Dear Ollie Watkins

American golf fans seem a bit...Trumpy.

They’ve taken Rodon’s defcon away 😭

My Defcon Daddy strikes again. It's the same points as having a 5.5 million striker who scores every other week 👌

Thoughts and prayers for FPL General who captained Fernandes and is currently on 11 points 😬

My triple captain robot!!!

RODOOOON!! Yes I started him. Don’t judge. I have double United midfield so need all the luck I can get.

I didn’t break Semenyo? The own goal and red card must be coming second half 🤔

Collins should be off there. Ref seems to be making his own rules up today.

The secret weapon differential that’s going to save my season over the next few weeks.

This is where I'm at for GW6 after 2 free transfers. Almost wildcarded with a rank of 7.5m 🤢 However moving to the template this week feels like a wasted opportunity to catch up. Quite happy to go against double Arsenal defence vs Newcastle. Cunha and Anderson against Ndiaye and Pedro feels fine.

This is where I'm at for GW6 after 2 free transfers. Almost wildcarded with a rank of 7.5m 🤢 However moving to the template this week feels like a wasted opportunity to catch up. Quite happy to go against double Arsenal defence vs Newcastle. Cunha and Anderson against Ndiaye and Pedro feels fine.

Gameweek rank of 9.3 million. Down to 7.4 million OR. Taking a few days off 👋

Just spent half an hour celebrating my Reindeer points but just realised I benched him for Cunha. This season could possibly get worse, but I lack the imagination to conceive how.

Semenyo gets DC points now? I hate him with the power of a million exploding suns. I WILL DESTROY HIM. By buying him this week.

Sunderland being down to 10 men probably guarantees a 0-0 in this game. Villa don't look capable of breaking down any kind of organised defensive block.

Three left to save the gameweek

My GW1 team is now worth 99.1 million. I’ve been struggling to maintain team value like never before, and should probably just wildcard - still think my team looks great though 😭

Casemiro is an absolute idiot.

HAVE I BEEN CURSED BY A WITCH

On a red arrow with captain played. I'm at 7 million rank. CAN PLAYERS WHO I DON'T OWN STOP DOING ALL THE POINTS PLEASE

I'm loving this drip drip of 4 pointers from Anderson. They add dup nicely. Might just stay in my team all season.

I hate these mofos with a passion. Hope you’ve all enjoyed your points but the fun is over, I’m buying two of them this week 🖕

As suspected, didn’t set the team up properly. Bench points incoming!

Woke up 2 minutes after deadline. Did I play Cunha or Reindeer? Esteve or Rodon? Captain Salah or Watkins? All these mysteries and more will be revealed shortly.

Wow we should base our entire economy on this technology

Play Reindeer or Cunha? 🤔 Leaning towards Cunha for the lols.

The greatest album ever recorded.

There’s a higher than 0% chance I might be in this movie.

Getting a green arrow while ranked at 7.5 million shouldn't be this difficult.

Salah xGi the first half vs Burnley: 0.03 This is not the Mo Salah of old.

Game week so far

Went Evanilson instead of Semenyo because I'm a maverick. I'd rather be a boring template manager with a good rank.

We all know know this is going to end.

My season's prospects slipping through my fingers like guts through a massive stomach wound. Murillo to Munoz feels like applying a plaster when I need major surgery. I should wildcard but I always get a red arrow on WC and at 7.6 million my sanity won't survive another red arrow. Good luck all ☘️

I have to finally get a goal from one of my strikers this game week, right? Right?

Sell all Forest defensive assets immediately 😬

Dope Lemon, Electric Bristol

This is how I'm set up for GW4. Not great, but not terrible either. Hoping for a green arrow to start moving to a rank I can say aloud without puking. Main decision is whether to roll or dump my forest defender.

Alien Earth episode 5. Fucking. Hell.

36 points and down to 7.5 million

My new signing. Thank you for your first contribution to my team. You'll fit right in here, everyone else is a useless shite as well.

THREE WEEKS IN A ROW IS HE DOING IT ON PURPOSE?!

I’m in the absolute mud here folks, but 7 points from this legend in both the weeks I’ve played him is keeping my spirits up #positivefpl

The Life of Chuck, 2025. Stephen King’s reflection on death, time and dancing is expertly adapted by Mike Flanagan. The cast is perfect and the film full of joy. I absolutely loved it.

Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning, 2025. Each of these films has gradually replaced all humour, style and intrigue with bigger high concept stunts. The first half is tedious and at times incomprehensible. The second half brings the action set pieces but zero character development. I hated it.

Benched Evanilson. Took a -4 to captain Cunha.

I'm averaging one attacking return a gameweek so far this season. If I'm just getting one again this week PLEASE let it come from this fella