"I can show you how to make a screaming hole!"

"In the land of no thumbs the clumsy kid in shop class is king!"

"I will gladly sacrifice one of my thumbs to not be a monkey."

"That's it, everyone is rolling up a wisp character to haunt a suit of armor and I'm running the campaign in Lancer from now on."

"It's not every day you get to use a jetpack upside down."

"Every full moon I lose all my bones!"

"A WERE MOON!?" "Ancient wizard messes up a spell and now once a month transforms into a 3000 mile wide sphere of stone!"

"The existence of vampire squid implies the existence of werewolf squid."

"Now the ent has a swim speed."

DM: "...The water rises up from the well into a towering column near the ceiling." Artificer: "...How Wyrd."

Artificer: "This thing's flipping me the pedipalps!"

Barbarian: "As long as it's Shelob and not Ungoliant, I'm okay."

Cleric: "The atmosphere! The vibes! The Aura Farming!"

Bard: "Well, I don't believe I'm under the effect of any magical compulsions, so I guess I'll leave the path." DM: "...Give me a DC 15 Charisma Saving Throw." Bard: "...Uh oh."

Artificer: "Be careful, [Porter], the cylinder must remain unharmed."

Bard: "You'd think it'd be good at negotiation, since it has so many mouths."

DM: "[Barbarian] does some bullshit..."

Cleric: "...Why did we come here again?" Sorceress: "[Wizard's] wife is a lot."

"We're not doing elbow damage."

"Your metaphor privileges are revoked."

"He was very wombat coded."

Cleric: "Something's coming... but not hard or fast."

GM: "There's a good ropey color... I already regret saying that."

Sorceress: "We're going to give Strahd a Reverse Sneeze."

"If you go down deep enough, all vampires are a little emo guy."

DM: "I'll run this Theater of the Mind. I'll run this Theater of the Mind SO FAST."

Ranger: "Body bag of holding?"

Ranger: "Now now, there's no need to be absolutely savage..." Artificer: "I disagree."

Artificer: "I guess we're going to drop the body of and then go to..." Ranger: "Therapy?"

Artificer: "[Steel Defender], avenge me... and don't let [Bard] near my body..."

"I wasn't expecting a war cleric to be so *passive aggressive*."

Barbarian: "Snickersnack, Reckless Attack!"

Ranger: "Kill the wounded, take the loot! ...Sorry, force of habit."

Bard: "Is that where your pyramid is?" Artificer: "The sacred Bass Pro Shop."

"At what level did you get microaggressions as a class feature?"

Artificer: "I've always had a tail! It's been here the whole time!"

"Buddy, you're one hell of a wingman! Were you an Aarakocra in a past life?"

"My last girlfriend was a brick shithouse! This is definitely an upgrade!"

Wizard: "You know what? If you have the puppet's consent..."

DM: "You detect that you are the bottom of a staircase, and if someone rolled something down it, it would hit you and hurt you."

Cleric: "I liked him better before I saw his face."

Cleric: "I'm a [Lastname], I have to annoy people or I'll explode."

Barbarian: "I come from a long line of miners!" Artificer: "...Doesn't everyone?"

Bard: "We'll be back, big pool of golden liquid!"

Barbarian: "So did you mistake the manatee for a topless woman with a fish tail at any point?" Bard: "No, but I did fuck it."

"You're tasting every flavor of the PAINBOW today!"

"You can't blast me, I'm in the MILK!"

DM "The monster shoots four beams." Fighter "Like lasers or like 2x4s?" Sorcerer "STEEL GIRDERS!"

"These things weren't made by the Chimera, they just ate too many TIDE PODS."

"It's like drunk driving, but for existential dread."