Eating the suns like they are cupcakes “…Need some milk.”

So happy she can’t move.

“ biggie chyeese has saved the day ”

“WAITWAITWAI-“

She visibly cringes at the name “Gonna be honest I have no idea who she is or why I can’t control her. It’s so weird…”

“Yep. He’s gone by that for years There’s a few other rats that have names too, like Brick, but I don’t give too many names.” The rat greedily ate all its cookie chunk.

“Jerry, go crazy style.” The rat proceeds to backflip onto her shoulder

Her eyes are bright pink “…do you guys hear that tapping noise?” She’s tapping a fish tank.

Her eye is twitching “…Oh did she now.” She’s pulling out some horse shoes “And there are other sources of blood that are ethical, people with terminal diseases, cancer, victims of war. Go for them and put an end to their misery where no one else can.”

“YOU KILL PEOPLE!”

“You remind me of someone I had a crush on a long time ago and the exact opposite personality of why I had a crush.” Swapping to a third magazine

“Yeah but I hate you.”

DUMPING A SECOND MAG INTO ALUCARD

“…Oh good! I was not wanting to have to heal a moron today.” Even the other rats are looking at Winter like this is weird

Mag dumping the bullets into her chest “Bad. Bad rat.”

“No. I don’t control you because I value free will and autonomy. But I can make you.” She’s just smiling, lowering the pistol. “So drop the mask.

“Piper Don’t do it.” WHERE DID SHE GET A PISTOL FROM?!

“The next person I find out is a vampire is getting The Boats.”

“…dammit.” She noticed her. She’s getting lazy. That crossbow in her pocket could have ended all this. There was a cure, but it would take months to synthesis for a single individual. Even at a mass scale it would be impossible

“I swear to…god fucking dammit.” She’s noticed her stumbling and followed a trail of dead birds “I got a cure started.” Her scythe is drawn, but her hands stay in her pocket

“Oh I’m not. But I’m just a hench. I’m no more powerful than any other mortal.” A shot goes off through the wall, aimed at Alucard’s arm “But I know how to piss if people that threaten my property like the pests they are. So I’m going to do what should be done to pests: extermination.”

“Oh honey… You aren’t going anywhere.” Something about her words seemed to go through the vampire and settle in the area around her. In the chittering of bugs and gnashing of rats.

“Damn, sounds like someone needs to turn their ‘swag’ on and by swag, let’s just say Your Teef.”

She visibly cringes at the accusation “Ew, fuck no. I just want information, no matter how obscure and useless.”

“Hold on I really wanna test this one-“ There’s a column of emerald in her hand. How the hell did she even get that?!

“Damn. Flinches at a pool cue but not vinegar.” There’s various other blunt instruments in a line next to her

Cracking a pool cue over her head because it would be funny-

“Yeah. The plan is to get an education.” She grabs the little creature in a way where it can’t bite her

“Wrong.” She’s tying her up like a villian in an old western movie “You are going to school.”

“Name 1 of the seven continents.” She’s walking over with rope

“What is the ATP production site of cells?” Oh she’s going full teacher mode

“Alright then… 3x+7=16. Solve for X.”

“…How many feral children are in this place???”

“…is that a magical girl gator?” She chose the wrong day to read outside

Chucking Jerry like a baseball at the driver-

“…What in the actual fuck is that-“

“That settles it then! Svell it is! Thanks for the help. Let me put this thing up.” She sticks her fingers up and makes a small cut in the air, which the entire thing manages to slip into before it seals.

“So there’s Frysta, Frosti, Stone Cold, and Svell. Like I said, I’m open to other names, just need to actually pick one.”

“Hmmm…I should probably do that, but I’m still having trouble picking one.”

“Thank you! I’ve been meaning to get a name for it, but names have power and all the ones I’ve thought up are frankly terrible. They’ve all been ice puns or real people’s names. Keith doesn’t scare people.”

“That’s the main thing I use it for It also can flash freeze people and make them teleport to bodies of water. I got it made by a friend.” Which one? You’d have to beat the answer out of her.

“I could be super in depth and explain it, but it’s much easier to say that it’s effectively Dead Wikipedia. Anything that someone died knowing, this thing stores, then can share to me.”

“…fair point. I guess it is pretty cool. But I’ve been on my own training arc too. I learned a bit from this.” She taps at the orange satellite hovering around her

“…huh. Neat. I forget just how nonsense that thing can be.” Jerry emerges from her collar with a gift of a single cheese cracker.

She’s tearing up, entirely from the pain of shattering her ulna “Thank you Kiran. I’m sure she will appear somehow… Now I gotta get to the medic before I pass out from blood loss.”

“Envy. Because I miss Lissa.” She grabs her own arm and there’s an audible crack of bone

“Partially rage, partially envy, and partially the thought of baby summoners existing. But at least you’ll be a good parent.”

[Crushing a rock in her bare hands so she doesn’t kill somebody.] “Great…job…Kiiiiiiiioh god I can’t say that.”

“THERE SHE IS, GET HER LADS!” Rat swarm incoming-

“Go forth my little guys.” There’s a horde of rats baking a cake