Oops I “accidentally” informed our new priest that we actually have a team of licensed worship leaders and now he wants us to do more stuff. I’m such a troublemaker. First I showed up and caused them to get licensed (after doing Evensong without for 20+ years), and now this?! Meddling kid. ⚓️

Every once in awhile we get the front spot on the boat. Glad to be headed home after day 2 at the dealership. One does always wonder how strong that net actually is. Island life.

Last year on Ascension Day our parish got the very unexpected email that our beloved rector was resigning her call and would be leaving us. I remember thinking that the timing was super intense. So yeah, now that we’re here again, apparently I have a weird association with Ascension Day now. ⚓️

Instead of earning desperately needed money, I am spending the day in the purgatory of the waiting room at the dealership service department, while they assess my truck. To go along with the overall vibe, the only book I brought was The Liberation of the Laity. Pray for me. 📕

I’ve been a professional gardener/caretaker for 30 years. It’s peak weeding season and my “good” hand has started going numb earlier and earlier in the work day. This is getting ridiculous.

We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words.

Dangerous kitten, not good for pettings, but lovely to look at respectfully.

The challenging Leviticus reading? I decided to shorten it and avoid the issue. I had already printed it out, so I drew a line at the stopping point. After a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit, I started the reading. The next thing I knew I was into the “hard” part! I had mismarked my end point.

I prepare the propers for our Monday Evensong weeks in advance, and have been a bit rigid about always including the Old Testament reading, per the rubrics in the Daily Office lectionary. Last week I got some heat about Leviticus. Today’s reading from Lev is…harder. Do I choose another reading? 📕

An awesome moment today was when the choir processed out from the front of the nave during the final hymn, down the center aisle and wrapped back around both sides, still singing. I was on the outside edge and heard my daughter’s voice approaching from behind me. She ended up next to me. Chills. 🕯️

Just gonna set this down right here in case anyone else didn’t know they needed a Julian of Norwich/Florence + The Machine anthem today. youtu.be/Pw1KJXZ4Eh4?...

I used all the money I’ve got so that I could put enough gas in the truck to get to Bellingham and back for Mother’s Day church and brunch. I really could have done without my check engine light coming on just before I arrived up there 😭 I am grateful to have made it there and home again safely!

I made it to my church home away from home! Mom bailed on the outing so it was Florence + the Machine at full volume all the way here. Love St Paul’s Bellingham 💜 ⚓️

My cat child is lovingly celebrating me. So generous. So kind. I might be late getting out the door to visit my human child!

I’m attending my daughter’s Episcopal Church 2 hours away, instead of my own, so that we can have Mother’s Day lunch together afterwards. Meanwhile my non-religious mom invited herself along for the outing. If she wants to see me on Mother’s Day, she has to pay the price by sitting through church! ⚓️

After looking in the mostly empty cupboards & fridge, I said to my cats, “I sure do wish there was some kind of snack around here. Oh well.” and before I could make it across the room to sit down, empty handed, my neighbor knocked on the door, saying, “I brought you a snack.” God works like that. ⚓️

same

I was on a Zoom call, talking with a priest about the discernment process when I got a phone call from an unknown caller. This screen shot is the transcription of the voicemail they left. I was very confused until I listened to it - it was my medical provider, talking about my HRT prescription 😹

Just got one of the required books for our diocesan vocational discernment process, Anne Rowthorn’s The Liberation of the Laity (1986). Only a few pages in and I already feel like I’m being bludgeoned over the head with the book, which is a common reaction to writing from that time frame. Hmmm.

Remember all who have died in the peace of Christ, and those whose faith is known to you alone; bring them into the place of eternal joy and light.

We were getting ready to lock up the church when a familiar looking woman approached and asked for our former rector. What a gut punch to tell her that Jenny’s no longer at our church, or even in the state! It turns out she stopped by because it was the 1st anniversary of her mom’s death.

When the priest invited folks up to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries & thanksgivings, did I jump up to give thanks that today was my “super church-nerdy anniversary” of one full lectionary cycle since the first time I attended our church 3 years ago? Yes, yes I did. Happy Easter 5 Year A to me!

blessings in abundance, regardless of merit or circumstance

Those who build walls are their own prisoners. I'm going to go fulfil my proper function in the social organism. I'm going to go unbuild walls.

I’ve been living in my small cohousing community for 11 years which means I keep getting caught off guard by the fact that the “little kid” from next door’s voice is changing. How did the pre-schoolers turn into adolescents? What’s next, driving?! Kids these days!

