I found this on Instagram and couldn't stop watching it. Something different made me snort-laugh harder every time. Everyone needs to see this.

Turns out that being able to open a small, zip-locked bag of candy without being immediately rushed and accosted by an eager feline is not as great as I thought it would be. I miss my Tater.

I hate to add to the sad, but this afternoon we will be saying goodbye to our Tater Tot. She's brought us nearly 17 years of "meh", "that's enough pets", and "no, I want to eat something else". We love her and will miss her so much.

Christian Nationalists get erect shitting on public schools. Whatever way Republicans can find to fuck kids, they're on top of it.

The Colorado Rockies just got off work at a 90s Taco Bell before the game.

Maxwell MUCKIN' Funcy, in triplicate.

It really would have helped my mediocre bracket if St. John's and Michigan State had won. We've had more than enough of Dan Hurley.

Had fun getting my ass ridden by a BMW SUV through a 25 mph school zone on the way to work. I don't blame them, as I'm pretty sure a BMW can't go under 35 miles an hour unless it is braking to come to a stop.

Is there a new FIFA rule that says the recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize gets to bomb one country to force them out of the FIFA World Cup, or is that just a one-off thing?

Threats of Iranian drone strikes against California seem ludicrous, and an Iranian official said they had no intention of hitting US mainland, as there were plenty of military bases and assets they could hit. I find the Iranian government much more reliable and believable than our own at this point.

Who shares a toothbrush? That's nasty, Ed.

I have to say, thus far, I'm not thrilled with Desert Storm 2 : Epstein Boogaloo.

So apparently, our government shut down airspace around El Paso for 8 hours yesterday because they thought that mylar party balloons were invasive Mexican drones, and they wanted to blast them with some new powerful laser. If anything serious happens while these morons are in charge, we're cooked.

The mental gymnastics required for someone to consider Trump NOT to be a child rapist would kill Mary Lou Retton.

It feels like society is getting dumber with each passing day, and I don't know how we survive this carefully cultivated and disinformationally developed tsunami of stupid. "It's the stupid, economy."

They're only gestapo if they come from the Prussian region of Germany. Otherwise, they're just militarized slave catchers.

So when they don't get the violence needed by occupying and terrorizing blue states, will they eventually send ICE to Texas or Florida?

Literally NOTHING that the ICE goons did leading up to and following the murder of Renee Good was in compliance with applicable law or DHS policy.

My phone's text suggestions just made me choke on my water.

What kind of person intentionally nearing a moving car in a crowded residential area thinks that firing three shots at and murdering the driver is DEFENDING anyone‽ I know that this is exactly what they want and need to happen, but it's so terrifyingly sad. I miss at least the semblance of justice.

Having one daughter home from college and the other visiting more often has led to a proliferation of weird, difficult to wash drinkware yoinked from the darkest depths of the highest kitchen cabinets, and I will really miss seeing them as much as I do now.

I assume that if Maduro is actually convicted, he will then be pardoned and elected our next president.

And to all, a good night! From Tater Tot, TK-294, and Grogu.

Tater Tot has somehow leveraged her limited use of the single, shared, orange cat brain cell to remember multiple notification sounds heralding new arrivals. Upon hearing the "garage door opening" sound, she sprang from my lap to await the entrance of her Primary Provider of People Food (my wife).

In other good news, I just upgraded Google Messages and the ridiculously gaudy nano banana button is no more! I might even come to tolerate the carousel-inflicted extra tap to edit.

Tonight's Late Show with Stephen Colbert was absolute perfection! A spicy animated holiday special paired with the ibdubitably mellifluous Hugh Jackman perfectly frosted with the ear-tickling holiday sounds of Louis Cato and the Late Show Band to form the perfect Kulfi Tres Leches Cupcake! Don't go!

And @colbertlateshow.bsky.social is an inactive account. Harumph. Let's try that again.

Tonight's @colbertlateshow.bsky.social was absolute perfection! A spicy animated Holiday special paired with the ibdubitably mellifluous Hugh Jackman, perfectly frosted with the ear-tickling holiday sounds of Louis Cato and the Late Show Band to form the perfect Kulfi Tres Leches Cupcake! Don't go!

I really don't believe that Indiana senators suddenly grew a spine so much as some of them realized that gerrymandering could backfire in the event of a blue wave, actually costing them otherwise secure seats.

Where has this sudden PR push from "Big Racoon" come from? Is it yet another distraction, or are raccoons staffing bot farms?

I tried to get my phone to use an Australian accent, but it's inconsistent, and for some things it's still the default American voice, which annoys me, so I refuse to converse with my phone, only voice to text. I've also developed a fondness for the phrase "weaponized autism."

Facing a daunting challenge, there is little I enjoy more than learning that, "Occasionally, it will just work itself out." I'm not procrastinating, I'm just allowing nature to take its course! My problem arose on Sunday, fixed itself last night, and now I can deal with OTHER nonsense this weekend!

Everyone knows that the larger a party to a contract, the more bargaining power they typically have. However, when they DECLARE at the beginning of negotiations that they don't usually negotiate agreements and expect minimal edits, they are going to receive ALL of my standard and necessary edits.

What an unbelievable World Series! I'm so glad game 7 did not take 23 innings.

The seventh game of this World Series is going to go 23 innings, with the full roster for both teams being used. Kiké Hernandez gets the pitching win for the Dodgers after a Mookie Betts go-ahead grand slam in the top of the 23rd.

Sorry for the lengthy ballgame last night! I perfectly timed my viewing, skipping every commercial break until the 9th inning, at which point it was live. Greedy corporatists obviously chose to punish my accomplishment by forcing me to watch 9 more full innings with commercials.

Ohtani apologized to the ump for thinking that was a ball, and I think that's why he got the make-up call on the next pitch. It's amazing what kindness can accomplish!

A Jonas Brothers concert just broke out in the middle of my Dodger game.

Brilliantly handled and written!

If anyone planning to take a one-way trip tomorrow has a vehicle they would like to get rid of, please let me know, as I'm looking for a dependable ride.

"We used to have empires run by emperors. Then we had kingdoms run by kings. Now we just have countries." -heard from a friend, but please provide the source if known

With each passing day, I realize that people are even dumber than I thought they were the day before. Even if we somehow manage to survive the current regime (due to its incompetence), I don't know how we survive ourselves.

US President Elon Musk looks on as his newest salesman, a convicted felon, attempts to sell Swastikars at his newest Tesla dealership.

Saw a clip from The Sound of Music, and now my brain is involuntarily imagining a modern contemporary remake. There's definitely fertile ground there, but likely a very small window for it to be more of a comedy than a dark tragedy.

Happily NOT listening to Putin's Cock-holster spew bullshit.

Every year my brain aches as I hear from folks about how upset they are that their income tax refund is less than last year, sometimes by thousands. I want to start a business called "Guaranteed Refund!" where people send me money every month, and then I send it all back in one lump sum in April.

This is fuckin' delightful! youtu.be/qG9ecuZzhY0?...

Currently rewatching Handmaid's Tale from the beginning. Slightly concerned we won't get through it before the new season starts, but even more concerned that we won't get through it before actual current events get get to the same point.

Tater Tot has had an exhausting Caturday full of naps and has become boule.

This is exactly the kind of honest and fact-based journalism we need right now. Comprehensive. Accurate. Utter perfection, 5/7, no notes. kyivindependent.com/who-started-...