The Knicks are the most millennial team because it’s a bunch of college friends trying to still hang out and start a podcast together and they all have a job where they work for the devil

this is the most millennial dad joke ever conceived

Alien: And how did you run out of water? Earthling: Machines drank it. Alien: Machines. Earthling: We had to feed machines the water. Aliens: So the machines were holding your planet hostage for water. Earthling: No, we made the thirsty machines. They worked for us. Alien: End communication.

Midnight’s Children East of Eden One Hundred Years of Solitude

she’s in oakland, someone tell interpol

“I’m just so goddamn fed up with all this,” Gina Small, 29, said in a comment on the U.S. economy that one of her friends assumed was about the world’s ongoing humanitarian crises, another friend thought was about the weaponization of America’s military against its own people.

read the article making this argument and it just reinforced the 3d printing analogy. the industry hype with AI is 100x larger, but the pattern was a similar "this is going to change humanity" to "this is going to revolutionize specific industries" to "this will be a fun hobby for eccentrics"

“but using LLMs to prepare your talks would make your life so much easier!” I don’t do this because it’s easy. I’m an open source maintainer. I do this because I like making myself miserable

We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

A lot of pasta sauces (spaghetti bolognese, meatballs, sausage and peppers). Chili. Homemade pizza. Beef stew or shepherds pie (in the winter). Several different types of curry. Most of this we batch cook on the weekend and freeze in portions, then alternate during the week.

mugger: *points gun* your money or your life me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix mugger: no i mean- me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital

One British thing you have to appreciate is calling a grilled cheese sandwich a “cheese toasty” because it is a sandwich for children and if you eat it it’s fine to embrace that

priest: and so wise king solomon said “i will cut the baby in half” me: ohhh. i get it. baby was a worm priest: no it was a test me: risky test. what if he’s not a worm

me: i wonder what we’d be capable of without all these high tech distractions some guy in like 1066: try and knock me off a horse with this here pole

I don't remember seeing an image of Earth before that captures the (thin, fragile, tiny layer of) atmosphere so clearly. I mean, look at that.

Oh my god, the Texas Rangers invented Homer's nacho hat

"i have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working." The Astronauts truly representing us all up there.

Me, a dumbo: Why do people put perfectly good couches in the garbage? Why not give them away for free? Me, learning my lesson: No, I can't deliver it. No, I won't hold it for 2 weeks. No, you can't come by between 2am and 3am. No, a dog did sit on it once. No, I do not have it in any other colors.

please enjoy these classic Moon Tweets™

hello 👋 i have developed a new tool called blüuümpíi. blüuümpíi will convert every file on your hard drive to a .wav file without asking you, maximize your system volume, and play them on every bluetooth speaker you have ever connected to. if you offer feedback on blüuümpíi i will take legal action

Holy shit UConn.

this is art

Thank you University of Oxford! 🐝🌎

another banner day for "if you didn't know sports were real, ESPN headlines would be crazy"

Just the story of his name is one of the coolest things of all time

[Sade voice 🎵]

Jesus when he comes back to Earth:

Michael B Jordan proving he can win without Scottie B Pippen.

one page rpg: winston churchill vs one otter you are winston churchill at 90 years of age, and you have been confronted by a single otter. you have four moves: alcohol, genocide by starvation, speeches, and being mean to guests at dinner. the otter has one move, which is to bite you in the ass

wait. wait. everyone hold on. i've solved it

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

Trying to watch the NBA on NBC and was is this shit? Video game crap highlighting names so you can’t actually see the play, circles around the ball, arcs on the shot. Is there no way to turn this off?

These are the 4 things AI can do well: •Clean up your email inbox (badly) •Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party •Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself •Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday You can see why we need to base our economy around it

Rereading this excellent post by @vickiboykis.com, "I want to see the claw", in a world where "OpenClaw" exists 😭 vickiboykis.com/2025/10/20/i-want-to-see-the-claw/

at last, we have invented retrophenology from the classic Discworld text Don’t Invent Retrophenology

lent and ramadan kicking off on the same day

Ah, yes. Waking at 4 am, unable to fall back asleep due to vitally important thoughts like “Is 5:30 am too early to order a pizza?”

Just making sure that 2025 is definitely over

This is one of the most beautiful things I have witnessed, the craft here is impeccable.

Remember: When Tylenol was poisoned *by an outsider* and killed people, the company recalled all their products & redesigned them. When Intel’s Pentium had a bug so obscure it affected 1 in _9 billion_ long division calculations, they recalled their chips. ChatGPT was made deadly *by its team*.

I like big butts and I cannot lie, I can recite 300 digits of pi

My son bought me what I thought was a drill. Turned out to be a toblerone gaffer-taped to a bottle of Bailey’s.

[first day as a shepherd] boss: where are you going? me: [pointing] star boss: what? why me: [shrugging] baby

Rare footage of St Paul’s Cathedral testing its giant flamethrower

cowboy who stubbed his toe: