Airlines should let you fly in a dog cage for like $15 less than a regular ticket so that the cargo hold will be filled with an even mix of real perverts and real tightwads

ME 2 YEARS FROM NOW: We should build a bunch of cool weird sculptures in the desert to confuse future generations of explorers 😀 ARCHAEOLOGISTS 2000 YEARS FROM NOW: In the artistic movement known to us moderns as "Tryhardbullshitism",

When it comes to embedding axes skulls are a classic place to do that

Yes yes my driver's license says I'm an organ donor but where's the box I can check to let the surgeons know that if I'm in a terrible accident and they need to reconstruct my face that they should fem it up a bit

Uncovering the race of lizardmen who secretly control society and being insanely relieved they're German coded

Imagine entering a euthanasia pod after your wife of 50 years recently passed away and the only MST3K episodes they have on the Sedation Screen are from the reboot

Wow! This Dollgirl Is Six Inches Tall, Immobile, And Is Not Nor Has It Ever Been Sentient

I'm glad that the US has the Mississippi it would be so humiliating to be a superpower without one of the world's major river systems

Chappell Roan's qi is low. Drag the Chappell Roan icon onto the Sacred Grotto to replenish her qi and receive your next mission

Bald men should be executed for the crime of reminding us of our mortality.

Whenever I’m on the street children throw large pebbles at me and say “This is only somewhat due to your bad Bluesky posts. There are multiple reasons for this.”

Do you think anyone's ever gone blind in one eye from comedically blowing up a condom like a balloon until it popped