🎶It's beginning to feel a lot like Trussmas🎶

"We won't increase income tax, we'll just increase the amount of income tax paid. That'll fool 'em." said the British government earlier.

Another day in Britain then...

I was wrong to reject tulips. Flowers of the genus Tulipa save labour, increase productivity and allow dimwits to pass for experts. They are the most potent spring-blooming perennial herbaceous bulbiferous geophytes available. Sell all you have and invest in OpenTULIP.

We Scots allow this unhinged cavalcade of absurdists to govern us. We may be the most tragic nation in Europe.

1990s Robert: "It's horrible being a Scot under British misgovernment. But at least Britain provides a certain degree of stabiltiy." 2020s Robert, stepping out of a time machine: "Bad news Robert."

Never gets old.

Mia Wallace & Gromit As requested by Paul Savage

"We're uniquely stable" was of course one of largest pieces of self-congratulatory British horseshite.

Nuh. I shall never be one o thae wet Nats who imagine that the BBC can be engaged with. The BBC is our enemy. Our relentless and intractable enemy.

The current Broons artist's failure to understand the physical properties of haggis is the surest sign yet of Scotland's accelerating cultural degeneration.

"returning"

Triple labubus

The cult of the BBC is the third most potent dogma of British nationalism. Only the cults of the NHS and the second world war hold more influence over the faithful.

2014: "Vote no, or you'll lose the special relationship and are Precious BBC. Including even Doctor Who, michty me." 2025: "The USA wants to close are Precious BBC. This is entirely normal. Now move along Jock."

The Baroness Smith's daughter, for example, who was caught out misrepresenting the SNP several times, was merely shunted to a nice new job in New York.

I can't recall an occasion when someone at the BBC resigned for being dishonest about the SNP. Despite an endless stream of dishonesty about the SNP. Perhaps I'm going prematurely senile...

Nuh. If you've spent your life pretending that the BBC doesn't have an editorial agenda, you can't complain about it being punished for having an editorial agenda. You hypocritcal Brit-ninnies.

The feeling that comes with last paying the TV license in April 2014:

I believe that I just witnessed a modern reboot of Bullseye hosted by a minor cricketeering celebrity.

*bong bong bong* This is the BBC. Here is the news. Our world-leading, independent and impartial public broadcaster continues to demonstrate British soft power through public servi *faint buzz of conversation just out of hearing* Ah. *sound of announcer hurling himself off Westminster bridge*

Being a scientific admirer of James Watson is very much like being a musical admirer of Morrissey. I request privacy at this difficult time.

HAPPY FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE

I'll admit: Plagiarism software can give the correct answer. Sometimes.

AstraZenca to invest further in China

Sandwiches Don't Kill People, Wraps Do.

"Socialists? Heavens no! Not OUR sort of people at all." said every Labour party figure interviewed on the 5th of November 2025.

Remember remember, The fifth of November. Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my! Um. Where was I?

Here I am, recalling the guid auld days when Dick Cheney was certainly the worst that the USA could throw at the world...

from 2003

Fascinating comparison of Guy Fawke’s signature before and after he was forced to watch an episode of Mrs Brown’s Boys

🧵 Westminster politicians have said some wild stuff over the years about Scotland… Here are just a few of their real quotes – and a reminder of why Scotland needs the power to choose its own future.

"... The former Prince will be moved to a private residence on the Sandringham Estate owned by the King."

AI sitcom accidentally a Lynchian fever dream. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and insane lament.

Salmond: My vanity party collapsed into a comical rabble in less than a year. Corbyn: Hold my coconut water.

Labour are pulling all the tired old slurs, that they pulled so unsuccessfully against the SNP, against the Anglo-Welsh Greens now.. We allows these tedious lackwits to govern us, mind...

“For the first time in many of our lives, actually, Britain looks like a little haven of peace and stability” Andrew Marr off of the BBC, The 5th of July 2024.

"With credible big hitters like Craig Murray, Your Party will have the SNP's wokerati quaking in their vegan sandals." #BuyAPaper

SOMEHOW the Continuity Corbyn Cult is becoming an even more amusing binfire than Alba was. www.thenational.scot/news/2557447...

"It's different this time" said Mr. A. Shill, earlier. "An end to boom and bust."

So home and to bed with quiett mind, blessed be God, but afeard of my candle’s going out, which makes me write thus slubberingly.

Schismatics gonna schism, schism, schism, schism, schism. I'm just gonna Chisholm, Chisholm, Chisholm, Chisholm, Chisholm. Um. Where was I?

This particular lifelong schismatic has so far been a nuisance to: 1. The Labour party 2. "The Independent Labour network" 3. The SSP 4. "Solidarity" 5. The SNP 6. Alba 7. Jeffrey Corbyn's Lonely Hearts Club Band

I'll put my clocks sideways tonight. Except for the one on the mantelpiece which will be put orthogonal to the ecliptic. I like to be contrary...

It's here. And, like everything made by a true artist, it has improved the world.

Accidentally releasing one of the most notorious criminals of the day...