Niche church nerd moment: I looked at the readings for this Sunday and realized that my first Sunday at my parish 3 years ago must have been Easter 5 because I distinctly remember the impression that the sermon made on me that day. It’s my “full 3 year lectionary cycle” anniversary! 📕

In my discernment meeting yesterday my PiC asked if I’d written a Rule of Life. I explained my CSM oblate formation process, and said that it’s functionally my Rule of Life until I make my oblation and write my own. After listening to the list of daily/weekly/monthly practices, he gave me homework:

Blessed Beltane!

Tomorrow I have my second meeting with our new priest to talk about discernment, and I’m really hoping it goes well. He’s just spent 3 days at our Diocesan Clergy Conference, so it will be interesting to find out how that was for him. At least he got to meet a few clergy at Cathedral Day first! ⚓️

⚓monastic wisdom "Imagine a circle where God is the center and we are on the circumference. Our lives are lines between center and circumference. The closer we go to God, the closer we get to each other. The further we go from God, the further we get from each other." Dorotheus of Gaza (6th century)

Lunch break, listening to the hummingbirds, swallows and red wing blackbirds. I love my Wednesday job site. Glorious.

Um, I know we are extra progressive, inclusive and expansive out here in the Wild West of Dio Oly, but “reaffirmation of baptismal cows” is a truly unique charism! 😹 ⚓️

I woke up at 3:00 am humming “I bind unto myself today the strong Name of the Trinity…”. There’s nothing like being in a Cathedral procession and hearing/singing all the verses to let it thoroughly seep in through one’s spiritual pores. So good. So good. Amen. ⚓️

I love our annual Cathedral Day so much. There’s so much joy in it! We had over 100 confirmed/received/reaffirmed today, with our former Bishop Provisional assisting the Bishop, so that it didn’t take quite as long. The procession of the banners, the gorgeous choir, the excellent sermon…glorious! ⚓️

For a word to be spoken, there must be silence. Before, and after.

Yesterday I was viscerally reminded while praying for a friend who was in labor that my first experience of sensing a vocational call began when I was in 3rd grade, and carried me into my 30’s. I was sure I was meant to be a midwife. I’m still pretty sure about that, but life didn’t go that way. 1/

From that time forth he believed that the wise man is one who never sets himself apart from other living things.

V. O Lord, in thee have I trusted;

Living, being in the world, was a much greater and stranger thing than she had ever dreamed.

Khajiit has wares if you have coin

I had a friend ask if I could make a postpartum Eucharistic Visit while she observes the custom of staying home with the baby for their first 40 days together. She knows I used to be a birth doula, so this feels like a natural thing to do. Have any of the clergy/Lay EV done postpartum visits?

There’s a service guy here doing annual maintenance on my heat pump/mini-split and it’s so awkward in a 550 sq ft condo! He’s definitely eyeing my combo of Christian books, queer books and cat stuff while he makes friendly conversation, trying to figure out what the heck my deal is.

Sometimes I close my eyes and let my brain play with the incredible “what if?” of actually becoming a postulant and moving across the country for seminary. It’s absolutely outlandish and I feel like it’s a good exercise in acclimating to the foreign idea. Dipping my toes in the imaginal waters… 1/?

Yesterday was our church’s 61st Annual “Trash and Treasure Sale”. 100% of the proceeds go to local nonprofit groups. We don’t have the final numbers yet, but we know that it’s the most we’ve ever raised! Thanks be to God, alleluia, alleluia! ⚓️

A little Sunday afternoon perfection.

Me to the new priest this morning: “I’m going to go put together the Eucharistic Visitor kit. I’ve never done it before, because the ministry lead always does it.” PIC: “You’re an aspirant, so you need to learn to do these things.” Me: “I get the sense I’ll be hearing that a lot” PIC: “A LOT!” ⚓️

Death and life are the same thing-like the two sides of my hand, the palm and the back. And still the palm and the back are not the same...They can be neither separated, nor mixed.

It’s the time of year when I spend 6 hours a day weeding and oh boy is my body keeping the score.

I met with our new Priest-in-Charge to talk about discernment, which included introducing him to where I’m coming from/where I’m at, and to the newly revised process in our Diocese. When I told him we have a July 1st deadline he gasped, and then said, “Well we’d better start meeting weekly!”

I just led Zoom Morning Prayer for the first time in a month, and it’s a good thing we’re in Eastertide because my joy at returning to it was impossible to contain. Alleluia, alleluia! ⚓️