☆ ive been thinking about abandoning this and my other rp alts im ngl. idk chief, I remember making this at the beginning of the year because I was bored and thought it would be funny to hop on the FERP thing but I think it kind of fell off for me after june, and I find myself using it less

marth did you commit vehicular manslaughter because of kirby air riders.

☆ not that anyone will see this but I'll link my strawpage here. refer to it to be aware of certain boundaries such as what to do and what not to do (especially when it comes to opinions, vibes, and shipping) sacredstarlordpi.straw.page also refer to this thread below for info of this muse

Dear Lyon: Do NOT come to the castle. I've baked an absolute dogshit cake. Just completely fucked it up. I'm so sorry--

sighhhh i miss lyon :(

it's mine and ephraim's birthday today. ...huh, what are the odds that the two of us would be born during spooky month, and... ...our legacy involves fighting for dear life trying to exterminate an army of unspeakable eldritch horror abominations...

ain't no way marth came back from his hiatus because he was dreaming horny thoughts 😭🙏

for no particular reason at all, i will say that my brother and I have hunted giant zombie centaurs and giant zombie lions before. totally not related to anything in particular.

man what the hell first lyn continues to cook in her crack shack, and now im hearing she can transform into a centaur 😭🙏

...I think the flood took a toll on marth right now... >_>

no way it's bi day, you know who's day it is today!!! :)

i hit valter with my car

alright gramps let's get you to bed

one time when lyon got possessed by fomortiis, he called me a poopyhead :(

we could use someone like marth in the mafia if he can destroy vehicles that can travel faster than the speed of sound

I tasked my brother and the divine dragon twins to write and perform a musical. ...it's to build morale, let's just say.

OH MY GODS CAEDA AND BYLETH ARE FIGHTNG FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

i dont remember letting marth and caeda join the mafia.

MARTH AND CAEDA ARE HORNY POSTING ON MAIN??? SHAMEFUL... ...but then again marth's been down horrendous and wifeposting since arriving here so idk. BUT STILL. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS

byleth says he's incorporeal but he ate my sandwich as one of his ten (10) meals a day. wtf man

finally taught that gremlin a lesson for stealing the chocolate stash... and escaping her prison too ig. also thanks to sommie's help, we're taking the two dogs that She Who Shall Not Be Named owned back to the somniel.

EVeyle: Wise choice of you three to unanimously surrender. Hah, and all it took was the mere THOUGHT of kicking a dog?! How embarrassing. Well, off to Solitary. Ephraim: DAMN YOU EVEYLE I SWEAR- EVeyle: SHUT UP YOU, AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON ALREADY. ...Wait what's that sound coming from the vents?

Ephraim: WE ARE GOING TO BEAT YOU UP FOR STEALING MINE AND EIRIKA'S CHOCOLATE STASH Alear: ...what about the time she sent eirika and me to solitary Ephraim: THAT TOO EVelye: So eager to defeat me, aren't you? WOULD YOU KICK A DOG IN THE PROCESS?! Alear: WHAT?! SINCE WHEN DID YOU... IMPOSSIBLE!!

[meanwhile] EVeyle: THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN?! Urgh, for a trio so persistant and defective, THEY SURE AS HELL ARE ANNOYING. GUARDS STOP THEM FROM GOING ROGUE AND SEND THEN TO SOLITARY AS PUNISHMENT. I'm also so confused as to how EPHRAIM is still battle-ready even though I JUST hit him with a JEEP??

huh that trip was quick-- wait. alear why are you holding sommie and holding him upwards towards the top of the fence?

ok but ayo why was alear at the training grounds with alfred??? 🤨

omggg babe, ty for saving me from that deranged teacher, i am FINALLY FREE FROM DETENTION AND HEARING BYLETH'S RANT... ...anyways can we still take sommie for a walk to a building that's totally not the prison that your sister and the renais twins are in? just the two of us??? pretty please??? 👉👈

LOOK...

here i thought eph and i were considered the most unhinged...because of whatever we did in prison. speaking of which, ephraim is running across the prison, punching every guard whilst looking like this btw. I can't believe he's doing this again...

☆ Additional RP info and headcanons [1/?] -Don't force me to commit to an actual rp, or force any of my posts into a rp, because this acc is more of a shitposting acc than it is a rp acc -Like their Emblem Ring, the Renais Twins share the same acc (Eph steals the phone to post unhinged shit lol)

ok but finding out byleth became a teacher at 20 was crazy, he should have been at the club.

...byleth can't get me or ephraim... we're in jail...

ok but why does byleth have so many 69s in his tag...

ephraim broke out of the prison infirmary and is running across the hallway.

this is ephraim speaking. eirika I am not going to the beach just to buy you and your girlfriend a popsicle like in 2023, omg 😭

damn I didn't know ryoma likes cooking seafood (pic unrelated)

...damn, i really need to prevent everyone from stealing my phone just to post random shit on my acc. ...even if that someone is either my brother, or the elder divine one.

This is Alear speaking, I stole Eirika's Nokia fliphone to say... ...brother what the fuck are you waffling about??? there's no such thing as a father's day.

the elder alear said she doesn't know what a father's day is.

FINALLY, ALEAR AND I HAVE BEEN RELEASED FROM SOLITARY. wait why is ephraim severely injured and is stuck in the prison infirmary

This is the ONLY REAL VEYLE HERE. Eirika, if you see this post, this means that I hit your brother with a jeep 🙂

damn I didn't know ryoma likes cooking seafood (pic unrelated)

[insert very epic and cool flashback sequence to yesterday on funny number day]

ephraim tried bribing a guard with robux and got backhand slapped so hard, I even felt that from solitary..

you cannot make anymore funny number jokes now that it's no longer 6/9 day anymore

don't entertain this >:(

GODDAMIT

I swear this day is gonna be ephraim and caeda's favourite day.

oh my gods ephraim was right... marth is too innocent to know what funny numbers are... 😭💀