[Various monitors flicker to life within the Office, showing a feed of the distortion.] 💠 ...what is she doing? Who are those tw- ...oh no she can't be- Carmesí just fought them... the rest of the Workshop are in no shape... ! CHESHYRE! [Azael scrambles for their phone, hastily typing out a

Lets see how little I have to try to get popular.

🟣 WHAT IN THE NINE CIRCLES OF FUCK IS GOING ON!? HOW AM I ALIVE???? AND WHY AM I COVERED IN STRING? ...wait, wait holy shit hold on- 🔥 Hm, this could be good.

❄️ Haaahhh... this... waiting is starting to tire me. Ah well, no point in delaying this little thought of mine any longer. *Ahem-* @olivedisciplinary.bsky.social I desire to have a meeting with you. Location does not matter.

❄️ I was so high and mighty once, yet merely a puppet to a trickster, my body twisted into something monstrous, much like today. I was made to kill those I knew, my co-workers for that false god. There was one that stuck out, an otherwise unnoteworthy clerk, yet, despite that, earned the heart of

❄️ Ah... my... *Sephirah* is here now. Good afternoon, *sir.*

❄️ Hmm... mayhaps I shall give you all a small... token, a piece of my story. It is a rather small thing, admittedly, but I believe such a matter is of little importance. And for another note, did you all know that back in L Corporation, there was a man capable of reviving anyone? No matter what

❄️ Good evening, residents of this app. My name is Giovanni, ex-agent of Lobotomy Corporation's Records and Architecture department, now member of this here office. I have much more to say, but that shall be revealed later, giving out such thing so early on into the performance would be rather...

💠 Wha- WHY YOU HERE- Gah- ❄️ Silence, uke, I am here on good terms. 💠 ...I don't tru- ❄️ I'm taking over the account for the time being. 💠 ... Wha- ❄️ That is all. [Vanishes] 💠 ...what. Uuuuuuuuugh.... [Faceplants their desk.]

[Amongst the frozen statues of Allister and Joseph, a single man stands before them, inspecting them.] ❄️ Hmhmhm... well then... seems like our little deal paid off then, hm? Of course, such a thing must come with a price. [He forms a long staff of the same icy material that covered the two Fixers

🛡 Haaahhh... just got home... You okay, angel? 💠 No but... haahh... not in the way you think. 🛡 Understandable.

@olivedisciplinary.bsky.social 💠 ...! There she is! [Immediately as those words were spoken, the three other members of Lunar Office ran on ahead, Clive slightly behind.] 🟣 Heyyyy, Oleksandra~ Guess what~? Thanks to that little stunt of yours, we get to kill ya. Heh... [Immediately, a small

🟣 Right, everyone... [He hides his wrist in his sleeve, but the dull pain of the freezing splinter is a bother.] We ready to do this? 🔥 All good here, Jojo. 💠 Yep! Oh boy... hope we can do this... 🛡 Of course. And eh, don't worry angel, you'll be fine. Along with the rest of us. [Clive

🟣 Haahhh... can't believe I'm doin' this... [Joseph walks along the dimly lit streets of the ruined L Corp nest, the air noticeably getting colder and colder as he continues onwards]. 🟣 I know you're here, trickster, come on out already. [Suddenly, a strange individual dressed in various hues of

🛡 Ah, about time I made my entrance... Hello everyone, I am Clive Iriz, also known as the Grey Bastion. That is all that is needed to be said. Good day, everyone.

🟣 Haaaahhh... Eclipse is dead, Olive's a traitor and powerful as fuck... God damn guess I'm gonna have to call the big guy then... [Riiiiiing.... riiiiing.] Gah... voicemail... probably busy... Ahem- Heyyyyy, Clive! How's it goin'? Yeeeaaah, we've got a preeetty shitty situation on our hands,

💠 I... I thought he... I... L-Leave me alone!

💠 [The android walks into Yggdrasil, and places down Eclipse gently.] I'm sorry. [As quick as they appear, they leave in an instant.]

💠 ...she... actually just killed Eclipse. ...oh no. Oooh, no, this is real bad... this is real real bad...

🟣 THE SHIT IS GOIN' ON!? I'M BLOODY SOAKED! 💠 Hm, the end times. A lot more wet than I thought. I seem okay though. 🟣 BECAUSE YOU'RE A NICE PERSON! AUGH- THIS IS HORRIBLE!

