I have it in good authority* that Quero read this article before his at-bat in the tenth. *”Good Authority” is the name of the made-up guy I use to give me scoops about things I want to be true

I wrote this article back in February because i anticipated his outing tonigt for the Cubs. It was never a waste of time. Nobody ever thought that. www.southsidesox.com/chicago-whit...

Pretty neat trick how I waited until the Sox broke .500 to finally do some goddamned work around here.

Antonacci has to have so many bruises constantly. I bet he looks like a leopard with his clothes off.

The White Sox middle of the order just scored a professional run in the third: -Vargas walk -Colson single, Vargas first to third (helmet stayed on!) -Meidroth sac fly It was beautiful.

WHITE SOX TRIVIA It’s May 5, and the White Sox have three qualified hitters with an OPS above .800 (Mune, Colson, Vargas.) Can you name the last time the White Sox had three hitters with an OPS above .800 and at least 35 games played before the end of May? Answer in the replies.

“Oh no, I spent all offseason assuming that I could just regurgitate the most cynical takes about the White Sox and sound like a ball knower! Everyone is going to know I’m a fraud unless I can learn about Davis Martin immediately!” I got u. www.southsidesox.com/chicago-whit...

It’s now May 5. Davis Martin is cruising through another six innings. Miguel Vargas is one of your new favorite players. You have a tab open to the 2025 White Sox on B-Ref and you’re asking how Colson finished behind Jacob Wilson in ROY voting. It’s close to midnight and you’re getting colder…

Davis Martin rules.

Another reason to love the White Sox! (Purses are banned from Sox Park, to be clear, but you can always find a gate where the security is completely checked out and nobody cares.)

Is it a uniquely White Sox phenomenon where the team will do a smart thing that works, but the entire fanbase has a pathological need to reframe it as organization incompetence?

The Sox are very reckless with these midgame family interviews. One of these days you’re gonna record a mom watching his son get banged on.

Luisangel Acuña makes the cheapest outs I’ve seen in a while.

The hidden thesis of this article is “I never write sober.”

Once again, the White Sox did not score any runs after the third inning today.

I appreciate the hit-and-run as much as anybody, but you can’t get so cute that you bail out a pitcher who can’t find the plate.

I love my beautiful, patient White Sox boys.

The major league record for starts in a season is 75, shares by both Pud Galvin (1883) and Will White (the guy from the meme)

We can pencil in 81 home wins for the 2026 White Sox right now.

Jo Adell should just get 1 WAR for tonight’s game. No formulas or nothing. Just 1 full WAR, period end of story.

Ah, okay. I understand how GMs keep talking themselves into Everson Pereira.

Despite traveling 89 fewer feet, Colson Montgomery clocked a quicker bat speed on his home run than Vladdy’s. That elite bat speed is Colson’s floor setter unless he strikes out 220+ times.

These are the pitches I throw in Road to the Show that get me 3,000 career strikeouts before my 30th birthday.

New on South Side Sox: the White Sox think baseball games are only three innings long. I offer the proof — www.southsidesox.com/chicago-whit...

Okay but what if the White Sox are a great home team? Okay?

Murakami’s splits are going to be gnarly, I fear.

Luisangel Acuña and Tristan Peters

Clearest you can hear the field mics on a broadcast, ranked: 1. The Freddie Gray game 2. Tonight, a random Tuesday in Miami

Everyone is going to get so mad about my “Manfred is good, actually” take in 7 to 12 years.

White Sox fans and Tokyo Yalkut Swallows fans should agree to some sort of sister city cultural exchange program. I do not have the energy nor the expertise to facilitate this.

Update: They’ve adapted pretty quickly, tbh. Fair play to the Japanese.

uh oh i am forming a deep trauma bond with the murakami garbage time home run.

Always a good sign when you start Googling phrases like “worst opening day losses White Sox”

Me in therapy, offseason: “I just want to be a better man than my father.” Me in therapy two weeks from today: “I swear to god, Miguel Vargas winked at the camera before he struck out. I think he was winking at me. They’re fucking with me, this whole team is fucking with me.”

DM’s are open if anybody wants to discuss CZW’s Ultraviolent Tournament of Death I or II.

“White Sox Opening Day is tomorrow!” Me:

They’re calling it “an article that has been published.”

These are America’s Dork Ages. Performativly macho yet hypersensitive. War treated like a video game. Bringing in the patron saint of 21st century American dorks, a guy who helped kill bin Laden and is still a vibe-killing aggro doofus, to speak to your team. Dorks in every facet of government. Ugh.

This one might actually work out well long term, because it goes a long way to explain why Dillingham has looked so busted. You’re telling me this dude won’t look one million percent better when they take the cysts out of his wrist? What do you mean the bandages help to prevent an accidental burst?

It’s now March 10. Two different Sox hitters have dropped dong in Houston against the USA. You’re starting to sweat.

“I have the most cynical White Sox take, making me the smartest White Sox knower.”

First ballot Hall of Fame White Sox brain rot. Shane Smith was a two pitch reliever topping out at 93 in Milwaukee’s system.

This third inning has been dangerous for those of us desperate to talk themselves into Luisangel Acuña.

Some people are saying the 2026 spring training White Sox bought some secret stuff from the 1927 Yankees estate sale but those people are also saying the results are purely psychosomatic (they drank pee.)

Sandlin has now confirmed he’s working on a kick changeup, via James Fegan.

Others Frisch-era nepotism inductions that I would retract from the Hall: Jesse Haines George Kelly Chick Hafey I’d want to take a closer look at Dave Bancroft’s case, as well. Ross Youngs was Frisch’s broken clock.

Gotta give credit to the White Sox marketing team. I didn’t like the new City Connects at first, but they’ve since checked off my single most important metric for determining whether or not a jersey is cool: “Has it become a regular template for Mexican sandlot league knockoffs?”

I feel very bad for all these well-meaning Japanese baseball fans who come online and say “I’d like to know more about the Chicago White Sox!” just to get met by a buzz saw of trauma-dumping.

Murakami post from a few days ago. A lot of good writing from the SSS team in the immediate aftermath.