Another night of melting in bed 🥲

Lolz at the news today 🤣

Went out on a Sunday night 🤪🫥

Today I woke up with Ashlee Simpson’s Pieces of Me stuck in my head and I’m not sure what this means for my day 🤪🤪🤪

I’ve just been reminded how slutty my gym shorts can be 💀💀💀

Getting in some pet time 🐶🐈

Made a new friend at the pub quiz last night 🐶

Who knew my cheesecake pic would be so popular! Here’s an update pic 🤣

It’s been a day, so obviously I made a cheesecake 🤪

Forgot plants will grow towards the light 🤪🤪🤪

I guess the question is: why wouldn’t I wake up at 6:23am on a Sunday?

The doggy date was kinda cute 🐶

Tonight’s dinner date

I got called “uncle” by a group of lads in a car yesterday and I’m still mortified 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Did gym 🏋🏽‍♂️

Can you find them all?

It’s madness how much I want a nap right now 😬😬😬😬 Lowkey convinced someone has a voodoo doll of me and is dowsing it with sleepy time tea 😴😴😴

Did a Sunday gym 🏋🏽‍♂️

Pastry because democracy

It’s been a good day for the cards

Does this count as a slutty lil’ waist?

Will a pastry make me feel less meh this morning? 🤔

Well that’s a lot of potassium

Still in bed though

Why am I already away 😭😭😭

Wednesday pre-work cardio class ✅

Hit a lazy procrastination wall 😬😬😬😬

I took an amazing dick pic but everyone is asleep so I have no one to DM it to 😭😭😭

Happy Miss Congeniality Day to all those who celebrate

I did it 🎉🎉🎉

Thinking about taking a day trip to the seaside. But do I go Brighton or Margate??? 🤔

Wouldn’t it be amazing to be reincarnated as a nepo baby 🤪

Love a pre office day gym session 🤪🤪🤪

Stubbed my toe putting a plaster on my shin. Love this for myself 😭😭😭

Accidentally made 2.2kg of a chicken spinach paneer curry 🤪🤪🤪

Because Sunday?

I’ve just learnt I’ll be in charge of giving out drink tokens at my friends wedding. The power is going to go to my head isn’t it? 🤪🤪🤪

Well that was a fun start to the day 🎉🎉🎉

Getting ready for the gym

I think I’m ready for the weekend already

Well today has been fun 🤩

I made it to the gym with 5 hours sleep so obviously rewarded myself with two reduced Terrys chocolate creme eggs 🤪🤪🤪

Someone said I was totally a Kelly based on this speech and I can’t work out how outraged I should be 🤪🤪🤪

Smacked/grazed my shin doing box jumps at the gym. Does this make me gym bro or a noob?

Blueberries are healthy right?

Did an impromptu photoshoot for a friend and I’m gaslighting myself into thinking this is bicep gains 🤣

A story in 4 parts 👨🏽‍🍳

Can’t believe I have to be up at 6am tomorrow 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Anyone want to swap days with me?

Did a quick supermarket dash for some milk and bananas, and saw that Easter eggs are half price. This isn’t going to bode well for me at my big shop later 🫃🏾🫃🏾🫃🏾

Apparently I have a Pikachu chair now 🤪