T: *brings up The Oregon Trail* S: what is this game T: well when I was in 6th grade in 1994… All Ss: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT

I was required to [redacted] because of [redacted] but I can’t present an opinion of [redacted] because [redacted], which is [redacted].

I would have to take 20 days off a school year for the next 10 school years to deplete my accrued PTO

T: and this is 19+19 S: I know what that is do you know T: 38 S: good job, proud of you *fist bump*

In this 1:1 era I find myself making more copies than ever

(can you tell I think geometry is the most boring thing on earth)

NEXT TIME ON TRIANGLES: what if triangle INSIDE other triangle!?

S1: ok so 4x - 17 = 5x + 14? S2: yessssssss S1: I was asking the guy that works here and teaches me, not you

if I chose to make children believe the interior angles of a triangle added up to 190 I could make it so, but because I do not, I should be praised, be thankful I have not unleashed this curse into the world

S: *singing poorly* T: stop [S] S: I’m just trying to sing T: yeah but it’s not good S: what if this is my dream to sing T: we might need a new dream

kids suffer in math in the morning not because it’s early but because their teacher doesn’t figure out the good way to explain things until after lunch

S: Mister what was your favorite y— T: 2018 S: really b— T: it’s not even a question, I’ve peaked, I’m sorry you met me on my down slide

other fascinating discovery of the year because I don’t know what went wrong before they got to me: 3x + 10 = 8x - 17 Will get simplified by *many* children to 11x = -7

Geometry just needs to be two units: * Yep, it adds to 180! * Ok, but what if we cut it in half like THIS?

if I'm elected mayor of NYC, no one in America will be allowed to have serious conversations on speakerphone in public places

college in the early 2000s was so quaint because so much was still analog (paper maps, landline dorm phones, big textbooks and handwritten notes) but it wasn't uncommon for people to have laptops and semester by semester more buildings got wifi

S: help me T: what if I don’t want to S: but that’s your job T: I quit

does that stolen base get everyone in Canada free Tim Bits?

the spookiest part of Halloween is the rent being due in the morning

I’ve been at my school forever, what’s crazy is there’s a couple people who had been there forever when I started and they are still here

T: these two congruency theorems are fake, just like your boyfriend S: 😲 T: I didn’t mean yours

I bought some food from a food truck called “Foreign Policy” and OHMAN did my bank start freaking out about “foreign transactions”

“well the calculus changed…” “you mean e^x is no longer its own derivative?”

grades are like the least accurate way of telling if anyone knows anything and yet

around here you measure your longevity in how many times you’ve seen them reconfigure the same highway interchange

I don’t think anyone who says they enjoy their 40s is telling the truth

About to do triangle congruency methods, which is the exact topic that Jesse Spano overdosed on caffeine pills to study

T: *picks up paper to show class* T: ok I’m about to pass out…you know what, end of sentence, I’m about to pass out.

well

17 years in the business and I’m now very good at public speaking and eye rolling

ever had a class that’s extremely high energy (everyone knows everyone, chatting in the background constantly) but simultaneously are listening to everything you say, it is a wild dynamic to work with

a million years later, this is still the neatest thing I've ever made, with huge help to the person at TMC13 (!) who figured out how to make the planets orbit www.desmos.com/calculator/d...

I have done something very exciting and scary.

Canadians are celebrating Thanksgiving and people down here are still having pool parties

remember when you paid rent by putting a check in an envelope and passing it underneath the office door? wild

Since 2000, the Yankees and Astros have the highest number of World Series appearances (5). A bananas stat, though both are 2-3. The Red Sox are 4-0, the Giants 3-0.

It’s so hot. Summer never ends.

I’m convinced microwaves are only good at heating up containers and not the things they contain

for mental health awareness day I will avoid crashing out to the extent that I make the local news

I have lots of problems with CollegeBoard, but I will say that the online administration mechanism for the PSAT is worlds better than the old way

Q: what two grade levels were impacted by 2020 for the Class of 2026?

S *eats* T wow eating chips and you’re not even going to offer me some S *offers* T no I’m good thanks S 😑

some days I can do this for the full 30 years, other days I’m quitting on Halloween

inside me there are two…uh, these things?

perfectly normal list of answers

I like to confuse kids by providing elements of backstory that are metaphorically true but not factually so

the Astros have been playing like they all forgot they booked a bunch of non refundable airline tickets for a vacation next week

is there a dance team in all of Texas that isn’t “award winning” ?

I, a lifelong not morning person, have spent a lifetime in a very morning person industry.

In the episode of Boy Meets World where Mr Feeny says goodbye to the empty classroom, there are only 12 desks, no objective on the board, and no word wall.