Rainy day fun includes asking liturgical questions on r/episcopalian and spending the day going through all the 7 classical stages of doubt, certainty, and who even really knows?, or as Bilbo Baggins called it, “There and Back Again”. ⚓️

A thing happened in Morning Prayer today that made me laugh at how far I’ve come: the worship leader used an alternate source in which the Lord’s Prayer began with “God” instead of “Father”, and I was immediately like, “but wait, that misses the point!” Y’all have gotten through to me. ⚓️

Yesterday I took my sister and niece to the airport and then came home to finish my application for Diocesan Discernment. It’s done and submitted, before tomorrow’s deadline, what a relief! I really appreciate all the support through this recent intense stretch, y’all. ⚓️

I’m in the middle of a big family reunion weekend, but the deadline for the discernment application is fast approaching. I’ve heard from the 2nd person recommended by my PIC that they are willing to serve on my Diocesan Discernment committee, so that’s a relief! At least I can check THAT box. ⚓️

This is like watching a neck and neck race that was suddenly won by a dark horse coming up from behind.

My Texas family is visiting & last night my Great-Aunt was telling me how her mom (born in the 1890’s) read the Bible every single day but never read another book. Ever. Trying to wrap my head around that. GGMa Marzella was a tiny, terrifying, tough-as-nails farmwife when I knew her as a kid.

Being the matriarch of the paternal branch of my weird family means raising an eyebrow and muttering when a notification flashes across the screen during Zoom Morning Prayer, alerting me that my Boomer uncle and dad are getting on voice chat in Discord while they game together at 7:23 am. BOYS!

Me, trying to wring out the words to articulate my “spiritual and ministerial gifts, and how they’ve been used in congregational and community ministry”: blanks out. The Spirit: “Psst. Hey. Remember how you started attending births as labor support in high school? You think that wasn’t ministry?” ⚓️

Q5: “Describe your spiritual and ministerial gifts” Well first of all, I am here to share the good news that this Indigo Girls version of Jesus Christ Superstar actually still exists in the ethers, despite my dubious choice to get rid of it in the late 90’s: www.daemonrecords.com/jesus-christ...

Oh sweet Jesus. Deep in the process of filling out the application for Diocesan Discernment, I reached out to my past rector for a few words to describe her thoughts on my call, per one of the questions. She just sent me the letter she wrote to the Bishop & COM chair last year. This will wreck me. ⚓️

Today’s sermon started with “250 years ago…” and I was like, “Oh no.” Fortunately it did eventually tie in with the Gospel. Two of the retired priests who are summer residents and helped cover supply when our rector left were back at church today. Wildly curious about their first impressions. ⚓️

I’m spending the 4th of July working on my Diocesan Discernment application because I have family arriving from around the country in a couple of days, and it turns out that “Describe your relationship with Jesus” is a whole big thing to work through. Go figure. I should have bought snacks. ⚓️

The break room drama at lunch time is really getting out of hand!

I love/don’t love that despite staying up until 2:00 am (why do I do this to myself?) and deciding not to set the alarm for Zoom MP, I still woke up barely in time to make it. They were running a couple minutes late so I got on in time to be asked to be Voice of the People, pre-coffee. Absolutely. 📕

It was great to learn about the existence of this memoir written by Pauli Murray during Morning Prayer today, and to discover that I can get it through my local library! ⚓️ bookshop.org/p/books/song...

The first thing I saw when I opened Reddit this morning, lol. Filing this under “things that stay the same” for those times when the world seems like it’s changing too fast. ⚓️

A cool thing about God’s movement in one’s life is when you apply for your local Iona School one day, and the next day your retired priest friend is giving you her old theology books and randomly mentions how she worked at the original Iona School in Texas, a couple of years after they began. ⚓️

I’m sitting on my retired priest friend’s floor sifting through her religious books and I’m overwhelmed by the selection of bibles. Do I need her first edition of the NIV? An American Standard Bible from 1929? The Good News Bible? Her Harper Collins RSV Study Bible (that’s in the yes pile)? Help! 📕

Y’all I just hyperfocused so hard while forcing myself to sit at the computer and accomplish something important that it’s suddenly 6 hours later and I’m starving, but most importantly do you think my neighbors minded that Johnny Cash’s The Gospel Road was blasting on repeat the whole time?

Nobody: “What’s your favorite hobby these days?” Me: “Asking questions about how to do church of all of my friends, er…I mean…internet strangers, on Weird Anglican Bluesky” ⚓️

For yesterday’s Eucharistic Visit, we met outdoors on the parishioner’s patio, and it was incredibly beautiful to be accompanied by woodland birdsong while 2 deer grazed nearby. They eventually settled down for a nap in the meadow. 10/10 do recommend ⚓️

New fringe benefit of discerning in a congregation which has 6 retired priests in it just dropped. 📕

Sunday afternoon post-church musing: for those who plan and/or preside, how much attention do you give to how long the overall service is? I remember my former rector brainstorming with me about what we could do to tighten up transitions & shorten the service, but the new PIC has a different style.

