cool so this is what happens when you vote instead of listening to sweaty theoretical leftists tweeting one-handed (other hand busy fingering their own anus to deepfakes of lenin going “i’m proud of you son”) that we’re better off waiting on some great imaginary anarcho-marxist judgement day 💕

ok so at this point i’ve smoked enough different strains of weed to know that yes, in fact they all do have different and distinctive tasting notes. the problem is all of these are Not Great

yea sure why not

straight up frankin’ the stein

there she hoes…. there she hoes again

do not ask for whom the vengabus comes. it comes for thee

i don’t like when videos feature neonatal marsupials. they look nakeder than an entire clitoris and on top of that they have the gall to possess the larval specters of hands. put that thing away. it isn’t meant for my eyes.

unfortunately i’m pretty sure comedy peaked with the bud light real men of genius radio commercials and it’s been a long slow descent ever since

i could change her

dnd: - do not dragons - dungeons and disturb - do not desuscitate - dungeons not dragons - do not do

ok then what

hey siri how can i become more problematic

labubu majora labubu minora

There’s a type of overly sanitized cottagecore-ish “just a little guy” mouse-in-a-jean-jacket aesthetic that imo in today’s climate and push for purity culture is a little too close to the right wing tradwife vibe

stuck where the trade left me

i want to remake the entire sleepaway camp series. trans icon angela still murders the same amount of people but her hair is better and she’s less hung up on camping. in fact she’s murdering people so they stop making her go camping. but they keep making her go and that’s why there’s sequels

“i went on t and it made me not a lesbian anymore nooooo” skill issue. when i went on t it made me so violently lesbionic that los angeles county wants me humanely destroyed. they’re going to put a stop to me. gavin newsom said so

the terror (novel) : indigenous people are spooky as hell, eh wot! the terror (tv): colonial masculinity is a fucking prison

jojo siwa 2012 tumblr transmed tboy phase dropping in 2026

haunted by this one time i was at the aquarium with @theirkingdom.bsky.social and we glibly referred to a tortoise as a turtle and a volunteer docent corrected us with such horny smarm… such relish… pls girl check ur mug before you come for my knowledge of testudinidae

date everything people are out here commenting “you should dress like a table” on bear thirst traps. please i’m begging you go touch a real wiener and/or pussy

the other best thing hrt gave me was the ability to go “hmm” in a dubious manner à la bob belcher

the best thing about being a tr🔺nny is that nobody from high school tries to Reconnect with you

queens from past seasons of rpdr should get a RuPension

when somebody talks to/near me about their kids one of my favorite things to do is go “yeah i was like that too and look how i turned out” and watch their face go all neo cubist

if i saw a man wearing this in public i would drive him to a high kill shelter

🎶ace is the place where the helpful hardware fucks🎶

considering making an anti chappell roan tiktok just to feel something

hey yeah so god descended to the top of the mountain and called me up and he told me to tell y’all there’s a new one: “thou shalt not make of a musician’s catalogue a jukebox musical until after they’re dead. it’s enough already, christ alive”

at some point in their life every millennial has had to put up with a roommate whose entire personality is liking of montreal

jeorgia o’siwa is this anything

my favorite hobby is making snap judgements about my rover clients’ significant others

foster’s eraser for imaginary heads

These are the senators who collaborated with the GOP. Schumer Fetterman Cortez Masto Durbin King Shaheen Gillibrand Schatz Hassan Peters Don’t let them forget it. No peace for them.

whole government run by this mf

acute dyke-brain

ax guy: i’m gonna chop off your leg guy with leg: oh no please don’t ax guy: okay i will wait a month guy with leg: ax guy: where’s my hug

the TATACASA is a lil old place where WE CAN SEE SOME TATAAAAAAS

The real original sin belongs to god imo for building a whole world full of thinking feeling loving beings just to suck his dick rhetorically in thanks at being alive. His second sin was trying to pretend it was our fault by setting up his garden test for us to fail then punishing us for failing it.

i’m sorry but completely miss me with those “we all have that one friend who stopped being nonbinary” and “i’m probably nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that” posts like… big dawg i am a whole nb transsexual and my life is hard enough without you making me a joke and calling it leftist humor

behold the awful jackass who has eaten his second air conditioning cord in less than one year

got too high and commented “haha yea so true bestie also the government wants me dead” on this and my gf wisely made me delete it

feeding these things one by one into the sink disposal might heal me

the fuck did a ferret ever do to brian jacques though

anakin skywalker would have been an early investor in wework. that’s all i know.

“forgot my vape at my parents’ house”: a diptych

“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?” “i think so, brain, but i’m not sure we have enough lube.”

i have no idea how to communicate with people who don’t watch reality television

just a couple guys both on hormones and psychiatric medication

stardew valley thinks putting a Platonic Smiley Face above krobus’s head will make me think it’s just a hug… nah girl that’s my husband and there’s tongue. im gonna slurp the kroboochie later and you wish you were me