Mankind is dead. Blood is fuel. Thank goodness for fire exsanguishers.

Sorry. Can't. Have to go to sleep tomorrow.

First-person shooter maps if they were named like Mario levels: flagrant con conflagration.

Snap! is amazing.

A lawyer, increasingly frustrated by the constant interruptions of her cadre of loyal paralegals, asks for parapets to be installed around her office. Somewhere, the monkey paw curls.

What are little boys made of? What are little boys made of? Three-in-one Snips, snails And puppy-dogs' tails That's what little boys are made of.....

In for a dollar, in for a dime, that’s why I mess up age-old adages on company time.

In addition to the human factors, single-use explosives are terrible for the environment.

– (bounty hunter voice) There was this one juvenile, fresh out of middle-school. Serial litterer. Wanted alive for $20. It was pretty easy to track down the little pip-squeak and... he was just plain irredeemable. - (random onlooker voice) Goodness! – There wasn't a lick of that in him either.