Any good astrology for eloping in 2026??

Literally cannot wait to move back to my Venus line (in four days!!!!)

Need every witch out here to send me all the good vibes to win a literal COURT CASE (in small claims) against my evil landlord tomorrow

I feel so out of control right now everything is going so wrong and I just need ANY FUCKING WIN!!!!!!! Fuck eclipse season fuck nodes square my sun/rising fuck Saturn rx in Pisces back in my 10H

Trying to find housing while the south node transits your 4th house is DARK SIDED

Nothing says “you’ve been served” like Mercury moving into Libra huh

My dentist is my 1st house Uranus transit (she’s a Gemini)

NO SATURN YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO BACK INTO PISCES WTF

Been so focused on Uranus on my ascendant but forgot it will literally oppose my sun and square my moon before that………

Deciding I only need to flirt and crush on Aries placements because they’re the only ones who don’t run away scared

Hey so what did they put in this new moon cause vibes are so rancid

Told my work crush I have a crush on them. They asked why. I tell them why. They politely decline 🥲 lol

SHOUT OUT TO THESE TRANSITS RN ACTUALLY CANCER TRANSITS HAVE NEVER DONE ME WRONG ACTUALLY I LOVE YOU CANCER MOON OKAY THANK YOU MOMMY TRANSITS

Can a financial astrologer tell me what to do while both Venus and Jupiter are in Cancer in my 2nd house??

Am I going to have a consistent sleep schedule while Uranus is in my 1st house? TBD!!!!!

Corporate America is doing great y’all (I work at a grocery store)

Wow I forgot how much angular Mars transits SUCK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!

Wondering why everyone is being nitpicky assholes today and I realized Mars just moved into Virgo

MOON IN MY 4TH HOUSE RN AND MIGHT HAVE FOUND A NEW HOUSE TO MOVE INTO THAT IS CHEAPER AND BETTER THAN MY CURRENT HOUSE AND CLOSER TO WOOOOORK OMG PLEASE MANIFEST EVERYONE SORRY FOR YELLING!!!!!!

Y’all wtf is gonna happen when Uranus enters my first house I cannot even process

My most annoying employee has a Pisces moon just like me 😭 and our suns are opposite and she has mars conjunct my sun. So yeah no surprise I can’t stand her annoying ass

The way Jupiter isn’t even in my 2nd house yet but I am somehow unintentionally accumulating so many bills that I genuinely won’t know how to pay once that transit hits hahahahaha

I think the stupidest anyone is in their life is at the age of 19

Tried a new hobby today on this Taurus new moon 🥰

Saw a young raccoon outside this morning pretty close to my driveway and as soon as it saw me it literally SCREAMED and ran away 😂😂🥲🥲

IT’S 75° AND SUNNY AND I FEEL ALIVE

Had a facial yesterday for the first time ever and finally learned that dark under eye circles are GENETIC. Meanwhile my mother made it a point to criticize them and it’s probably her or my dad’s fault I even have them!!

Trump even putting tariffs on the UK is giving the stupidest uno reverse of all time

She just started an “intuitive healing” instagram account and is offering sessions??????

I love buying weed while at work

I’m literally ALWAYS EXAGGERATING unless I’m not and that’s for everyone else to figure out!!! Sorry I’m a Sagittarius

In other positive Venus retrograde news we are about to buy a SICKKKKK sectional couch from one of my partner’s regular customers and it’s MASSIVE and so well taken care of and cheap!!! Finally can have giant couch cuddle puddles

Venus is retrograde and I have a new work crush loading (on someone in a relationship and idk if they’re open or not)…..free me from this prison

Being a stoner IS my natal promise (Aquarius Saturn is my final dispositor)

Now that I think about it, I’m the only night chart in my immediate family and that is VERY CLEAR

My therapist WOULD need to reschedule after I had the most wild two weeks LOL

My brother is a sunrise chart and I’m a sunset chart, but it’s very clear that he’s truly a day chart and a I’m truly a night chart…..you feel me 🙃

Gonna use this pent up eclipse energy to rearrange my bedroom

This mother link up will be studied for centuries #survivor48

These transits for me are really manifesting as doing the hard responsible thing that sucks right now but will pay off in the future

I knew the eclipses in my 4H/10H would be wild but COME ON

Shows like Severance and the White Lotus are litmus tests for patience and attention spans. People expect every single episode of every show nowadays to be a huge moment simply because you have to “wait a whole week” which has always been the TV standard

Sara and Virginia both won with their choices on this love is blind finale. I hope men watching see that their inactivity in the current political climate is a HUGE reason behind the “male loneliness epidemic”

This is a long shot but my partner desperately needs a remote job and has a masters in literature and can write anything, loves books and reading and is very organized and communicative and if anyone knows of any remote job hiring for anything that could fit please let me know 🥺

Y’all my sister in law is getting “love and light” pilled and getting really weird all of a sudden thinking she’s a “healer empath”…anyone have any idea how I can like idk infiltrate and send her normal spiritual stuff?? I’ve never actually IRL dealt with this 😂

Maybe I’ll finally know what to do with my life when Neptune finally leaves my 10th house

I need to use this fucking app omg

This Venus retrograde pre shadow is hitting like a bag of bricks

The way Cancers love to sit in their sadness and gloom is very hard for my Sag self to jive with sometimes

I really really need an astrocartography reading at this point