psychedelic mfs be like “here is what *I* learned during *MY* ego death *EXPERIENCE*”

Inside of you are two wolves

The answer is taking a dignified exit from the world stage, taking concrete steps to ensure this can never happen again, and turning inward for the next century or so

Now I’ll only speak in hypotheticals and historical analysis but basically every time someone has said something like this we all just mutually agreed that we should kill them and then we did and everything was basically fine.

Local dad (fascist) would not read Blue Hat, Green Hat (The OOPS Book) after 3 consecutive readings of Brown Bear Brown Bear and a Halloween themed search and find book

Really an inspired strategic move by Israel to commit a genocide and make themselves into even more of a pariah state globally *before* embarking on a multifront regional war

Hobbit trying to signal to the rest of the group that he’s in his skinny legend era: “Ughhhh I only had an iced coffee and 2 dozen eggs and a wheel of cheese for breakfast today but I’m *so full*”

I bet it feels so good to yell at somebody in huttese

Justice served: Barney’s body has been flushed down the potty

Perfect album

My favorite thing people do is say “it’s up to you” they actually mean “intuit my preferences, of which I may only be dimly aware now but they will absolutely be concrete after you have chosen— and also you better not choose wrong or else you’re In For It Buster”

Secret technique: Buddha Dance!

It is, as I type this, snowing outside

The R-2 astromech is one of the best designs in history man. It’s a trash can with legs, lacks really any anthropomorphizing features, and yet when I look at it my brain still says “cute” and “friend”

It would be so funny if the people on this site are right and after platner wins he reveals he was a full on neo-Nazi the whole time. Like SS uniform on the floor of congress.

I think that if the police feel like you’re being mean to them they should get to skin you alive in front of your family

I loathe Zionism for a lot of things but one of the chiefest ones is that it convinces a lot of Jews that I hate them. It breaks my heart.

When I’m mad I look at this baseball card of DJ Khaled and attempt to infuse it with my displeasure and I think at some point I can fill it with enough negative psychic energy to make it a properly cursed object

Watching your toddlers undo an hours worth of cleaning in 15 seconds

Awful day for the “Pope Leo just says we need to deport them humanely” crowd

I bet they’re all making that face at her because that was racist as hell tbh

3 year old has decided that everyone’s middle name is also Saoirse, including her best friend Nanako, who is a small Japanese child

There is something immensely pleasing about the mandarin rhotic r.

Having a kid on the spectrum is wild because we had a phase where we only liked the Smurfs and now I have opinions on Gargamel despite being a kid 20 or so years after that program was at its peak of cultural relevance

3 year old looking at a video of Jordan peele on my phone: “daddy is that you?” 4 year old: “when you’re brown?”

Absolutely underrated vibe is late 20th century medievalism. I’m talking John Michael Talbot. I’m talking the animated lord of the rings. I’m talking redwall. Categorically goated.

Genuinely what was sebulba’s fucking problem man his ass was fully grown beefing with a nine year old SLAVE. Absolutely legendary hater.

“Is this real or a legend?” “Oh, it’s a real legend”

I’m sorry your honor but I have the zoomies. May I request a 5 minute recess

The coolest Congresswoman there’s ever been.

I’ve been noticing I’ve been thinking out loud more often as I get older. Is this a thing that happens or am I finally losing it

Do not fall for this garbage. DHS came into my city with an offensive posture, conducted itself as an invader, often attacked residents without any plausible connection to immigration enforcement, violently seized people off the streets. Now it’s our fault people died?

Hahn et al. in particular love doing tortured Sola Scriptura arguments for every obscure aspect of Catholicism like papal infallibility somehow being the antitype of some obscure Davidic judiciary function

nothing is more devastating for the right than noticing Christianity wasn’t invented in America

Children screaming and crying can be heard as a possible uprising is underway at the ICE Children's Concentration Camp in Dilley, TX (1/24/26).

Fell asleep on my stomach with my feet up in the air on some teehee shit

The AFL-CIO has called for a general strike for the first time in nearly a century in response to ICE’s lawless actions in Minnesota.

Is steely dan still cool or am I allowed to be lame again

If you work for ice please understand that your kids will laugh at a character based on you dying in an action movie before the end of the decade. They’ll be in movies for really little kids. Like Phineas and Ferb shit. There will be an action figure of you with a detachable head

JOSH ALLEN DELENDA EST. ETERNAL GLORY TO THE DENVER JDPONCOS KKKANSASS CITY ABLAZE.

People are so fucking annoying on this site holy shit

(Smugly) “you really thought your elected representatives and the checks and balances of the constitution would save you from a despot?” I mean yeah, kinda

I found out Bari Weiss and the lady that dressed up as Hillary Clinton and sang hallelujah on snl used to date and I’ve decided to lobotomize myself

I just be making little dudes in the Mii Maker and cracking myself up

Just remembered no work Monday shout out black people

I was making beats on my Nintendo ds while on the potty at work and I gave myself a headache because the bass wasn’t mixed right and it blew my earbuds up

person with bipolar disorder and IBS who charts their mental state on a quadrant of: Manic/Diarrhea Depressive/Constipation Manic/Constipation Depressive/Diarrhea

I hate to get all Vatican II but i have come to the point in my life where i find it impossible not to find Christ imminently and mysteriously between the words of the Heart and Lotus sutras

Tom Homan being like “please town down the rhetoric” immediately before explicitly threatening more bloodshed if we don’t is without a doubt the best summation of Republican domestic policy I’ve seen