Last night I pressed order on food delivery and started hooking up with the person I’m dating and they nutted as the doorbell rang for Wingstop delivery. I’ve never had more perfectly timed sex.

Applied to two jobs that rejected me in August and have reposted the position this week.

Bad Bunny:

Why does “Trust This Device” never work?

Somos Ginger Minj ✊🏽

Was legit crying during all of it

I never go to the gym on Saturday, but I’ve seen no less than 12 of them today Jesus Christ

It’s a great day to be passed around by a couple for a few hours 🫡

Truth be told, the only reason I grow my hair out is so I can let my hair down and I can say anything crazy.

I cannot do another social media site. I will simply fade into the ether once we are done here

This shot of Malört tastes a lot like sliding into random people’s DMs in an hour.

I don’t need media in DMs as much as I need the ability to turn off reposts by account

Me kinda

My leg day is now a full 90 minutes

My gray hair has finally moved into my mustache. 👴🏼

Hookup said he had an incredible time and gave me his brand new bottle of p*ppers “as a gift”

Existential dread keeping you up at night? Try day drinking enough that you go to bed at 10PM on a Saturday for 12 hours! Follow me for more lifestyle hacks.

Finally hung out with the person I’ve been seeing after 6 weeks of not seeing each other.

And if I run myself a little bath what then?

My bad, it’s 7 hours now

A 5.5 hour flight delay should actually be illegal.

Reason 459 I love being gay: I got bred anonymously by a guy on Friday and then Saturday we ended up chatting in person and he came back to my room and realized he had been there before and we hooked up again🤪

Girl fuck you

What the hell, sure.

I posted a 2016 picture on Instagram and people are commenting “omg you’re a child!” when I was pushing 30 😇

Got a manicure and immediately fucked it up.

I kinda love going to the gym in winter cuz I get to do a magical girl transformation in the locker room to my slutty gym clothes.

You just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get your pussy obliterated. It’s that easy.

Oh my god, I almost forgot to tell you. I got bangs! My hair’s so now.

I’ve hated running as cardio for so long but it turns out I just needed to not do it for 14 years to like it again!

Sometimes you just have to say YES to the open bar.

Kissed two friend crushes for the first time tonight I love being gay

Is there a more perfect song for running than Untouched by The Veronicas?

“Lisa, one of the eldest…”

Walked into an empty gym!

It’s a great morning for disassociating with the bidet on full blast.

Oh, Emily in Paris you’ve done it again.

Just saw one of the biggest sluts I’ve known post a bible verse on IG, diva down!

How it felt air frying a bunch of mozzarella sticks last night for the gay guy video hour at 2am

Painting is IN for 2026.

Every 2025 photo dump I’ve seen so far has been how this has been their worst year ever and it made me realize uh yeah, same.

A Costco hot dog is something that can actually be so personal.

The first spray of the bidet after 2 weeks.

I love my sister in the way that we never text or call but whenever we see each other in person it’s a catch up of every piece of life and drama since the last time.

“Shared a vibe” what if I kms

I love that my mom still tries to hide when she smokes weed even though all of us know and even smoke weed around her.

J. Lo’s Louboutins is a Christmas song btw

Ate too much had to take my panties off

Watching a movie with my parents

This AI muscle thing are you not embarrassed…..