this aged well. no, i mean it actually did

i might not be the first one to say this, but the saturation of true crime/murder documentaries/docudramas is completely out of fucking control. go onto any streaming service right now, and it's literally wall to wall murder. murder is not entertainment, people. these were/are real tragedies

i'd like to formally announce that i too am leaving red bull 🫴

they keep calling it 'the eyeball monster' when clearly it's an ocupus #alienearth

you face prison because you keep committing crimes you daft twat

'today is a dark day' ... no it isn't that's night you're thinking of.

murphy was pretending to be someone he's not. he's a total fraud! absolutely disgraceful!

anyone else find it odd david gandy doesn't know what his children look like?

i for one look forward to kirkmas — turkey carved by the most heavily armed relative, and every present a tax-deductible donation to a pro-racism think tank

i need to know if the following people are fascist maga-twats. i'm trying to find a pattern... christopher reeve tom welling brandon routh henry caville david corenswet

this will not stand! i am incredibly principled! and that's why i will be cancelling my disney+ subscription as soon as this season of alien: earth is over and restarting it again only once the new season arrives

i wonder what it is specifically about khan trump doesn't like? it's a puzzle alright

in english please! how the hell are we supposed to know what these french placards are saying?!

'mr president, don't look at it or the chandeliers drip blood. bloody awful mess'

judean people's front (jpf) to become front for advancement people’s judea (fapj), and judean front for protection of people’s front purity (jfppfp)

'abba by john'... i guess he's talking about this

when serfdom was the predominant system of social governance in europe back in the middle ages, the poor worked land leased to them by dukes and barons, barely scraping out enough to live, while the wealth 'tirckled up' to the lord. tell me how that's different from renters and landlords now?

you ask a farmer planting wheat 'are you growing wheat?' and he denies it. says 'no, i'm just putting these little seed dinguses in the ground, but 'growing wheat'?! no! that it defamatory!!!' farage, robinson, kirk, fox news, all of them. that is what they're doing. but they're growing fascism.

one particularly wise pensioner once said: 'kill me and i will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine'. kimmel and colbert have vast audiences, and they're not going to stop talking just because you deplatform them

'party of free speech' suspends free speech over free speech about murdered advocate of free speech

if the far left and far right are going to reconcile, we need to find common ground – a tentpole issue we can agree upon. which is why i'm organising the 'get this fucking wankparrot out of number ten march' in london next month. bring sandwiches or cocaine, depending on your political leaning.

"'trespass? no, they didn't set foot on private land. hmm. vandalism? no, they didn't damage or break anything. espionage? good, nice and general, but makes them sound like james bond. we don't want that. what about 'possession of a hurty powerpoint'? is that a crime? can we make it a crime?"

often amazed by how different things can look when you change the camera angle

the far-right noise machine doesn't want you sharing this chart as widely as possible. so please don't

can you make this much poo in two days? no? he can. and he'll be right along to show you how proud of it he is...

RIP Robert Redford – the GOAT!

'i'm going to designate anti-fascists 'domestic terrorists' for saying i'm a fascist' — is totally not what a fascist might do, huh

guy at the march literally says 'not racist, but' then holds up a placard saying 'get them out' and starts screech-chanting that slogan. for those still trying to make out anyone at that march isn't a racist because (... checks notes ...) they say they aren't, i have a bridge i'd like to sell you

bondi goes on fox news to demand fox news cancel fox news

'donald trump annonce'

the first flag i've seen in months that makes me proud to be british

a certain giant furry person just convinced my partner he hadn't had his lunch yet and had two lunches

We need to keep this much empathy. These are kids trying to keep a paycheck, access to medical or eduation benefits. And these are confusing times. Like most of us probably most them are hoping this will be over soon. The villain is in the White House—elsewhere in the same city.

i mean, it's funny, but these guys, who enlisted to be heroes, are being forced to be villains. they absolutely hate being where they are and doing what they've been ordered to do. you can see it in their faces. one of them looks like he wants to cry.

zuck one step closer to lying directly into your brain

woody allen cosplay or 'significant cognitive disadvantage'. it's a tough choice

side note: we watched the new superman flick last night and it. was. terrific! thank you for your attention in this matter.

i just spent the last week off work driving (virtual) race cars around the mexico gp track. now i would like you to believe i don't like or support motorsport or sim racing in any way. those who marched yesterday in london who now say they aren't racists. this is how fucking ridiculous you sound.

please throw ball. please thank you

make love not war i say. just imagine how different things would be today if powell's infamous speech had talked of rivers of cum

you gotta admit 'i wanna be america's tyrannical dictator forever' is an odd goal for someone so obviously close to death

yes, okay, i did give him a little shove, but it was too tempting! don't @ me! eggs have no business sitting on walls

tr. minister peter kyle was on LBC being questioned about musk's incitement of mass-violence. his response? 'what he said was wacky, but people in this country have a right to say 'wacky things'' peter — you're a gaslighting sellout centaur with a lie-shitting horsehole. 'wacky' enough for you?

sorry there hasn't been a lot of comedy lately. i'm angry. and that would only be funny if i were a cartoon

there's a house across the street from us that's now encrusted in st. george flags. do i think oh, how nice and patriotic? no, i think oh, some racist prick lives there. as a white, straight man i'm also painfully aware that i cannot possibly feel what anyone who isn't feels when encountering it

you'd think this government failing to understand that the st. george's cross is contextually a symbol of hate and terror would be the worst of it. but no. the worst of it is they *do* understand, and they allow it anyway.

this is extraordinarily on-point

make this make sense

if you want to get up to speed on the increasingly pitched battle between the political left and the political right — every nuance, every dive, play, every goal, every fakeout can be fully predicted and understood by watching footloose