a bunch of tomato soup base with our garden tomatoes

New awareness campaign

happy Godzilla Day

My congratulations to all Baseball Perverts. It was their "super bowl" last night and it seems they all had a very bad time (in their culture that's how you have a good time)

I still love baseball forever.

Well. How many days til pitchers and catchers report

Don't care what people use SNAP on and never will, fuck you if you care

And I knew I’d be mad when the game was over even while I was longing for death

My favorite part of baseball is when the manager goes to the mound to tell the pitcher he loves him

All these people avoiding m-dashes because “AI uses them” simply means that there’s more for me!

I have to keep reminding the haters I won the league last year and had the best record the year before that (came in 2nd)… and my draft grade was an A+ and I was projected to win it all at the start of the season…

GOD: hi, welcome to heaven ME: thanks…is there any BOFA here? [30 seconds later] SATAN: hi, welcome to hell

Apparently some folks are playing real dumb about skull symbols so let’s play a little game I like to call “Nazi skull or not a Nazi skull” First up, the Jolly Roger. This is a pirate skull, not a Nazi skull. It means you might get robbed, but prolly not genocided. With me so far? 1/x

Listening to dead people is a bad idea. That's how both Poltergeist and the Exorcist started, and that's why I don't read books by dead writers

Sexy average male height in America (5’9”, I guess)

Can’t go to bed because I’m doing an experiment where I stay exhausted for my entire life

gonna hold off on posting for about an hour until only the degenerates are around

AWS is down, post hog

*taps the sign*

My dog so I drop some on the floor:

Wearing a "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" shirt and then never having coffee

Imagine doing this when you could simply watch a movie with me, the guy who cannot watch a movie without reading the Wikipedia article during the movie and maybe doing further research on things I find in the Wikipedia article if there’s something cool in there about said movie

Folks will claim I’m a hater, but this isn’t true: I’m a lil sweetie pie who hand wrote and mailed two thank you letters this very morning

Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life

(forgetting the word for antibiotics) do i need cancel culture

so crazy to just be living every day through the slow motion car crash of escalating fascism and it’s still like. aw man i have to go to the dentist

Pretty much, yeah

while I nodded, cartwheel slapping / on the stage, some double-tapping / harsh vox not unlike rapping, yet not rapping, to be sure / ok that's enough of this

Poor ol’ Carson Wentz, thought of ants and died

Low key a little jealous I’ve never gotten a nickname this legit

"We're going to create superintelligence" How about making outlook search work first. How about that

As always, today is a great day to support artists, writers, creators of all sorts. If you have the means, buy a book, sign up for someone's Patreon, commission an art piece. It's also a lovely day to leave a nice comment, post a short review, spread the word about someone's work. Everything helps.

Sometimes I think about how it’s literally cannon that tenacious d went toe to toe with devil as the most metal group ever, but JB blew the whole thing because he was worried he wouldn’t be in the Minecraft movie after KG made a joke on stage… Very Metal and Very Cool

It's officially October 1st so that means you all have to repost Assorted cheese hell.....yes

be a cactus: stand tall, be strong, and do harm to anyone who tries to touch you without your consent