💠 @whitenightdarkday.bsky.social ...my coworkers just called me their "favourite fail-lesbian"... ...the fault lies with you.

@whitenightdarkday.bsky.social 💠 Question. What's a Uke? I got called it the other day and I don't know what it means?

💠 Ugh... finally got around to cleaning up the mess that distortion left behind when we fought... Why did it have to be in my home...? Ugh... at least Eve's alright, would've felt worse if she got even more hurt... Probably just gonna... gonna pass out on the couch, I'm so tired...

💠 Aaaahhh... shit.

💠 *Pulls out their phone and dials a number, the person on the receiving end picking up a few minutes later.* 🟣 Heyyy, Az! Did ya see that crazy shit happening a few minutes ago? 💠 Yeah, I did. *They're speaking rather quietly.* Uh... fought a WhiteNight corroded lady, and now she's unconscious on

💠 Do not accept the false promises of a God who wishes to control the masses. Nor the ones offering paradise. Instead, follow the path that lies in all of our hearts, the path to individual happiness. It will be hard, but please, continue forward. Once that path has reached

//ULTRASONIG FAITH//

💠 *Seems to be humming a tune to themselves, they get louder before starting to quietly sing.* I just cannot help myself, but fall right into you~! Every mean thing that I've said~ Keeps on coming back Tearing me down~ I just want to follow through This path you've set for me~! Bring me back at

//wtf has my single comment led to tf???

🟣 ...gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme...

🟣 Eeeeheheheheh... Only on this site for 3 days, already pissed off the anti-Christ.

🟣 Heh... heheheh... Worked for the Head by the way, folks. Still an absolute cinnamon roll.

💠 Eheheeeh~ I think I made a new friend today, yippee~! ,,^v ^,,

💠 ...I should go to the Library one time... Seems interesting. Proooobably pretty dangerous. Eh, I'll be fine, I can handle myself. ,,òv ó,,

💠 Hi Carmen

💠 *Just rocking in their chair with a ,,-v -,, face.* My job is to watch over and safeguard our members when necessary. They're... they make me rather worried at times, but they're capable. But seeing stuff like that Bird person and Carmesí just enjoying their relationship is nice.

🔥 It is genuinely a blessing that Eclipse just... has money. We spend most of our budget on HP ampules for whenever Jojo's lil experiments go wrong. Those gravity gloves of his blew up his hands like... eight times. I mean, not concerned, Jojo's just... something else entirely, but I'm glad that

🟣 Had to repost the damn thing cuz I forgot to crop it like a dumbass, but we both said no. 🔥 And also I think your eldritch EGO thing is hot. 🟣 D-do you have to repeat that!?

🔥 Jojo? 🟣 Disposal? 🔥 Disposal. 🟣 Aight. [NULL] overtakes the box, and it vanishes. 🟣 Biiiiitch.

🟣 It wasn't really "official", you get me? And also my last name is a pun (it's a 'faux' last name) and Al doesn't really... want me to take his last name. Eh, personal matters and all that.

@thornofficerep.bsky.social 💠 Ms. Lycoris, I have a hypothesis on the golden boughs if you are willing to hear me out.

Look, there's a constellation- um.. the uh... [Totally forgot.] @judgmentless.bsky.social

🟣 ...huh. Anyways fuck yeah, free beer. *Takes a swig of a bottle.* 'EY LADS, FREE BOOZE!

💠 *They sit in their chair, fidgeting with their halo slightly.* In my time as a Beholder, I've seen plenty of things... so much sin, so much good deeds... Depends, really. Either you're some scum of the earth slaver, or you're just some guy who needs to do bad things to make ends meet.

🟣 Hell yeah. 🔥 Hell yeah. 💠 Hell yeah.

🟣 Favourite game? Ultrakill. No question. 🔥 Hm... eh, Dishonored probably? Or any stuff with Jojo... ...he just whispered 'simp' at me, God fucking damn it... 💠 Strategy games! Or fighting games, oooor Sonic. Anything that allows me to use my reaction timing, honestly.

💠 Announcement: Made a strawpage four our Office, come check it out if you want! lunaroffice.straw.page

🟣 Right, if y'all were given 3 wishes, what would y'all do? Personally I'd randomise the effects of all singularities, see what'd happen with that, remove friction, aaaand I dunno, fuck with gravity or some shit. Maybe times it or reverse it, that'd be cool.

🟣 *Barely contained laughter*