the duck says QUACK QUACK and the duck feels RETICENT because the duck, it just MADE A LIL MESS BREAKING A CARAFE WHILE IN A HOT RAGE

Frantically compressing the vapors in my refrigerator by hand. Almost there

Well, the juggernaut crepe is very popular, but, wow, it sure changes people

it's been about 3 years now and my roof still hasn't grown any new shingles. should i cut back on the watering?

Trapped between a trapped and a between

Well heaven and horses strike me silly

Galleonfest is back! Did it ever really leave? Yeah, it did. It left hard and crushed us in its wake. The paperwork still keeps piling up in the abandoned office. But it's back baby!

I have also been produced in association

sitting spot

In this diagram, we see ourselves, because we are stuck in this diagram. Aw man

today at an unfamiliar gas station i entered (area code) + 867-5309 when prompted for a phone number. the screen then asked: "are you hojambro? YES/NO" hell YES i am, we are all hojambro

You've got your flats, your sharps, your punished, and your blessed. We watch them all here.

No, dreamtime has been green on all our maps since the first Big Gap. Are you using a Small Gap map?

"we put the 'car' in 'carpenter ant'" – not a bad slogan brett but it's not fresh nor zesty

from this distance, these cities and people and cars look like vanilla beans, viscid and scrapeable

"Thump!", it thumped

yonder zither ain't just for decoration, now

this receipt just says "the sun and moon", so like maybe we can give you store credit?

Oh dear, you've found me gumming up the works with my AG 5050 Orange and Apple Anvil Shears again, huh? Here, have an orange

Happy Fribsday youtube.com/shorts/Ydnnq...

"too many shipwrecks, not enough sirens"

(sadly) (about people who stole the plutonium) "I tried to stop 'em" "But I was laughing too hard" -Guy who's not Superman

It's a must!

while you were busy yawning and stretching, i was also yawning and stretching. it's a sleepy day

happy walendar, happy calendar

look at this mozzarella!

If the swab turns purple, he's our gurple

I am Encyclopedia Brown, and upon my death I would like each of my body parts separated and arranged alphabetically on a shelf

Someone else's heart Pumping someone else's blood

might as well spring for the long hat

it is false

is this anything

===== does the sun spin yes very slowly does the sun orbit anything yes it does find out facts about how our sun moves =====

one sandwich please, regular, mild shimmer

beep beep! outta the way! this triptych needs to get to an urgent care facility pronto

Is this knurling dappled, or is this dappling knurled? Only one way to find out

"Polka dots polka dots polka dots polka dots" feels like it should work the same way as the buffalo buffalo one

Dead trees clawing into the sky for a star

This cereal is not for chomping! Bites and slurps only

I didn't know you could even make cauldrons out of basalt, let alone big enough cauldrons for a shared lunch

Double it. Then double that. Then stop doubling things. That's enough.

We have two suns here, isn't that just WACKY? Your space manual didn't tell you THAT. Your space manual only talks about MALMQUIST BIAS and I don't KNOW what that IS

It's a rosemary drill! It's just a rosemary drill. A drill that smells like rosemary. It's good.

Gloves won't help here, no matter where you wear th—your hands? Oh hm maybe

You try to take the medium-sized feather, but it's happy where it is. You try to take it again, but it screams in delight. You leave the feather exactly where it is.

Oh hi, yeah, nice to meet another Tyler! Usually the ones I meet are very small and accidentally walk off the counter or get stuck in the sink

how can I tell it's a heat wave? here, look: ooh, ouch, phew that's hot – that's a heat wave all right

the barcode on this package of cheese continues off the package. like off the package and through the fridge and into the kitchen and out of the house. it vanishes into the sky. birds seem unaffected. help