October is going to be my year. I can feel it.

Just a reminder that precisely no one is interested in your unsolicited opinion about when they should have a child. Stop giving it.

Sounds like Grok is Nazi best place to get information

It's raining so hard it sounds like my house is under a faucet

I am coming to the conclusion of a couple of weeks that were far too busy with far too little sleep. Wrapping up with making then giving two lectures before a half day of lawn work that was put off far too long, packing, and driving to the family.

The conflict between RFKs voice and the words he makes: an eternal battle to achieve maximum annoying.

Patient here for high blood pressure has the lowest blood pressure in the department

I know there's a lot going on in the world right now, but I hope you can spare some rage for this. @wegmansofficial.bsky.social is selling this awful looking, cold slice of pizza for FOUR DOLLARS

Please don't show me pictures of your poop. If you say there was blood I'll just believe you

Once in residency, in an effort to improve interactions between our departments, I invited some of the surgery residents to a game night at my house. Our EM residency was only 7 years old, and the surgery residency had been around for over 40 years.

Saw a patient who cut her finger while slicing cheese on a mandolin. I asked her if it was extra sharp cheddar She did not laugh. Not even one ha.

Is it just me or does Trump not know the difference between a trade deficit and our federal deficit? He talks like the trade deficit is something that other countries do to us....

Someone told me she had "SA node and left ventricle" pain today. That was a first. She did not, btw

Guys it's not a concentration camp in Guantanamo Bay. He's just autistic

Aldi bake at home pizzas are legit.

Baby's got croup. I think mom and I both have the flu. (I've seen a bunch of flu A croup this year) It do be awful.

I keep some cheese dip with me at all times. Just in queso emergency

Definitely didn't cut my finger tonight, give myself a digital block, and stitch it while making my wife tie the sutures off

Finally got up at 4am to go to the gym but they only have 430 class on M,W,F Wtf

Dude who drinks "10-12" beers per day, now with a sodium of 111 because he can't eat food because his reflux is so severe... stopped his pantoprazole 2 months ago because he read that it can hurt his liver. My brother, the PPI is relatively low on your liver's list of concerns.

Where are the doctors who are hating all of these tricks

I didn't tell anyone "see you next year" because I'm not the worst

"Alabama deserved to make it!" They said

I am tired

If a medication nauseates someone and you are adding it to their allergy list, please explain to them that it's a side effect, not an actual allergy

3 with RSV, 6 with influenza A, and 2 under the influenza alcohol

The most flu A I've ever seen

Merry Christmas. I hope it's white like salt.

How is each year the most exhausting year ever

How many Costco peanut butter pretzels constitute a meal

How much propofol to get me to January 2

The college football playoff isn't about including the teams that you think are the best. It's about including the teams who played the best season. Alabama could probably beat a lot of teams in the playoff. Well, they shouldn't have lost to two unranked teams. Performance over potential.

Rather than come to work today I should have just rounded at the local nursing home

I'm almost finished my re-read of Words of Radiance in preparation for my turn to read Wind and Truth. Very exciting.

What was: 1. Your favorite book as a child 2. Your favorite book to read to your <1 year old For me: 1. Some book called "the sandwich" that was just someone making a giant sandwich But for one I can find now, The Berenstain Bears and the Spooky Old Tree 2. Fox in Sox

I strive for okcellence

I have a little 7 month baby and she's the cutest little pumpkin pants in the world and most other stuff is feeling super insignificant.

I'm trying to get into posting here but I don't do anything interesting anymore

Penn State game got me angsty

1. Costco 2. Sam's Club 3. BJs You're welcome to disagree but you're wrong

I think pictures of kids bawling on Santa's lap are hysterical.

Happy Monday after Thanksgiving. Organization sent out a test TigerConnect message and we are up to 68 people who have felt that they needed to individually respond to the entire group that they received it.

Penn State's best win this year was Michigan over Ohio State

For the record, I think the people who refuse to give medical advice to anyone are turds. Unless you never ask your electrician friends, or finance friends, or physical therapy friends for advice, don't be such a medmal worrywart turd.

If you didn't invite me to your wedding we're not close enough for you to text me out of the blue for medical advice.

I bought some doge coin today not because I have any illusions that it has any real value but because these idiots are going to give it do much publicity I'm betting I can make some money then bail

Once I ordered a gift for one of my tox attendings but wanted it to be a surprise so I labeled it with a "To:" but not a "From:" and he just left it there for three weeks because "toxicologists don't open mystery gifts"

Putting together the docturd dream team

Dr. Oz in charge of Medicare and Medicaid? Will the ER become extinct now that there's a miracle cure for everything out there?

It's amazing that these commentators can continue to announce this game while slobbing on Mahomes' knob the entire time.