looking for some classic Santa fits when the autocomplete on my flagship Google Pixel mobile device derailed me with the least relevant top result of all time

update: i fell a second time, screwed up my hand WORSE, but managed to pull my fingers the right way and reset whatever got squarshed, and it feels so much better. i will try typing again later!

Hello, ladies! Look at your man Now back at me Now back at your man Now back at me! Sadly, he isn't me. But he could be, with the application of estradiol valerate! Look down, back up, where are you? On a boat, with the woman your man could look like.

so far Charlie Kirk is the only one who came out of this last decade better off

there has never been a better time in America for people who like killing and fuckin children, incredible achievement by the trump admin

fell hard today in the hallway because i was racing to put the washer back where i left it, and i feel sO bad. landed on my wrist, and it's so squishy rn idk if i can keyboard type normal

"though they have no criminal record"

found out the power is back on at home because i got an email from Google telling me about the new way I can use Gemini with my home devices update

i don't think i needed to write it

do not talk to me or my emotional support four year old lexapro bottle every again

imagine getting caught going to a party where everyone thought there's kid fuckin going on, but didn't know for sure

To be clear, there are too many radio people in podcasting. they will ruin you, your reputation, and will chase your fans away. They have never done anything but convert audiences into marketable chunks. You didn't need them to make your show, you certainly don't need them to make your show money.

165k subscribers hanging around for seven years and they HAD TO GET A PIECE right fuckin now, right away, before anyone can skip, omnomnom. this is on me, for waiting to get into the right mindset to listen to one of my fav audio dramas do a fun lil teaser.

praying i never get so marketing and money brained i allow a fuckin seasonal flavor sprite commercial to herald the return of my podcast

oh and Alice Isn't Dead in April again I guess

tldr drink sprite cranberry wintergreen blast

The opening ad for the Alice Isn't Dead teaser really took the wind out of my sails. like i know y'all gotta make money, but don't let your platform sales nerds ruin the fucking experience by putting in a minute long preroll ad and a thirty second closer around a MINUTE of atmospheric podcast audio.

i'd shave but my beard grows in so fast i feel like a blowfish by 11am

i don't even like crossing state borders in this country anymore and people are trying to vacation here?? lmao find someone local to degrade you

I've left dozens of places that made me feel bad, and time moves on. Nobody changes, nothing improves, the only things is i just Stop Being There. it's so easy.

nobody is gonna shake you apart for enjoying potter stuff, but you need to show a little fuckin appreciation for the restraint

sounds like mental wellness to meeee

you gotta let people fight sometimes. im still so wound up over some ignorant shit i saw on discord, and the mods shut it down SO fast that there was no resolution. you think you have peace because the queer isn't losing 'er shit in chat rn, but i don't need to be loud to lose trust.

im so fucking sick of seeing Harry Potter around, it's like pepe for transphobes

in this house we remember the union the mighty union

idk what kind of autism i have but it's the one where playing four songs at once puts me completely at ease

ngl jumpscare that somehow defeated my filters

wild that LAPD didn't just drone strike those folks with the bomb making kit. impressive restraint, im sure the FBI was chirping for it

"all thanks to" is so loaded it can't cross the bridge until two

CNN really putting the work in not connecting the fact that these shootings are rare in countries with actual gun laws, while saying literally that in reporting lmao

👤 email broke 👩‍💻 what are your seeing? any errors? 👤 nope

i will give anything with a few hundred subs a try

playing a video game instead of thinking about how the dude who couldn't keep twitter alive thinks my mom and i are exactly the same amount of Woman now

also epic is giving away the wizard game and begging users to put two hours into it in exchange for back bling lmao fun while it lasted

why would i invest any additional time in an app that i can't trust not to disappear users on a whim (again)

R U okay mark

Jodi Taylor writes some of the most evil antagonists ive ever met, casually irredeemable.

my bank keeps making it more difficult to use my card and accounts how i normally would, and there's literally nothing i can do about it. my money doesn't matter to them. nobody i could talk to is to blame, or could help, or change the situation. it's just worse now.

okay so this dude thinks the problem is we haven't asked the infinite knowledge machine the right question yet lmao

wonder if those facebook gift icons from the old days are accessible

i live near a nonunion sbux outside some ski resorts, and it's SO EMPTY. while every other store is packed, lines out the door, the drive thru and parking lot are VACANT. love itttt

i spend too much time trying to express my disgust at my country's actions without risking an extra-judicial drone strike

i love when a cashier is so excited to use a bit on they don't realize they were the ones to fuck up the interaction, it's the best

the only good things at McDonald's for breakfast these days is coffee (nearly impossible to ruin c/o adherence to legal definition of hot coffee) and hash browns

honestly get a Fit, it's the best. i spun out way less with it than i did in my Element

if im gonna be forced to adopt masculinity im going to do it and be the best at it and beat all the men i dislike into submission with my bare hands. ill be in a dress and have my nails painted for it, but trust me, ill be he/himming it up the whole time.

assume the AI shares usage data and isn't controlled by privacy related to user actions, and the push make a lil more sense

if i wanted to play a better game i would have

it is not your fault they couldn't forgive you in time to make things right

adding something like this to my network stack, tho i'll see if i can make it fog packet grease instead. www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNi4...