DSCC POLLSTER: “What kind of tone would you like to see Democratic leaders take in response to ICE raids?” ME:

2% of Americans attended the No Kings! protests today. 7 million people. One out of every fifty Americans took to the streets to say enough is enough. Let that sink in.

If you’re thinking “he said the quiet part out loud,” you should understand that THERE IS NO QUIET PART ANYMORE.

They are investigating it as “vandalism.” WHAT?! So someone broke into the office and swapped out the regular flag on his corkboard with a this one?! How stupid do these people think we are?

Nearly 10,000 laugh reactions. I don’t know, man. It’s hard to imagine humanity ever facing a more dangerous threat than our own willful, wanton, joyful ignorance.

Real talk: I absolutely believe Graham Platner can win this primary, but I worry that Mills and Schumer are going to damage him badly along the way. I fear they’ll do the GOP’s dirty work for them. But only if we let them. 1/3

So, if we ever recover from the chaos and insanity of the last several years, can we now finally put to rest the whole “[government/schools/orgs/etc] should be run more like a business” horseshit? Because, once again, WE TOLD YOU that was a bad fucking plan.

On this National Coming Out Day I want to say FUCK ICE for sending queer asylum seekers back to their countries of origin. Many fled persecution and violence simply for being queer. A number of these folks were closeted for their own safety, and they came out as part of their asylum process.

So who are we gonna bomb because he’s mad he didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize?

Stephen Miller didn’t lose audio AND he didn’t freeze. He had someone absolutely screaming in his earbud after he said the words “plenary authority.” Someone was pulling his greasy piano wire strings.

I see the media just gleefully gobbled up the hooked worm the GOP dangled in front of them. No, we aren’t fighting over “enhanced Obamacare subsidies.” The term you’re looking for is “ACA premium tax credits.” Do you see the difference here? So how did this happen? 🧵

Ezra Klein doesn’t just give the bully his lunch money, he explains to the other nerds how maybe the bullies have some interesting points about how much we deserve swirlies.

Hegseth laid out the military’s new strategy, which definitely isn’t new because we all know that Oceania has always been at war with Woke-anda.

The public still (falsely) believes ICE agents were shot in Dallas because it’s hard to dehumanize immigrants while also admitting the victims (all detainees) were people. You can’t go from saying immigrants deserve to be eaten alive by alligators to then letting us care that they were shot.

I don’t know how everyone else is doing, but I’ve got about six lanes of holiday traffic anxiety trying to push its way through a state highway detour of nerves right now.

When Trump declares these acts were perpetrated by, I don’t know, wind power activists and overly aggressive lesbians or something, he not only creates the pretext for cracking down on “leftist extremists,” he completely ignores a very real and rapidly growing problem in our country. 🧵

People are reasonably suspicious when the government immediately and gleefully blames any group, especially when so little is known about the event that the response feels orchestrated. The problem is not that people don’t trust the government. The problem is that the government is not trustworthy.

Perhaps after the whole Charlie Kirk debacle we should all be careful to not jump to… oh, nope… we’re just going to go ahead and… yup. ok.

I’m legitimately asking this of people who believe this: You think that every one of the thousands and thousands of individual scientists studying climate change are all lying to you? Every one? To what end? What is in it for them to make up fake data and spend their ENTIRE careers pretending?

That people don’t understand that there is a line between “we should find therapies and remedies to alleviate the negative symptoms of autism” and “we need to eradicate autism so no child is born autistic”—and that that line is eugenics—is maddening and infuriating.

Can we talk about RFK Jr’s claims that the CDC and NIH weren’t looking at the “real” cause of autism because they were only doing “politicized research?” Is there some secret Dan Brown-esque cabal I don’t know of whose goal is to protect… Tylenol?! What politics were hiding the truth here, Robbie?!

Understand this: When they chant “We Are Charlie,” they mean it. What’s frustrating to a lot of us is that we think people have been convinced that Charlie Kirk was someone and something that he wasn’t. The truth is far worse. They understand who he was. They say “I am Charlie” because it’s true.

I want SO BADLY for the fundies to be right and for the Rapture to happen on September 23rd. And I want them to be right about *who* gets raptured. Seven years… we could get SEVEN YEARS of life on this planet without these massive dinks.

If you know MAGA folks out there saying “Kimmel was a lib, he got what he deserved,” let’s try to help them understand the First Amendment in terms of an amendment they do care about: 🧵

Americans’ inability to do nuance is something I understood well. But I’m actually shocked at the number of people who can’t distinguish between “hey, it’s not great to celebrate his death” and “you should be obligated to celebrate his life.” www.axios.com/2025/09/18/c...