My daughter and son-in-law just adopted their first cat together, and look how happy she was within hours of arriving at her new home! I love her. They think they’re calling her Martha. I can’t wait to meet her.

The circulating posts about the music our parents listened to in our childhood just randomly reminded me of how I first learned The Lord’s Prayer from a Nina Hagen song in the ‘80s. My religious education was *unusual*. ⚓️

My hands. It’s definitely my hands. Centuries older than anything else.

I had an extra session with my spiritual director nun this morning, and sometimes it’s just so nice to be told that you’re doing really good work.

Y’all, I just got access to the Diocesan Discernment application and I’m just…hahahaha oh no…that last required box to check, affirming that I’ve been working with my priest for at least 12 months! It would be hilarious if after all this they were like, “Yeah, no. You have to wait ANOTHER year.” 😬 ⚓️

You know you’ve been pulling A LOT of weeds when (despite always wearing gloves) you have callouses and blisters. It’s like unlocking a new level. My hands are definitely working hands. It’s a good thing I’m not a massage therapist anymore!

As discernment continues, our PIC wants me visibly much more involved on Sundays. In addition to being a lector and Eucharistic Visitor, he wants me preaching every couple of months, offering adult forums, and regularly serving at the altar. I think I’m actually gonna need an alb soon. ⚓️

Grant us grace fearlessly to contend against evil and to make no peace with oppression

A hetero-married church friend in her 80’s told me she was about to finish the final book in a mystery series that I absolutely HAD to read, because it was about a tattooed, punk rock lesbian nun. I’m all in! Y’all, I was not expecting the (flashback) sexy scenes. I’m gonna blush at coffee hour.

The new priest-in-charge said two really important things in our discernment meeting today: “I’m sorry” (for having been the cause of distress) and “I’ve got your back.” Breathing a sigh of relief. I think we’re gonna do this thing. ⚓️

It’s been 2 weeks since the discernment meeting with our PIC, and I hadn’t had any interactions with him or anyone from church until I reached out yesterday to confirm that we aren’t meeting today. He said he had actually been expecting to meet, and to please come in, so yeah, that’s happening.

Again?! Still?

We’re having a family marriage celebration here in a few weeks, which is bringing folks in from far and wide. Most notably, 8 of our Texas relatives are coming, only 3 of whom have ever been to the island. Most of us haven’t even met! It’s gonna be a wild time.

In Zoom MP, I agreed to be backup for a reader whose internet connection was iffy. As I jumped in to read Numbers, I suddenly remembered a weird phase I went through where “for fun” at a weekly party, I would stand and randomly read aloud from the Bible. Friends, I’d never read the Bible before.

I skipped church today and hung out with my dad and family friends. Seeing posts about the lessons and sermons, I went and looked at the bulletin for today, and only then did I discover that we’re using RCL Track 2 instead of Track 1. Anybody else doing Track 2? Curious about how common it is. 📕

you may be a wholesome example to all people

Y’all, I decided to drop by my dad’s after work and when he saw me he said, “WHERE WERE YOU?!” He went to the Pride Parade to cheer for me, and I wasn’t there. He’s a very good dad 😭 Also apparently our church contingent was unrecognizable, as there was no banner or identifying signs. Oops? ⚓️

Did I, a queer person who grew up in this town & came out in mid-80’s high school just skip our local Pride parade because I am too in my complicated church feels? Yeah, yeah I did. I was the coordinator & banner bearer for our church Pride contingent for the past 3 years. This is not the best 🫤 ⚓️

It’s my 4th Churchiversary! The first time I attended church (besides funerals & a few visits as a kid) it was Juneteenth. I was planning a Father’s Day outing with my dad, to visit my daughter, when as a joke/dare she said, “But imagine if you both came to my church?!” She had just found TEC. ⚓️

This has never been more fitting

There was a short-lived thread on Reddit last night suggesting that the clergy shortage in TEC could be solved by conditional ordination of postulants, who would then serve as parish priests at 3/4 pay while going to seminary. They could preside over the Eucharist and preach from Sermons That Work.

Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?

I suggest that, given Eucharistic consecration is a fundamental rite of all sacramental forms of Christianity, it must be available as a cantrip, nothing higher — and based on other cantrips with similar powers, I propose that 10ft is the limit.

post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet (if you feel like it):

This is…particularly appropriate

A query & confession: how important is the particular priest in your experience of church? I was recently told, “You should never go to a church because of the priest. If you’re there for the priest, you’re there for the wrong reason”. This doesn’t actually square with my personal experience.

That is between me and my shadow.