bpd : i have 0 ability to detect whether i’m being mistreated or whether im overreacting

i don’t know who i am

i never voice my biggest fears and concerns

plans changing makes me evil

struggling w salt atm what has become of me why do i suddenly want sweet food now

a magazine that also does social media content asked to license my video and share the profits but i don’t even rly know what that means i just woke up

wonder if i could get hot tub jets for my bath and use it like a giant washing machine

my god i feel so depressed

i spent FAR too much money to still be waiting for the lab results. pidge needs their medicine asap…

just ate a whole bag of fried tofu bcus i forgot to put it in my ramen

mantis may be reaching his old age

had a stressful medical emergency w pidge today but he’s okay now. he’s sleeping next to my bed tonight

fangirling bcus a big pigeon content creator that i’ve watched for a long time followed me back today…. my fave …..

too many thoughts and feelings trying to sleep

i’m so busy with pidge

offers u a pigeon

i may have spent nearly 1K in vet fees saving a pigeons life 😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

i need to scream but completely alone

social anxiety! at the vet clinic

i do not thrive in the cold

i’m going vets in the morning

spent so long editing a video just to be in double digit views jail

pigeon has been released /cries but they look so healthy now :)

pigeon has started to play with my hand 😭 i don’t wanna say goodbye omg ….

im releasing pigeon tomorrow or the next day depending on my partners schedule

there’s definitely a creature in my kitchen and it’s not the pigeon

i miss vent always and i’ll never stop saying it

shit thoughts and feelings always coming back as soon as i’m alone and im not even properly alone. we’re in the same room. but all the bad feelings come back when they’re not next to me. exhausting body

i feel like i’m the opposite of everyone else and things that are meant to be helpful for most are harmful for me. like in therapy. i’m trying my hardest but im unresponsive so they say that im not trying but im trying so hard to prove that im trying because i AM TRYING and i just keep goin downnnn

why do plugs take 10 hours

i have little to say about the kirk situation other than it’s all i see when i make buldak ramen now :/

peoples views are so black and white nothings ever so simple

sucks that i can’t find the injured pigeons i wanna help

imagine this with 2 braids in the back

i think my long hair is making me dysphoric but my hair growing journey :( but also hashimotos is making me lose hair so it’s just gonna get thinner :/

emotions hurt so physically

in the end, all the fictional characters that i ever have had the urge to protect simply reminded me of myself

mental illness is so hard

catching a pigeon is the most nerve wracking thing and only because of the people that might see and not understand why i’m gonna go out in a sec to look for one of two badly injured pigeons

someone recognised me today . i’m not supposed to existttttt

i’m too tired and weak to cook :/

it’s gonna be hard to release pigeon back to their flock. imma miss them sm. but there’s more injured pigeons out there that need help. i saw another with a worse eye infection today. and there’s one i intend to catch that has baddd stringfoot (almost definitely needs vet visit)but i cant find them

i fell over today . outside . and i couldn’t walk after. was so ouchy. there’s a wound and swelling 😔

ts is lowkey patronising

it’s often a financial blessing to go off hyperfixation food

pigeon landed on my head

i’ve always had really bad emetophobia but as i age and my health conditions worsen, i’m starting to face it better. just want to get it over with now. instead of begging the gods not to let it happen

i’m going to explode from the cuteness……..

pigeon accepted pets….. i’m gonna cri

karaoke alone time