Imagine being a resident of Mos Espa in 32 BBY and you’re at the junk yard waiting for a new engine for your bike and then two monks and their pet frog tell some kid he’s not a slave, he’s the Buddha, and then he kills half of your favorite nascar drivers

Fade into you….

Worms be like oh fuck yes it’s raining? Time to go hang out in a puddle and wiggle around for a little bit until it dries out then die and go to worm hell

I stand by this one

Congratulations on winning the gubernatorial race sir, what will be your first act in office? Free propeller hats and kazoos for everyone.

“Don’t call your fraternity a frat. You wouldn’t call your country a cunt.” Maoist Frat Guy: “yes I would”

Without exception I love everyone I knew from twitter that came here but it’s insane how disparate the reactions to this on this app and the rest of the internet are

I saw this and immediately thought of a beloved mutual from Twitter who I thought deactivated. Checked Twitter. Turns out he’s on here. Went to follow and turns out we already are mutuals here lol Anyway, I’ve missed you @bargearseonlyfans.bsky.social

Coming up on a full decade working in US immigration law and while the work remains rewarding I am genuinely curious why so many people want to come to this shithole

“You look tired” Oh that’s a relief because I’m actually exhausted

Is weed mortally sinful if it’s just mids. I’m talking absolute fucking buns.

Ouggghhhh

Full of Paneer

Posting both an iconic blonde AND a movie you’ve watched more than six times using gifs

“Without my car how will I be able to drive from DC to New York and back in one day” You’re not supposed to be able to do that!

Leftcaths pulling up at the DSA meeting

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it technically was me who was supposed to be paying attention to the tolls but I forgot to pay attention when they were reading it off and it would have been super uncomfortable to ask after the fact

Calling my step dad a fakecel

What if Mr Roboto was Korean

Genuinely what the fuck to you mean Werner Herzog shadow dropped a documentary about Hulk Hogan

At 3:46 in the song Crosseyed and Painless by Talking Heads the same spirit temporarily possesses David Byrne that would eventually possess Les Claypool and compel him to make Primus

elegiac

I adore Lidl but the music they play in there can best be described as “secularized evangelical praise and worship music” and I am 90% sure it’s AI generated

No matter how good you remember National Treasure being, it is better.

Sorry folks i am currently standing on wisconsin ave staring at Walter reed and everything is normal

“no more monkeys jumping on the bed” isn’t even medical advice literally anyone could have told her that.

Truth nuke

By all accounts I should absolutely hate Dune. But I do not. I fucking love Dune.

Whenever I’m in El Salvador for too long I get home sick for black people

psychedelic mfs be like “here is what *I* learned during *MY* ego death *EXPERIENCE*”

Inside of you are two wolves

The answer is taking a dignified exit from the world stage, taking concrete steps to ensure this can never happen again, and turning inward for the next century or so

Now I’ll only speak in hypotheticals and historical analysis but basically every time someone has said something like this we all just mutually agreed that we should kill them and then we did and everything was basically fine.

Local dad (fascist) would not read Blue Hat, Green Hat (The OOPS Book) after 3 consecutive readings of Brown Bear Brown Bear and a Halloween themed search and find book

Really an inspired strategic move by Israel to commit a genocide and make themselves into even more of a pariah state globally *before* embarking on a multifront regional war

Hobbit trying to signal to the rest of the group that he’s in his skinny legend era: “Ughhhh I only had an iced coffee and 2 dozen eggs and a wheel of cheese for breakfast today but I’m *so full*”

I bet it feels so good to yell at somebody in huttese

Justice served: Barney’s body has been flushed down the potty

Perfect album

My favorite thing people do is say “it’s up to you” they actually mean “intuit my preferences, of which I may only be dimly aware now but they will absolutely be concrete after you have chosen— and also you better not choose wrong or else you’re In For It Buster”

Secret technique: Buddha Dance!

It is, as I type this, snowing outside

The R-2 astromech is one of the best designs in history man. It’s a trash can with legs, lacks really any anthropomorphizing features, and yet when I look at it my brain still says “cute” and “friend”

It would be so funny if the people on this site are right and after platner wins he reveals he was a full on neo-Nazi the whole time. Like SS uniform on the floor of congress.

I think that if the police feel like you’re being mean to them they should get to skin you alive in front of your family

I loathe Zionism for a lot of things but one of the chiefest ones is that it convinces a lot of Jews that I hate them. It breaks my heart.

When I’m mad I look at this baseball card of DJ Khaled and attempt to infuse it with my displeasure and I think at some point I can fill it with enough negative psychic energy to make it a properly cursed object

Watching your toddlers undo an hours worth of cleaning in 15 seconds

Awful day for the “Pope Leo just says we need to deport them humanely” crowd

I bet they’re all making that face at her because that was racist as hell tbh