I think I might end up deleting my fics again lol

Today has been so fucking bad again

I know I'm not alone and that I have friends who care but still... I feel so fucking lonely sometimes and it's eating me apart

I'm just a little bit scared that I'm starting to lose fics. Like, it doesn't SOUND too bad, considering I feel like I could try to start writing my own stories and aim for publishing, but... idk

Took my sleeping meds 30 minutes late. We'll see how long it'll take for me to get tired now lol

I'm afraid autism will one day take writing from me sigh

I'm still having fun with the zangeal fic but writing chapter 6 was so hard 😭 I really don't know where I want to take this story next. I know I won't make it too long but I still need enough stuff to happen between October-May

19 year old mutual: Have you perhaps considered that shipping the princess with the knight has a problematic power imbalance, hmmmmm? 30 year old mutual: Thinking about ordering jerk chicken for lunch

silly students #sefikura #ff7 #art #sephiroth #cloudstrife

I'm doing the pizza dough myself for the first time ever and I'm so scared of messing it up

How to know you almost live in the countryside? You step out and smell dung LMAO

ruination zangeal chapter 1 🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/836696...

humanity regained (you are a monster) sefikura chapter 10 🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/810735...

Zangeal university AU has one sub rn and I'm officially posting for that subber specifically <3 I hadn't really expected people to notice it so even the little makes me so happy now

Watched a streamer play Captured 2 and holy SHIT I'm fucking sobbing. I was a little on the fence but the ending alone just made me fall in love

I have a horrible arachnophobia and I just found a spider and I'm almost hyperventilating now 👍

I continued playing Expedition 33... I have to go to the monolith next.... I beat both Axions

So I gave myself a challenge for the zangeal fic to bump my minimum chapter length from 2k to 3k, and I'm so excited to notice that adding 1k per chapter isn't too hard? Like, it forces me to look writing differently and I love that

I'm waiting for the streamlined progression for FFVII Rebirth so maybe after that I'll have the energy to play the last bosses and finally finish it 😂 It's literally the only thing I have left in my first save

ruination zangeal chapter 1 🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/836696...

You know what? I think I'm gonna post the first chapter of the zangeal fic too I still don't know if I'll finish it, but I just want to show it to other zangeal enjoyers

humanity regained (you are a monster) sefikura chapter 10 🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/810735...

I just wrote about Cloud with a bedhead, wearing Zack's old hoodie and chocobo-shaped slippers. I love this mental image LMAO

People were grilling outside and I had my window open. The result? The scent of smoke triggered a headache. Mistakes were made lol

Semi public fucking is also really good. Changing rooms, bathrooms, secluded alleyways. The thought of being so desperate and so horny that you gotta whip it out and hope no one catches you is so fucking good.

I hate hypochondria so much. I hate to get a panic attack every time my body does something I feel like it shouldn't do

I have four chapters ready for the zangeal professor/student AU and no guarantee I'll ever finish it but I'm still craving to post it so other zangeal fans could get treats

Overzealous thigh fucking when it ""accidentally"" slips in, but they're too lost in the sauce to care and just go harder until they ""accidentally"" cum inside

I got Katabasis from the library and I like it a lot already - I'm reading it in Finnish and it feels like exactly the right choice

I was thinking of loaning The Hunger Games from the library today. It's usually always on the shelf. WELL NOT TODAY goddammit

The feeling when things have shifted so that my FFVII fics are more popular than my Naruto fics these days.... At least with longfics lmao

I wanted to sleep longer but my back is hurting so much 😭

AO3 has been agonizingly slow for the past few days and it makes me irrationally angry lmao

I'm spiraling so badly again and I hate it SO MUCH

The best thing abt writing fics is that I can decide whenever I want to take a break from posting something. Or I can just decide that nah I don't feel like writing this anymore

All in all not a super bad birthday but I wasn't able to escape the anxiety lmao

Birthday party with @kanassus.bsky.social 🩷🩷

I can tell my mental health is shit at the moment bc I just feel like quitting writing altogether lmao

Happy Birthday @lilypheria.bsky.social Here's a pic of Seph on his way to work and already ready to go back home! can't be sure why! Inspired by Humanity Regained(you are a monster) archiveofourown.org/works/810735...

I wanted to write today but I've been feeling so fucking awful I can't be bothered

My birthday is tomorrow.... Please.... Let me have a good birthday where I won't get a massive anxiety attack....

What I love about living in this area is that nature is so close

Why does water taste so disgusting right after waking up

結局いつもの塗り方になっちゃうんだよ

Does AO3 load slowly for anyone else or is it just me

I'm reading Just One Damned Thing After Another by Jodi Taylor and I'm laughing my ass off LMAO

Managed to sleep but boy am I in a bad mood lol