“Charlie brought you and Elon back together. Is that true?” Trump pivots to UFC Fight Night at the White House with the boy'z.”

"Jimmy Kimmel was fired for lack of talent" - as Fallon suddenly regrets ruffling Trump’s hair that one time.

"Probably go after people like you" — Trump Rips Into ABC’s Jonathan Karl at the White House

"They're buying oil from Russia. That’s not the deal." | Trump Accuses Allies of Sneaky Putin oil deals. 👀

"1,400 pallets of illegal vapes seized in one day | RFK Jr. declares war on China’s vape pipeline"

"Non-white US citizens, carrying US passports at all times." ‘Don’t leave home without it’ wasn’t just about credit cards?

Senator Kennedy Yells “Alien Shrimp!” During Snack-Time on the Senate Floor https://cribnewsnetwork.com/p/senator-kennedy-yells-alien-shrimp-during-snack-time-on-the-senate-floor

Mayor Eric Adams Bangs Sippy Cup, Says He’s Running Again https://cribnewsnetwork.com/p/mayor-eric-adams-bangs-sippy-cup-says-he-s-running-again

Tiny Tots Take the Tech Table: Trump Hosts Big Boss Babies for AI Snack Time https://cribnewsnetwork.com/p/tiny-tots-take-the-tech-table-trump-hosts-big-boss-babies-for-ai-snack-time

"Everybody’s corrupt—but you?" Bernie & RFK Jr. Go Full C-SPAN Celebrity Deathmatch

The very first Diaper Diplomacy: Crib News Network is dropping in the inboxes before coffee kicks in the in the morning. There’s still time. Drop your email in faster than a baby blows out a diaper at Sunday brunch. 👇 https://cribnewsnetwork.com/

“The dictators of the world have got nothing to fear from this hearing.” Jamie Raskin says as he performs Shakespearean democracy monologues while the GOP live-tweets Farage quotes.

Camp 47 (a.k.a. the Louisiana Lockup) Opens: Tiny Leaders Say “Worst of the Worst” Get Time-Out at Angola https://cribnewsnetwork.com/p/camp-47-a-k-a-the-louisiana-lockup-opens-tiny-leaders-say-worst-of-the-worst-get-time-out-at-angola

Big Baby Bust: Jeanine Pirro Points at Giant Pile of Barrels, Says “We Seized It on the High Seas” https://cribnewsnetwork.com/p/big-baby-bust-jeanine-pirro-points-at-giant-pile-of-barrels-says-we-seized-it-on-the-high-seas

“I Created a Thing Called Space Force" …and Gave It to Huntsville Because Nothing Says ‘Space Force’ Like Chick-fil-A and Football

Governor Pritzker Shakes Rattle, Says Feds Are Already Crawling Toward Chicago https://cribnewsnetwork.com/p/governor-pritzker-shakes-rattle-says-feds-are-already-crawling-toward-chicago

Trump Moves Space Command to Alabama, Calls It “Rocket City” https://cribnewsnetwork.com/p/trump-moves-space-command-to-alabama-calls-it-rocket-city

🚨 Buckle your car seat 🚨 You asked for it: “Give us ALL the news this way.” Well… it’s here. Diaper Diplomacy’s Crib News Network is LIVE. The only baby-run newsroom for the politically exhausted. Dumpster fires in diapers straight to your feed. https://cribnewsnetwork.com/

Baby Texan Cruz Waves His Rattle And Yells Come And Take It 🤠🍼 https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/ted-cruz

Baby Jb Pritzker Told Trump To Keep His Toy Soldiers Out Of The City Sandbox, But Approved Extra Juice Boxes At Snack Time 🧃🪖 https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/jb-pritzker

"Gavin Newsom is an embarrassment." — Tom Homan says as ICE packed for Burning Man

"Poor stupid Chuck Schumer"…Meanwhile, Governors Are Slobs and Pam’s Too Pretty for Politics

“It’s not the rule of law. It’s the rule of Don.” California Gets Redistricted While Gavin Hair Rehearses for Iowa

"I am not a crook." But I did exit the presidency like a baby caught with cookie crumbs and classified documents.

Been getting a lot of “Baby Gavin Newsom when??” video requests lately. Didn’t get much time to work this week (life, chaos, actual babies, etc.), but I’ll see what kind of political daycare drama I can stir up next week. Until then… here’s a little weekend bottle-feed to hold you over. 🍼👶

"We're not giving anything now. We're selling weapons." – Trump turns aid into Amazon Prime for missiles.

“We Only Have This One War Left.” — Europe and Zelenskyy Nod Politely for 45 Minutes

"He knew it was a hoax and I knew it was a hoax" — Trump and Putin Meet in Alaska for Peace Summit

"She said she was an Indian. We call her Pocahontas." …and Somehow Bernie Catches a Stray 👀

“This grass is old, tired, exhausted.” — Trump Declares Lawn Emergency at the Kennedy Center

"Will the president consider giving the Medal of Freedom to Big Balls?" - Benny Johnson 😳

"We have a mayor who's totally incompetent" — Trump Rips Into Mayors, Governors, and… Permits?

"In Texas, Our Knees Do Not Bend" — Beto goes off on Abbott, Paxton, and Trump 😳

"Colbert has no talent. Fallon has no talent. Kimmel has no talent." – Trump In Brutal Oval Office Comedy Purge 😳

"I watched this lunatic Pocahontas..." Trump Unloads on Redistricting, Texas Democrats, and Communists.

⚖️ Baby SCOTUS

"I put the dead bear in my van... then we dropped it in Central Park." RFK Jr. casually tells Roseanne the most unhinged roadkill tale of all time. 😳

Baby Ron wrestles the playpen’s inflatable alligator before snack time, calling it “training.” 🍼🐊 https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/ron-desantis

Baby John wears the same hoodie to snack time, nap time, and block negotiations — says it’s “crib-to-congress ready.” 🍼🧢 https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/john-federman

Y'all need to stop liking and sharing all these videos, apparently, USA Today has "contacted the White House and Booker for comment." 😂😳😂 www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...

“The numbers were ridiculous.” Naturally, she’s fired. Ended the war in Congo & Rwanda too.

Baby KJP fact-checks fake news with her bottle in one hand and receipts in the other 🍼📋 diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/...

😎 “Where Are Biggie & Tupac?” – Baby Obama Roasts Baby Trump at WHCD 👶🔥

Baby Mitch vetoes blanket fort renovations, citing “budgetary concerns.” 🏰🐢 https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/mitch-mcconnell

Baby Michelle leads a march around the nursery to promote healthier snack time. 🍼🍎 https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/michelle-obama

Baby Pete hosts a block-stacking competition to prove the playpen’s greatness. 🍼🏆 https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/pete-hegseth

Baby Pete calls a town hall in the nursery to address the growing juice box shortage. 🍼🏛️ https://diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/pete-buttigieg

107 Days: “A behind-the-scenes account” — Turning Failure Into a Memoir Monetization Masterclass diaperdiplomacy.myshopify.com/collections/...

Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Snack Time 🇺🇸