This part is an editorial mistake, but how funny would it be if it were true?

“Goebbels Ends Careers of Five ‘Aryan’ Actors Who Made Witticisms About the Nazi Regime”

Do you have any idea how much of an open, festering, weepy, fetid scrotum sore of a shitty leader you need to be to get David Fucking Letterman to speak out on politics?!

Go fuck yourself, Mr. President. I am Antifa. Come at me, bro.

We may not like it—WE SHOULDN’T—but the reality is that we have very little power anymore as voters… BUT we do still have power as consumers. Cancel your ABC/Disney+/Hulu accounts right now and show them what bowing to authoritarianism costs.

You don’t need to like Jimmy Kimmel. You just need to hate fascism. Cancel your ABC/Disney+/Hulu accounts immediately. Right now. It’s literally the least we can do. If we aren’t willing to sacrifice ABC affiliated entertainment, we aren’t serious about caring at all about authoritarianism. 1/2

How about now, Chuck & Hakeem? Are we still in the “Wait And See” phase, or should we start drafting some strongly worded letters?

If Robert Redford had never existed in the world, I would be convinced that no man could wear a mustache without looking like either a hipster or a creeper. And that was only ONE of the man’s lifetime accomplishments!

It’s so depressing that our country is being ruined by such unoriginal hacks. Charlie Kirk is just Horst Wessel reheated. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horst_W...

I wouldn’t feel the need to talk shit about a guy who was shot in the neck if we weren’t threatened with punishment if we somehow don’t mourn hard enough for him. The INSISTENCE on absolute reverence for Charlie Kirk as a saint and genius ends up INVITING people to point out who he actually was.

I feel like this stupid narrative about Charlie Kirk being some all-powerful and masterful debater keeps growing, so let me point out once again that, for the most part, KIRK DIDN’T EVEN ACTUALLY DEBATE PEOPLE. At least not in any honest way. 🧵

David Brooks saying “this is our George Floyd” is the most David Brooks thing David Brooks has ever said.

Man, I really miss the beginning of this week when we were all loudly disagreeing about whether it was okay to sing during Hamilton.

If you find yourself getting mad at someone for “speaking ill of the dead” when all the person did was quote the exact words spoken by the dead person, then…

I keep hearing some version of “Agree or disagree with him, Charlie Kirk believed in Americans debating the issues!” Bullshit. Kirk invited poorly-informed kids who had never debated up on stage to rep opposing viewpoints, and then acted like it was a “debate.” It wasn’t debate. It was a circus act.

My 9yo overheard me talking to my brother about the Charlie Kirk shooting, so I obviously talked with him about it. My first question was if he knew who Kirk was. I was actually surprised that he didn’t, because he is a kid who is pretty plugged-in to culture, especially Internet culture… 1/🧵

I bet Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh decided to order Uber Eats tonight.

Remember a few years back when everyone started calling themselves “an empath,” when what they really meant was that they had a, like, *baseline* recognition that other people exist in the world and that those people have emotions?

The new claim that Trump only pretended to be friends with Epstein because he was an FBI informant trying to take him down is officially the stupidest thing these people have ever tried… and his supporters are ONE HUNDRED PERCENT going to buy it.

Every time Mike Johnson speaks it looks like a DeepFake. There’s something about his demeanor that gives serious AI bot vibes.

It’s crazy that Dr. Bronner's doesn’t have a completely unhinged TikTok channel. They have been doing the thing Nutter Butter (and others) are now doing with their online presence for decades, but they managed to be completely whackadootle in tiny print on the sides of their bottles.

Trying to get my 9 yo kiddo his Covid booster. If you have recently gotten a shot for a kid, where did you get it? We’ve been trying to find a pharmacy that is carrying kids’ shots, but no luck in 3 states.

People still don’t seem to understand that, if releasing the Epstein Files ends up implicating people “on our side,” WE WANT THAT TO HAPPEN! We WANT to know if there are terrible people alongside us so we can hold them to account and no longer associate with them. That’s what good people want.

Ummm, yes. Correct. That was literally, specifically what they said the meeting was about. They got together to plan how to live in a world where your unstable ass weilds unpredictable power. You aren’t (just) paranoid, Donnie… the other bullies on the playground don’t like you.

Some candidates you love from the start. Some you get to know and learn to like because they’re the best option to beat the guy you oppose. I’m just saying we owe it to ourselves to listen to what Congestive Heart Failure has to say on the issues.