More like HalliburtOFF

Apparently the odds of a manaphy egg hatching a manaphy instead of a phione in PokeRogue is 1/8, and I've hatched 16 so far, all phiones. 11.8% odds. Am annoyed lol

Apparently the ballroom budget has ballooned to $300M. He is siphoning off so much cash, I fucking guarantee it

Thank you, national guard, for getting rid of all the crime in DC (except my car getting stolen at some point in the past 60 hours)

@piatpod.bsky.social Guess an update episode is in order? www.nbcmiami.com/news/nationa...

Just woke up from a dream where someone spoiled the new season of Hazbin Hotel, and one of the spoilers was that Wile E. Coyote fucked Meowth all the way down to the ninth circle of hell

@maryltrump.bsky.social I've read your book to your uncle over a 1500W loudspeaker in lafayette square twice in the last week, can I get a bag, or permission to sell a recording of it as an audiobook?

I need a compilation of clips of Stephen Colbert and/or Jimmy Kimmel saying mean things about Trump. I've recently taken to noise protests outside the white house, and I'm focusing on things that will specifically upset him to play over my 1500W loudspeaker. Anyone got any playlists for me?

@piatpod.bsky.social If y'all venmo me $200 I'll play the Frank Bourassa episode of Citation Needed on a 1500W loudspeaker for the Secret Service police outside the white house RIGHT NOW

He plans to test their "warrior ethos" by making each of them swear an oath to blow into his car's breathalyzer interlock for him whenever he asks them to

An actual measured, bold, and empathetic take from the guy I followed for his smooth brain takes after his name came up in a weird dream I had? Unfollowed. (Not really, I'm very happy to see you taking this stance; keep it up, Will!)

There is one hard and fast rule when it comes to copyright infringement. You don't fuck with mice. Mickey and Pikachu are off limits. Were they pissed that Disney pushed back on the Kimmel thing so they decided to poke the 'Chu instead? Did they think famously litigious Nintendo WON'T sue them?

The breeding center is like a pokemon spa ... one with a very happy ending

It's always jarring how comfortable they are with showing guns in the OG pokemon anime

The fact that Giovanni hasn't fired Jessie and James is a weirdly strong testament to how robust Japanese labor laws are

More pokemon. Paras episode was interesting, with Meowth simping for Cassandra. Jigglypuff episode is full of the writer's barely disguised fetish

Pikachu is now noticeably less chonky than he was in the beginning of the episode

The only stigma involving carrying Narcan should be when I stigma Narcan in someone's nose 🥁 (there's no cymbal emoji) I'll see myself out

I literally followed this dude cause I had a dream that a former student of mine referenced being his daughter, and then stayed for some of the most garbage takes I've ever seen. You never disappoint, yet somehow, simultaneously, never fail to disappoint, Will. Way to be.

I literally just realized why sheer force is called that, cause it's the opposite of serene grace

More pokemon, more anti capitalist messaging. Wildlife fucking up a power plant by bogging down water flow, funnily enough. (Grimer in, I believe, Gringey town?) Also, it seems like the lesson is that pollution makes your population depressed, pretty forward thinking for 1997

Fuck it, I'll start my pokemon anime thoughts as a thread That raft they landed on seems really well constructed

Should I be posting these thoughts as replies in a single thread, instead of individual skeets? God that phrasing conjures quite the image

Also Meowth with "I hate water! Especially WET water!" Iconic

Why did they not tie themselves to the water pokemon BEFORE Charmander started to burn through the hull? They're rushing to tie themselves as the water rushes in

Also, the scene with Pikachu and Caterpie talking in episode 3 is genuinely one of the most heartwarming things I've ever seen, and I'm so glad I was reminded of its existence. It's one of those scenes that's genuinely so cute it unironically nearly elicits tears

I know Team Rocket fight dirty, but team pikachu was definitely making a big deal about how you should do 1v1s, and then they do 4v2 against them on the sunken ship

Wait there's regular fish in the pokemon cannon? I guess in gen 1, raichu's dex entry also references being able to knock out an Indian elephant

The rendition of Taps played by the honor guard cop for Ash and the gang (I think it's appropriate to include Jessie and James as part of the gang) is really fast

Having a girlfriend who's enjoying getting crossfaded and bingeing pokemon a few nights a week is honestly amazing I'm so freakin in love with this nerd, for this and a thousand other reasons <3

Wait, are Misty and Jessie the same VA? I guess so, nice voice work on her part!

I'm glad the hordes that spawn occasionally in gen 6 can't do these pyramid attacks that they're doing in this episode lol

Meowth: "Keep suckin em up!"

Jesus fuck, Brock. Her husband is right there

No wonder Ash says bye bye to butterfree, fucker doesn't know how to fight with it!

Why tf does Ash keep wanting to use physical attacks from his butterfree? It's a terrible physical attacker. Also, this scammer that sells James the magikarp has some VERY problematic voicework

What's with this fuckin southern debutante couple on the St Anne?

If I recall correctly, Giovanni gets really mad at Jessie and James over how expensive a collect call they placed to him was when they get to his giant pokemon theme park with the animatronics and shit in part 2

This is the one where they play taps after they think everyone died, isn't it? My grandparents had this two-parter on VHS when I was a kid, so I watched it quite a bit back then

Episode 15: James's first time crossdressing. Good for him That said, their spray tans do border on blackface

Jessie: "We've built our fame on shame!" Meowth: "It's all the s(h)ame to me!" Absolute god tier writing

Ash: "Don't worry Jenny" That's OFFICER Jenny to you, you disrespectful fuck (Does ACAB include Officer Jenny? I know the cops in the games obviously are included, they're straight up profiling the player, but Jenny feels different)

Good on the Squirtle Squad for double crossing Team Rocket But holy fuck these 30 minute toy commercials get kinda violent

Officer Jenny: STOP! He's not with Team Rocket! Girlfriend: So it would've been fine to blow his head off if he was???

The artificial sense of urgency imposed by the pokerap by reminding you that you have to watch it 5 nights a week is a solid choice, if a little underhanded. Also OH MY GOD THEY ALL JUST PULLED GUNS ON ASH

The narration in the series gets real meta in the gen 1 starter trio episodes But also, fuck yeah, Squirtle Squad!

Melanie must be real sick of Bulbasaur's shit, she's not consulting Bulbasaur AT ALL when pawning it off onto Ash

Jesse and James referred to their intro as a motto and said they don't need a theme song, but it's too long to be a motto. A spoken word theme song is still a theme song, and that's the best way to describe their intro poem

My girlfriend was also understandably horrified when they saw Jynx for the first time O_O That gen 1 art was fuckin ROUGH

Also James, you're a grown man, you can't say that about a child, even if the anime is meant to make her a heartthrob. Ash owing Misty a new bike is a good meme, though. Time for the pokerap